Famed Nostradamus scholar, Dr. Bernard Woolybottom, has revealed that Nostradamus predicted Sanjaya Malakar as the winner of American Idol 2007.
The world's longest tunnel, which the Swiss have dug through the Alps, is being hailed as the 'feat of the 21st century' even though the 21st century still has some way to go. This has angered a lot of people.
Amid the "should I go or should I stay" drama - Simon Cowell of the dreadful, shocking and sometimes also suicidal "American Idols" show has changed his mind and IS STAYING to torment further "future superstars in the making".
When I looked into my crystal ball to see the future, I saw a 25th century Ark.
Candidate for PrezMinister, lift operator ET McCrone, has made a campaign promise to wear a gas bag until election day and if elected for his entire unknown term of office (unknown since there has never been a PrezMinister, leader of the USUK), I,ET McCrone will collect all of my methane. And believe me, just ask the future Mistress of USUK,McCrone's proposed title for the PrezMinister's...
London - (Riotous): As it blazes a trail across the London early evening sky Comet McNaught is playing havoc with the hordes of millennium soothsayers, seers and interpreters of the splayed regal intestines who predicted Hellfire Club glory in 2007 w...
In a surprising move, the Society of Mind-Altering Drugs Marketing Alliance National (MADMAN) publicly announced their past, present, and future marketing campaigns, which had remained a closely guarded industry secret for decades. The psychiatric dr...
Now that Dick Cheney has come out in public and said he would never accept Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice as his future Vice President, she has been looking around for a change of career.
KANSAS CITY - Executives of Hallmark, American Greetings, and other greeting card publishers all had a common theme at this year's annual convention: the mass retirement of seventy percent of their poets within the next four years.
You know, I’ve never really given much thought to the future because I’ve always just planned on marrying a movie star and leeching off her my entire life. It’s always seemed like a good deal to me--she gets her power, independence, fame, etc, and I get to sleep in and watch the Spice Channel. Most men view women’s equality as threatening, but I disagree because I’ve never looked forward to...
After a large number of clients began committing suicide, howamidoing.com, a future email service, came up with a new host of services for their clients, the company announced Monday at a press conference.
PHILADELPHIA-NFL Eagles fallen star running back Terrell Owens' forced public apology to teammates after maligning QB Donovan McNabb put the gridiron world on its ear and placed a large ominous question mark over the future of T.O., dubbed ‘Terminall...
Nashville -- Having "accidentally" discovered the light bulb of the future on his first try, Vanderbilt graduate student Michael Bowers tried an additional 1300 ways to construct his breakthrough "bulb" which consists of a blue L...
Cadillac, Michigan---General Motors is planning to make and sell the car of the future now meaning Today. It is a full featured spiffed up, spit and polish model with shiny gold hub caps and tinted glass visors for those who love the concept of tota...
Washington -- "There's power in words," says former FEMA Chief Michael Brown, "The ones you put on your resume' can determine your future. Starting today I'll be offering my talents and experience at crafting resume's...
In an exclusive interview granted to this reporter, Tom Siebel, shy and reclusive pint-sized chairman of Siebel Systems Inc, outlines his company’s history and hopes for the future. “We’re ready for the big time now” says Tom… The Customer Relationship Management software world was set alight recently by the news that Siebel 7.8 would soon be on general availability. This latest version o...
After intense negotiations between the NHL and the NHL Player's Association broke down, the prospect for hockey in the near future seem dim. The cancellation of the National Hockey League's season has caused ripple effects across the world. Whi...
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