New York - The highly respected Webster's Dictionary has announced it will include the acronym "WTF" in their 2012 edition. "WTF" which stands for "what the fuck"?" or "what the fuck!!!" is now used so commonly by so many Americans about so many t...
The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons' offices quicker than you can say "Se Habla Espanol?" No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third language...
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced a new raft of words that have become acceptable for use in every day speech. Demonstrating his ability to use words himself, dictionary editor Professor Pip Datpost said he was "excited, ecstatic, deligh...
The Oxford English dictionary has made the remarkable step of allowing some so-called emoticons into the dictionary complete with full definitions. Emoticons are the punctuation marks that display emotional responses, such as the traditional smile...
The history of writing the spoken word is a scientific discipline all to itself. It is widely agreed that the Egyptians and Chinese writing systems arose together through trade, and gave rise to two independent systems. The Phoenicians carried Egypti...
As the Spoof's foremost reviewer I get to review some cool stuff. This month I was sent three Lingo language packs: German, Italian and Spanish. I would quite like to have learned Chinese, just to find out what the people in the Chinese Chippy were saying about me. I've never been very good at learning languages though. I even with English struggle. Lingo packs come in three parts. These are:...
These days we are always hearing about how all our footballers are earning far too much money and are such terrible role models for children everywhere. So it's always nice when we hear a good news story. This week, Manchester United Superstar W...
BIRMINGHAM - In the face of Cameron's cultural directive, Big Society, a group of pupils at a local secondary school have taken charge of thier class. Big Society is allowing volunteers to run certain things that local councils or the government w...
New York, NY - United Nations Gibberologist today hailed the passage of a draft resolution celebrating the global renaissance of the ancient Gibberish language, thus rendering human communication and understanding more difficult. "Historically," s...
The Most Amazing Words of 2010 were last night announced at the Annual Most Amazing Words Awards Ceremony held in the Kodak Theatre, Hollywood, California. For the fifth year in a row, and to no great surprise to the thousands of cogniscenti in at...
The current 250 year licence granted to the USA to use English as its official language is due to expire at the end of January 2011. The licence was originally granted by King George III and intended as a stop-gap till the colony (as it was then) dec...
Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word, "Fuck". It is one magical word: Just by its sound, you can describe, pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, like most words in the English language, takes its name from the German word, "Friken" which means to strike. In language, Fuck falls into many grammatical catagories. It can be used as a verb, both intr...
Hello! And welcom to our fist adition of Poof Readers Gazelle. In a pact addition, we will bee lookin at weys of improving pruf reading and the spotting of misteks and punctuation our business is hard on the eyes and we recomand you have reguler cheek ups. We can give you a lost of top opticians in your aria and you get a discout if you mention our mag. Mr Spoon of Bristols, will be...
The verb "to assange" has been officially added to the Oxbridge English dictionary this week, in honour of the whiney attention-seeker Julian Assange. "To assange" is officially defined as "to act in a criminal manner and then to behave smugly and...
What has this world come to where saying phrases such as "go fuck yourself you bastard" and "doo-doo butter" are against the law? Pretty soon children won't even be able to take candy from strangers in creepy vans anymore. What happened to the good o...
BIRMINGHAM - Across the country, metaphors are becoming true due to lack of vocabulary in citizens. The average person has roughly 5000 words in their vocabulary, with university students having 8000, and chavs having fifteen. Due to this lack...
A top elocution expert has backed actor Emma Thompson's broadside against modern teen speak. Thompson, speaking to pupils at her old school, complained that filling sentences with expressions "like" and "innit" made young people sound stupid. A...
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