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Funny satire stories about John Terry

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Funny story: Toni Terry's shockhorror at anagram ouija board's "Venereal sons crap" and "Col. Lechery"

Toni Terry's shockhorror at anagram ouija board's "Venereal sons crap" and "Col. Lechery"

Dubai - (Portents): An unexpected twist on the 'Mirror, Mirror, off-the-wall' soothsaying charm has seen John Terry's wife Toni gobsmacked yet again. The Chelsea captain's wife has been consulting psychics ahead of a possible Valentines Day reuni...

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Funny story: John Terry - Redeeming feature found!

John Terry - Redeeming feature found!

A crack team of hand-picked scientists have made a surprising breakthrough after police called an end to their search for some form of redeeming feature relating to John Terry. Over 100 officers armed with sniffer dogs and metal detectors have bee...

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Funny story: John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish

John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish

John Terry, the Chelsea and former England football team captain, has told friends he is almost as sorry for shagging Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend, as Frenchman Thierry Henry said he was for handling the ball in the build-up to France's goal in the W...

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Funny story: Chelsea captain's missus sends him £125 divorce advice voucher for Valentine's

Chelsea captain's missus sends him £125 divorce advice voucher for Valentine's

Khor Fakkhan, Dubai - (Nuptial Mess): The solicitors' voucher was a runaway success at its December launch last year when hundreds were given and/or received by warring marrieds in need of some friendly legal advice. This week, as she tans her tri...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel flees Surrey home ahead of Toni Terry homecoming

Vanessa Perroncel flees Surrey home ahead of Toni Terry homecoming

London - (Penalty Box): Next week's expected Toni Terry homecoming has proved a Wayne Bridge too far for the dark-haired French beauty. A £750K redundancy payoff from ex-lover John Terry has seen Vanessa Perroncel leg it from Chelsea FC's very own...

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Funny story: Terry's All Gold for Valentines Day

Terry's All Gold for Valentines Day

Sales of chocolates specifically Terry's All Gold have gone through the roof since the stories regarding former England team captain John Terry. Supermarkets throughout the country are reporting record sales of Terry's All Gold and are having to orde...

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Funny story: John Terry Ruled Out For Two Weeks With Groin Strain

John Terry Ruled Out For Two Weeks With Groin Strain

More bad news for Chelsea today as under-siege club captain John Terry was ruled out for up to two weeks with a groin strain. Tempers became frayed and club officials grew exasperated as a horde of reporters who don't usually cover football matche...

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Funny story: Britain tipped back into recession by John Terry: Claims Darling!

Britain tipped back into recession by John Terry: Claims Darling!

Chancellor of The Exchequer, Alistair Darling tonight gave a hurried news conference to leading Financial Journalists on the doorstep of No.11 Downing Street. Darling today received the latest GDP figures and wanted to explain that the sheer amoun...

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Funny story: Hidden numerology of John Terry £137k fraud trial

Hidden numerology of John Terry £137k fraud trial

London - (Pseudomathematics): An ancient occult divination system behind the secret science of hidden credit card numbers will be laid bare before Southwark Crown Court this week. In the dock is Chelsea captain John Terry's 'old mucker' Faisal Mad...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel - Is It Because I Is French?

Vanessa Perroncel - Is It Because I Is French?

French lingerie model Vanessa Perroncel, the undisputed Queen of the UK tabloids sparked further controversy today when she appeared to suggest that the John Terry sex scandal would have had far less further reaching implications had she not been a F...

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Funny story: Team Brazil Says That They Want No Part Of Alleged Womanizer John Terry

Team Brazil Says That They Want No Part Of Alleged Womanizer John Terry

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - The Brazilian national soccer team has just announced that they are no longer negotiating to trade for Chelsea and England star John Terry. A spokesman for Team Brazil Gustavo De La Mantequilla said that the last thing th...

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Funny story: Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Fabio Capello today proudly announced the name of the next English football captain today after relieving John Terry of the responsibility. It's none other than the star of classic TV show 'Rio Plays For Laughs' - Rio Ferdinand. The youth of En...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Reports are flooding into my office tonight stating that John Terry has been sensationally sacked as England football captain by no nonsense head coach Fabio Capello. At this point I am still waiting for confirmation, as is the case with reports that...

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Funny story: John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

After days of rampant speculation, it is now official, John Terry, is no longer the captain of Coach Fabio Capello's England team. Capello speaking in front of hundreds of reporters from all over the world, including Alaska, Borneo, and Phoenix, s...

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Funny story: Jordan - No JT Cock Shocker

Jordan - No JT Cock Shocker

Celebrity glamour girl and home made interweb porno star Jordan, also known as Katie Over-Priced, has today revealed that she has never had a fumble with shamed England captain John Terrence. This has come as somewhat of a shock to the sports and...

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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel, the model at the centre of the John Terry Scandal, has spoken out today in a French newspaper interview, claiming that Mr Terry's penis is not as big as people would think, and "nothing to write home about". Perroncel is the for...

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Funny story: Toni Terry WAGs It Up In Dubai

Toni Terry WAGs It Up In Dubai

Friends of Toni Terry, the wife of sex scandal plagued Chelsea and England captain John, who has allegedly been putting it about a bit, say that Mrs Terry appears relaxed and happy in Dubai as she contemplates where her marriage goes from here. I...

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