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Funny satire stories about Julian Assange

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Funny story: "Assange" added to dictionary

"Assange" added to dictionary

The verb "to assange" has been officially added to the Oxbridge English dictionary this week, in honour of the whiney attention-seeker Julian Assange. "To assange" is officially defined as "to act in a criminal manner and then to behave smugly and...

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Funny story: WikiLikker Denies Charges, Says Women's Evidence Smells "Fishy"

WikiLikker Denies Charges, Says Women's Evidence Smells "Fishy"

Julian Assange, in his first statement since being released on bail, said that the accusations by the two Swedish women who accused him of diving into their Wiki's unprotected, smelled "fishy" to him. While neither confirming nor denying having se...

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Funny story: Assange buoyant as Putin vows "We do not rub out traitors..."

Assange buoyant as Putin vows "We do not rub out traitors..."

Norfolk/Suffolk Border - (Boy Oh Boy): Rumors of a Mad Vlad caveat "...because we always outsource to Mossad, heheh!" have done little to dent Julian Assange's mood. Persistent reports that the whistleblower was thrown out of the KGB 'by Putin him...

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Funny story: Leak Man Out

Leak Man Out

A Judge has risked his life by allowing Julian 'WikiLeaks' Assange out of prison on bail. Despite the efforts of the Crown Prosecution Service, working on behalf of Sweden and America, Assange was granted bail only on condition that he stayed in a ca...

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Funny story: Julian Assange to be extradited to Sweden

Julian Assange to be extradited to Sweden

Assange the WikiLeaks dude who is in trouble everywhere in the world was today granted bail in the UK high court. Ausi' born Assange is facing deportation for charges of a sexual nature committed in Sweden of all places. His lawyer said today: 'I...

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Funny story: Fishy cabal behind Assange bail bond release

Fishy cabal behind Assange bail bond release

London - (Bottomfeeders): Movie maker Ken Roach, investigative hack John Pilchard and Z-list celeb Jemima Kharp were named today as the usual suspects. The trio has provided Westmonster Magistrates Court with a £200,000 surety. This will see Ju...

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Funny story: The planets conspire to upstage Julian Assange bail appeal

The planets conspire to upstage Julian Assange bail appeal

London - (Winter Triangle): A Mercury-Mars-Pluto conjunction straddling Capricorn threatens to scupper the whistleblower's court appearance on Tuesday. The stunning triplicity occurs on the natal Sun/Mercury conjunction of a top UN war crimes pros...

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Funny story: Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

LONDON - Wikileaks has published 57 linear feet of toilet paper detailing Julian Assange's high-tech plan to be broken out of London's Wandsworth prison. The plan consists of Assange apparently being officially transferred to another prison on M...

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Funny story: American Media Supports Jailed Free Speech Dissident, Jailing Free Speech Dissident

American Media Supports Jailed Free Speech Dissident, Jailing Free Speech Dissident

The American press is loudly calling for the release of jailed free speech activist and Nobel Peace Prize Winner Liu Xiaobo while at the same time calling for the jailing of Wikileaks founder and free speech activist Julian Assange. Xiaobo and As...

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Funny story: Some further Wikileaks released today

Some further Wikileaks released today

Well, the Wikileaks just keep on coming! In a new revelation that was declared brand new, some new leaks have been Wikied: President Ihavea Nodinnajaquet of Iran: A 2009 cable between the USA and the rest of the world (except Iran) declared that the president was actually as crazy of a box of frogs. On fire. And without legs. Ann Widdecombe, star of scream and stage, is in the running to...

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Funny story: Wiki-Leaked: Assange diaries published on Internet

Wiki-Leaked: Assange diaries published on Internet

The phrase "hit em where it hurts" has never been so applicable. Or, as the Global Governments have decided, they're serving a dish best served cold... on Julian Assange. Tired of having their private lives splashed on the Internet; tired of revel...

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Funny story: Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund

Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund

For no apparent reason, and flatly denying that the creation of the web page and donation button had anything to do with its recent shut down by Julian Assange backed hackers, Mastercarb is now offering a way to send a charge transaction directly to...

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Funny story: Condom WikiLeaks: Julian Assange Arrested For Unprotected Sex

Condom WikiLeaks: Julian Assange Arrested For Unprotected Sex

Julian Assange, the beleaguered editor of WikiLeaks, was arrested in London, not for leaking news, but for leaking vital bodily fluids. Two young Swedish women of impeccable character, claim that Julian had sexual relations with them on their fi...

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Funny story: 'Resistance is futile!' US Cyber Consequences Unit CEO Scott Borg warns Assange

'Resistance is futile!' US Cyber Consequences Unit CEO Scott Borg warns Assange

Washington AC/DC - (Seven of Nine Eleven Mess): The US government's anti-hacking Tsar has warned about dangers of straying into American diplomacy's equivalent of the Delta Quadrant. "You will be assimilated, Mr Assange," Scott Borg said in a pres...

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Funny story: Statue of Liberty Collapses

Statue of Liberty Collapses

In an extraordinary parallel event the Statue of Liberty in America crumbled into dust as Julian Assange, of WikiLeaks fame, was locked up having been refused bail pending his questioning over alleged sexual assaults in Sweden. 'That'll shut the b...

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Funny story: Coded Leonardo da Vinci manuscript gives 'Jesus Anal Gain' anagram for Julian Assange!

Coded Leonardo da Vinci manuscript gives 'Jesus Anal Gain' anagram for Julian Assange!

Nantes - (Merovingian Line Nonsense): Scraps of a newly discovered document found in Nantes Public Library written by the Renaissance genius may have decoded the mystery behind the WikiLeaks founder. Leonardo's signature back-to-front script in th...

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Funny story: Wikileaks leaks leak about Assange incarceration

Wikileaks leaks leak about Assange incarceration

Julian Assange was today arrested and refused bail regarding an alleged sexual assault in Sweden. His own Website has released a leak saying that Assange has been "stitched up" by assorted Governments keen to stem the tide of... erm... leaks. "...

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