The government caused outraged today when it announced that wanking and masturbation in general will be outlawed after midnight today. Government spokesman Marsta Bates, said the move was introduced to improve the eyesight of the population and ta...
Suffolk Superior Crown Court, Boston, United States: Only in America, the land of the free and the brave, would a Tabby Cat be been summoned to do jury service. In compliance with the US judicial system website, jurors are "not expected to speak...
NEW YORK - At the United Nation Conference on Crime, socialogists, psychologists, geographers, and all other manner of doctorate and professors decided how to lower crime. They first, came to the conclusion that crime is solely caused by humans.
You know I get asked all the time - "David how can we stop these murderers from killing our babies before they're bored" - and I say I don't know but I believe in protection of everyone from 'womb to tomb' if you know what I mean. So I guess the only way to change the mind of these high and mighty, liberal thinkers is to give them the facts and how it would affect their oh so perfect lives. Bei...
Today is a historic day in British history, as the offside law makes a gigantic leap from the football field into the life of every unsuspecting citizen. Having been trialled in supermarkets earlier this year, the new "public offside rule" is set...
Washington, D.C. - A new Bill is set to hit the Legislative floor after the holidays. The Bill, known as HR-203fat-Y will be one of the first items discussed once the legislators return to Washington after the holiday recess. In the Bill is the...
Following lukewarm ratings for some NBC prime time offerings, executives at the network have decided to expand on the Law & Order franchise for the remainder of this Fall season and into 2011. Over the last three years, the original Law &...
BIRMINVENTRY, EALIMINISTER, MANCHESEEDS - The Tories have announced that cities and towns will merge to form 'supercities'. This happened overnight. Birmingham used to be Europe's largest metropolitian administrative area (by population), however,...
The evidence was there for all to see. A gang of 3 evil teens - used a mobile phone to film themselves carrying out depraved assaults on their 17-year-old autistic victim - who suffers from Asperger's syndrome. In a sickening spree of violence the...
WASHINGTON, DC - Fresh off his healthcare "victory", Harry Reid announced today that he will introduce legislation next week that will mandate that all homeowners subscribe to the American Lawn Care Program (ALCP). In a press conference this after...
Bratislava, Slovakia - New laws have been passed here outlawing burping or breaking wind in public places. It seems that Slovaks have had enough of foreign tourists taking their humble country for grant it and want to impose some harsh behavioural...
Brazillian supermodel Gisele Bundchen put a smile on the face of red blooded men everywhere when she said that breast feeding should be "the law". In an interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine, the world's highest paid supermodel said "I think bre...
A gang of apparently dyslexic or illiterate vigilantes from South London have been attempting to target suspected paedophiles, but to date have only succeeded in assaulting innocent members of the public. The gang, calling themselves 'The Peckham...
London - (Reuterus): Residents in the exclusive leafy enclave around Buckingham Palace are to assert their rights under the newly enacted Sarah's Flaw. The legislation is named after one of Sarah, Duchess of York's career-best errors of judgment.
A loop hole in the law has been discovered which could lead to those previously sentenced to life in prison to be back on the streets just hours after their death. This news will come as a blow to campaigners, following the recent high profile cas...
Answering a question that has plagued tens of fans since the first time the cast defiled our collective mentalities, our television friends on "Jersey Shore" have careers post-MTV: Contract negotiations and the attendant law. The cast: JWoww, Fran...
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clogg has revealed plans to abolish unnecessary laws in a bid to shift the balance of power from the state to the people. The moves are intended to bolster the Coalition pledge that policy makers don't make law. People do. I asked a cross section of society what laws they would like to see repealed. The Smoker Speaking from a 6 inch hole in his throat cel...
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