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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: Harry Potter To Feature Prominently In Olympics Opening Ceremony

Harry Potter To Feature Prominently In Olympics Opening Ceremony

London 2012:- Insider leaks suggest that the mysterious 40 foot high figure in Stratford's Olympic Stadium, recently photographed from the air, and heavily disguised by a tarpaulin, is in fact, none other than the fictional wizard, Harry Potter. T...

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Funny story: Anti-aircraft missiles to be deployed from Thames cable cars during Olympics

Anti-aircraft missiles to be deployed from Thames cable cars during Olympics

London - Hundreds of rapier and high velocity anti-aircraft missiles are to be deployed from cable cars above the Thames. The recently opened £60 million river crossing links the O2 Arena in Greenwich and the ExCel exhibition centre at East London...

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Funny story: Olympics Shock Resignation

Olympics Shock Resignation

Britain has been rocked by the shock resignation of Lord Cod as Olympics Supremo. In a statement leaked to our Sports editor Seb Cod declared: 'In the interests of the country I must resign from my post at Director General of the Olympics. After t...

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Funny story: Britney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics

Britney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics

Fears were growing again for Britney Spears health last night as she told fans she would be purchasing a 'duplex' in East London and competing at the London 2012 Olympics. Speaking to a fan on myface she said she loves the east end, after filming...

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Funny story: The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Unusual Bake Sale That The African Olympic Team From Lower Zamgola Is Having In Order To Raise Airfare To London

The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Unusual Bake Sale That The African Olympic Team From Lower Zamgola Is Having In Order To Raise Airfare To London

TARZANVILLE, Lower Zamgola - The government of the African country of Lower Zamgola has been immersed in economic havoc since the devaluing of its paper money known as the tambuska. Prior to Valentine's Day, one U.S. dollar was equal to 197 tambus...

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Funny story: The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Reason Why The Pakistani Olympic Team President Is Furious With The International Olympic Committee

The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Reason Why The Pakistani Olympic Team President Is Furious With The International Olympic Committee

KARACHI, Pakistan - The president of the Pakistani Olympic team Kandarbad Peshabdu is extremely upset with the International Olympic Committee. President Peshabdu has just received a text message from the IOC informing him that the entire Pakistan...

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Funny story: Olympics: David Beckham misses out on Stuart Pearces 'Team GB Squad'

Olympics: David Beckham misses out on Stuart Pearces 'Team GB Squad'

The world of British sport was in shock today when Team GB Olympic Football team boss Stuart Pearce named his squad for the Games and local lad made good David 'OBE' Beckham wasn't on it. 'Pearcy' had to reduce his squad down from 35 to 18, and co...

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Funny story: Sebastian Coe Heartbreak after Being Omitted from Team GB

Sebastian Coe Heartbreak after Being Omitted from Team GB

Sebastian Coe has not been selected for Great Britain's Olympic Athletics Squad which was announced today. The 55-year-old former two time gold medal winner of the 1500m said in May he thought he had a "good chance" of running at London 2012.

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Funny story: David Beckham: "The Olympics are cancelled!"

David Beckham: "The Olympics are cancelled!"

After tirelessly campaigning to bring the 2012 Olympic Games to London, David Beckham was distraught today when it became clear he had not been picked for the British Olympic football team. Stuart Pierce who has been charged with putting the team to...

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Funny story: U.S. Olympian Lolo Jones Sacrifices Virginity for Olympic Dream

U.S. Olympian Lolo Jones Sacrifices Virginity for Olympic Dream

Eugene, OR - Self-declared "virgin" and Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones was having a rough season. Four years after a stumble on the ninth hurdle cost her a gold medal at the Beijing games, Jones didn't seem to have even a remote shot at redemption. Enter...

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Funny story: Saudis Allow Women to Compete In Games But Insist on Traditional Attire at all Times

Saudis Allow Women to Compete In Games But Insist on Traditional Attire at all Times

Saudi Arabia is to allow its women athletes to compete in The Games for the first time. A statement issued by the Saudi Embassy in London says the country's committee will "oversee participation of women athletes who can qualify, however, they sh...

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Funny story: London Ban On Men Over 40 Wearing Tracksuits During 2012 Olympics!

London Ban On Men Over 40 Wearing Tracksuits During 2012 Olympics!

The government has announced that all men over the age of 40 are to be banned from wearing tracksuits in London as from midnight 27 July to midnight 12 August this year. Police will be out in force on the streets of London throughout the duration...

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Funny story: D L Misty On The Olympic Torch

D L Misty On The Olympic Torch

If there's one thing I can't stand it's the Olympics. Another thing I can't stand is all this talk about the weather. You know, 'Oh how terrible the weather is, you wouldn't think it was June', that kind of talk. The other week I was in a shop buying some picture hooks when I heard the woman behind the counter saying 'isn't the weather dreadful? You wouldn't know it was June'. Apart from the fact...

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Funny story: Pension and Working Hour Issues Threaten Sex Workers Strike During Olympics!

Pension and Working Hour Issues Threaten Sex Workers Strike During Olympics!

The Home Office has vowed to intercede in a pending work stoppage during the Olympics as the Sex Workers Union (SWU) has threatened a 'Lay Out' during the August Influx of cash carrying tourists for the gala event heralded as a 'boom to the econom...

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Funny story: Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

The government has raised the UK's current terrorist threat level to 'severe', meaning a terrorist attack is now thought to be 'highly likely', following an incident at the new Olympic Park in East London this morning after a fox was seen outside the...

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Funny story: West Ham awarded Olympic Stadium - but with conditions attached

West Ham awarded Olympic Stadium - but with conditions attached

The Olympic Steering Committee (or is that Beering committee) have finally come to a decision as to which football team will move into the white elephant that is the Olympic Stadium in Stratford. The committee have agreed that West Ham United will...

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Funny story: Weather quiet on Wimbledon and Olympics plans

Weather quiet on Wimbledon and Olympics plans

The British weather has refused to be drawn on its plans for the Wimbledon championships and the forthcoming London Olympics-even after buggering up the recent Jubilee celebrations. The relentless pissing rain that totally spoiled three out of the...

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