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Funny satire stories about Julian Assange

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Funny story: Julian Assange schtum about anonymous DNA birth father George W Bush

Julian Assange schtum about anonymous DNA birth father George W Bush

Norfolk - (Reuterus): The halo's looking pretty damned tarnished amid reports George W Bush is Julian Assange's father. Spawned in the Australian humpback - er...outback! - Dubya-Bloody-Junior soon learned to milk the paternity for kudos and cash.

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Funny story: WikiLeaks to be re-branded as WikiLeeks

WikiLeaks to be re-branded as WikiLeeks

The Whistle Blowing website, WikiLeaks, run by Australian Swedish Lady Lover, Julian Assange, is to be taken down and re-branded as a site about vegetables. "Instead of all this troublesome leaking of national secrets," said Assange, "we are going...

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Funny story: The Week in Briefs

The Week in Briefs

Entertainment World this Week by famed columnist Helon Kokaine at the "Hollywood Rehab Times" Demi Lovato: Disney breathed a sigh of relief this weekend when sources close to Demi Lovato said her racy photos are not lesbian but pictures of her transsexual friends. Hollywood got all excited this week by the news that John Travolta will finally star in the long-awaited sequel to Grease. The fi...

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Funny story: "My Dog ate Someone Else's Bomb" Says Student Rioter

"My Dog ate Someone Else's Bomb" Says Student Rioter

A student rioter, named "Dan the Revolutionary", has claimed that a bomb found inside his dog does not belong to him. He said "just because the bomb was found inside my dog doesn't mean the bomb is mine. I'm a peaceful protester and I don't agree w...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin and John Boehner Accuse Trio (Santa Claus/Julian Assange/Barack Obama) of Planning a Sex Attack on Parliament on Christmas Eve Day; WikiLeaks, X Factor, Football to be Unaffected

Sarah Palin and John Boehner Accuse Trio (Santa Claus/Julian Assange/Barack Obama) of Planning a Sex Attack on Parliament on Christmas Eve Day; WikiLeaks, X Factor, Football to be Unaffected

Superfriends Sarah Palin and John Boehner believe they have figured out the "what", the "who", and the "when" -- but the "where" and the "how" remain sketchy. Palin: "I have a source of good intelligence who tells me that those three (Santa Claus,...

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Funny story: Illuminati dread at first winter solstice and total lunar eclipse since 1554!

Illuminati dread at first winter solstice and total lunar eclipse since 1554!

London - (Yule-Be-Sorry!): The mood is grim at Hellfire Club HQ ahead of Tuesday's solar ingress into Capricorn. Ancient files published this week describe the Illuminatis' rage of 1554 when some dimwit last dared leak their sordid secrets. The...

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Funny story: "Assange" added to dictionary

"Assange" added to dictionary

The verb "to assange" has been officially added to the Oxbridge English dictionary this week, in honour of the whiney attention-seeker Julian Assange. "To assange" is officially defined as "to act in a criminal manner and then to behave smugly and...

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Funny story: Assange buoyant as Putin vows "We do not rub out traitors..."

Assange buoyant as Putin vows "We do not rub out traitors..."

Norfolk/Suffolk Border - (Boy Oh Boy): Rumors of a Mad Vlad caveat "...because we always outsource to Mossad, heheh!" have done little to dent Julian Assange's mood. Persistent reports that the whistleblower was thrown out of the KGB 'by Putin him...

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Funny story: Leak Man Out

Leak Man Out

A Judge has risked his life by allowing Julian 'WikiLeaks' Assange out of prison on bail. Despite the efforts of the Crown Prosecution Service, working on behalf of Sweden and America, Assange was granted bail only on condition that he stayed in a ca...

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Funny story: Julian Assange to be extradited to Sweden

Julian Assange to be extradited to Sweden

Assange the WikiLeaks dude who is in trouble everywhere in the world was today granted bail in the UK high court. Ausi' born Assange is facing deportation for charges of a sexual nature committed in Sweden of all places. His lawyer said today: 'I...

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Funny story: Fishy cabal behind Assange bail bond release

Fishy cabal behind Assange bail bond release

London - (Bottomfeeders): Movie maker Ken Roach, investigative hack John Pilchard and Z-list celeb Jemima Kharp were named today as the usual suspects. The trio has provided Westmonster Magistrates Court with a £200,000 surety. This will see Ju...

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Funny story: The planets conspire to upstage Julian Assange bail appeal

The planets conspire to upstage Julian Assange bail appeal

London - (Winter Triangle): A Mercury-Mars-Pluto conjunction straddling Capricorn threatens to scupper the whistleblower's court appearance on Tuesday. The stunning triplicity occurs on the natal Sun/Mercury conjunction of a top UN war crimes pros...

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Funny story: Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

Wikileaks Posts Wikileaks Founder's Prison Escape Plan

LONDON - Wikileaks has published 57 linear feet of toilet paper detailing Julian Assange's high-tech plan to be broken out of London's Wandsworth prison. The plan consists of Assange apparently being officially transferred to another prison on M...

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Funny story: American Media Supports Jailed Free Speech Dissident, Jailing Free Speech Dissident

American Media Supports Jailed Free Speech Dissident, Jailing Free Speech Dissident

The American press is loudly calling for the release of jailed free speech activist and Nobel Peace Prize Winner Liu Xiaobo while at the same time calling for the jailing of Wikileaks founder and free speech activist Julian Assange. Xiaobo and As...

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Funny story: Some further Wikileaks released today

Some further Wikileaks released today

Well, the Wikileaks just keep on coming! In a new revelation that was declared brand new, some new leaks have been Wikied: President Ihavea Nodinnajaquet of Iran: A 2009 cable between the USA and the rest of the world (except Iran) declared that the president was actually as crazy of a box of frogs. On fire. And without legs. Ann Widdecombe, star of scream and stage, is in the running to...

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Funny story: Wiki-Leaked: Assange diaries published on Internet

Wiki-Leaked: Assange diaries published on Internet

The phrase "hit em where it hurts" has never been so applicable. Or, as the Global Governments have decided, they're serving a dish best served cold... on Julian Assange. Tired of having their private lives splashed on the Internet; tired of revel...

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Funny story: Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund

Mastercarb Now Offers Julian Assange Defense Fund

For no apparent reason, and flatly denying that the creation of the web page and donation button had anything to do with its recent shut down by Julian Assange backed hackers, Mastercarb is now offering a way to send a charge transaction directly to...

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