TALLAHASSEE, Florida (ABSNN) - The Florida Secretary of State certified today that Barack Obama won the state's election by a razor-thin margin of 74,000 votes. Tea Party freshman Congressman, Allen West, was defeated by fewer than 3,000 votes b...
OCALA, Florida (ABSNN) - The National Chapter of Zombies USA, or ZUSA, overwhelmingly endorsed Mitt Romney for President today. According to ZUSA officials "our membership voted 6710 to 47 in favor endorsing Mitt Romney over Barack Obama in the upco...
Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...
DAYTONA BEACH, Florida - NASCAR first came into being in 1947, when it was organized by Bill France. The auto racing giant now sanctions over 1,500 races in over 40 states including the countries of Switzerland, Cambodia, and Bolivia. NASCAR Vi...
SANFORD, Florida - Well it appears that The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has come to Sanford. Just when it seems that the Zimmerman Saga could not get any weirder, Georgy Porgy's wife Shellie "Belly" Zimmerman comes out of the wo...
Miami (SAPP) - As reported on May 27, the National Hurricane Center (NHC) in Miami has changed the list of hurricane names for the 2012 season to generic names. As done in previous years, each name will be used in alphabetical order. See the previous story for the rationale behind the new list of hurricane names. Here is the complete list: Atta boy Bro Chick Dude EBT Card Friend...
A Clearwater, Florida woman who switched her baby with another woman's is now suing the other woman for 18 trillion dollars. The woman, Fredrika Five-Fingers, claims the kid from the other woman has caused her 20 years of heartache and financial los...
In his first interview, one with a Spoof reporter, the bear discussed the recent time he spent mingling with humans. "Nothing to write home about," he said, "if I could write, that is. Frankly, I'll be glad to get back to the wild." The bear ha...
Sanford, FL - In a bombshell press conference yesterday, defense attorneys Hal Uhrig and Craig Sonner revealed to the press that their former client, George Zimmerman, had spoken with Fox News commentator Sean Hannity. That same evening, Hannity too...
SANFORD, FL - Voice analysis experts examining audio evidence in the Trayvon Martin case have determined that the voice heard yelling for "help" in the 911 calls likely belonged to Trayvon Martin, and not George Zimmerman. In response, Sanford Polic...
TALLAHASSEE -- The Florida State Legislature on Friday granted the newly recognized Swamp Ape corporate tribe the lucrative I-75 "Alligator Alley" concessions contract, but the Seminole Tribe will be retained to provide labor. The Seminoles salva...
On CNN his morning, GOP frontrunner Mitt-in-the-Mouth Romney tells presenter Solidad O'Brian that the concept of 'poor' is not within his vocabulary or comprehension. "I have never met a poor person," he admitted, "Where do they live? Are they ne...
In the Florida's Everglades National Park an alien species of python, the Burmese version, attempted to swallow an alligator whole, in its entirety and still alive. The python measured 3,9 metres and the alligator a mere 6 foot (1,9 metres), an un...
Poking her uninvited nose into one more media hype cycle, Sarah Palin has announced her staunch support of fellow conservative, Newt Gingrich, just in time for the Florida primary. With a political win-loss record of 0-2, Palin somehow felt that h...
Emerging like a Phoenix in South Carolina after his second wife dropped the infidelity bomb on him, Newt Gingrich is now lobbying Tiger Woods for campaign support in Florida, says "they're kindred spirits". Referring to Tiger's ability to launch a...
Everyone has heard of the Yeti, the hairy bipedal creature who is said to live in the colder regions on Earth. While scientists can't say for certain if the Yeti actually exists, they have come to the conclusion that there is such a creature as the...
A 72 year Florida woman made the purchase of a lifetime recently when she bought a rare painting that could fetch as much as three hundred cents at auction.The painting is one of only six known in existence and the lucky lady found the treasure at a...
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