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Funny story: Gov't acts after freak pants fire tragedy

Gov't acts after freak pants fire tragedy

Following the tragic death of a Maldon pensioner in a freak incontinence pants conflagration, the gov't today acted with new regulations effective immediately. Under the: Pants Incontinence Safety, Security Order Fire/Frost provisions of the 2008...

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Funny story: Bonfire caused fires

Bonfire caused fires

LONDON WESTMINSTER - Westminster police said a weekend wildfire that destroyed 210 homes and an Indian take away was caused by a bonfire built by Guy Fawkes and his group of young arsonists. Detective inspector Bill Flame said Tuesday that the 10...

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Funny story: London Taxi Fires Explained

London Taxi Fires Explained

Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse was today able to reveal the mysterious cause of recent black cab fires in London. "After extensive research and interviews with drivers I can now reveal the cause of the hitherto unexplained events." said Pro...

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Funny story: London Black Cabs Fires Are Start Of 'The Rise Of The Machines'

London Black Cabs Fires Are Start Of 'The Rise Of The Machines'

London's famous Black Cabs are deliberately setting themselves on fire and taking copycat action in, what the capital's top policeman Sir Ian Blair is calling, Taximeter 3: The Rise Of The Machines. Commissioner Blair, that one who is in racism t...

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Funny story: Channel Tunnel Fire Horror!

Channel Tunnel Fire Horror!

Near disaster in the channel tunnel was averted earlier today, when a lorry carrying highly flammable materials, burst into flames. Under normal circumstances, vehicles carrying flammable liquids are not allowed entry to the tunnel, but the lorry...

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Funny story: Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Following Tuesday morning's fire which destroyed Fleetwood's historic pier, causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage, Lancashire Police announced the arrest of over 350 suspected arsonists. At a press conference this afternoon, a representative...

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Funny story: Arse Fire Causes Pounds Worth Of Damage

Arse Fire Causes Pounds Worth Of Damage

A 12-year-old boy has been taken to hospital with horrific burns after blowing up a petrol can whilst breaking wind. The accident happened in the Black Country town of Tipton, near Dudley, where the boy, along with his cousin, was having a Fart-li...

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Funny story: Weston-Super-Mare Fire Investigators File Report

Weston-Super-Mare Fire Investigators File Report

Forensic experts investigating the devastating fire at Weston-Super-Mare which destroyed the Grand Pier, say the blaze was almost certainly caused by the unfortunate coming-together of three crucial elements - fuel, heat and oxygen. The fire ravag...

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Funny story: The Sharon Stone Song Book

The Sharon Stone Song Book

Here are the 10 songs in Hollywood actress and seismologist Sharon Stone's personally chosen album, for singing round the fire during those long winter earthquakes: * 'Instant Karma's Going To Get You', John Lenin * 'The Lava Is Blowing In The Wind', Bob Dylan * 'Sergeant Sharon's Lonely Brain Cell Band', The Beatles * 'The Chinese Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Immoral Earthquakes', Juli...

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Funny story: Some Whore's Fire Problems

Some Whore's Fire Problems

Dirty Central, Alabama - The Deputy Sheriff, Sergeant Piggers, has said a giant fire has amassed near a slew of mobile home trailers at 8pm, endangering every concerned property owner in the area.

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Funny story: Mysterious Fire At Bunsen Burner factory

Mysterious Fire At Bunsen Burner factory

Police are investigating a mysterious fire, which destroyed a factory in Flint, Michigan, which produces Bunsen burners for schools and laboratories.

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Funny story: Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom Cruise hex

Universal Studios arson blamed on Tom Cruise hex

California - (Smouldering Mess): A Tom Cruise hex has been blamed for the suspected arson attack on Universal Studios.

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Funny story: Man Drowns After Wooden Leg Catches Fire

Man Drowns After Wooden Leg Catches Fire

British fire authorities have called for a full investigation following the drowning death of a seventy year old pensioner who was hosed down by as many as four "overzealous" fire units after his prosthetic leg caught fire.

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Funny story: Bournemouth bans fire extinguishers as a danger to fires

Bournemouth bans fire extinguishers as a danger to fires

Very sensible risk assessors in Bournemouth - known as 'Wrinkly City' - have decided that fire extinguishers are to be banned from high rise flats in the city.

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Funny story: James Hetfield of Metallica Joins Guns N' Roses For Special Reunion Tour

James Hetfield of Metallica Joins Guns N' Roses For Special Reunion Tour

Metallica rock icon James Hetfield is joining forces with Axl Rose and the Gun N' Roses guys for a special once-off reunion tour staring in Montreal on June 18t...

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Funny story: New Department for Arson announced today

New Department for Arson announced today

As councils throughout the country struggle to pay councillors expenses, send them on junkets to far flung lands, and settle huge PFI finance debts to parasitic outsourcers, a lifeline has been thrown to them by the Government with the establishment...

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Funny story: Millions Burn To Death During Earth Hour

Millions Burn To Death During Earth Hour

(Philadelphia PA) Millions of Americans perished in flames during Earth Hour. The hour was meant to get people to conserve energy and fuel but it only led to an agonizing death for 299 million people across the country.

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