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Funny satire stories about Fat

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Funny story: Sherri Shepherd: Pictures of Hubby Having Sex Confused Me

Sherri Shepherd: Pictures of Hubby Having Sex Confused Me

Sherri Shepherd, the amorphous blob best known for firing bean farts into Star Jones' old chair on ABC's The View, announced in divorce court today that she found photos of her husband having sex with another woman. "At first, I didn't know what...

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Funny story: Subo-Frankenstein; or, The Future is Sewer Fat Filled Celebrity Shaped

Subo-Frankenstein; or, The Future is Sewer Fat Filled Celebrity Shaped

Thames Water, the London-based Filth Farming Firm, has reported record fat harvests this season. The company's Fat Force - their fat-harvesting workers otherwise known as the Lard Legion - have been working overtime in the sewers beneath Leicester...

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Funny story: 600 lb. Mother of Two: "I'm gonna gain until I hit 1,000 lbs."

600 lb. Mother of Two: "I'm gonna gain until I hit 1,000 lbs."

Donna Simpson, 42, weighs more than 600 pounds, and aims to reach 1,000 pounds. The mother of 2, ages 3 and 14, who reportedly sweats Ranch dressing, models on a porn website where admirers and the holy-smokes-you're-a-damned-freak curious can pay...

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Funny story: Gelatinous, Useless Big Boobed Orange Midget Spotted Dancing With Mother in Deptford, NJ Club.

Gelatinous, Useless Big Boobed Orange Midget Spotted Dancing With Mother in Deptford, NJ Club.

By the way, everyone knows that she is 100% Chilean, right? I mean, she was adopted by an Italian family. That doesn't make her Italian. Hated Italian stereotype Nicole "Snooki" "Fat F-ck" Polizzi, the self proclaimed "Guidette" from Marlboro, New...

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Funny story: California Governor Under Fire for Anti-Fattie Law

California Governor Under Fire for Anti-Fattie Law

Los Angeles, CA - California is another state to recently take issue with a growing problem and aim legislation at it. Lest you think illegal immigrants are the problem, however, that is not the number one concern with Californians. No, California ha...

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Funny story: Duncan-Smith declares war on benefit 'fatties'

Duncan-Smith declares war on benefit 'fatties'

Ian Duncan Smith has launched a scathing attack on benefit claimants whom he described as mostly fat semi-criminals with aspirations no higher than finding the remote control or takeaway menu. Meanwhile he derided the activities of the more able as '...

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Funny story: Fat Slob Carefully Plots Next Move After Running Out of Beer

Fat Slob Carefully Plots Next Move After Running Out of Beer

Russell "Buddy" Jenkins hoisted himself out of his lawn chair to dig for another beer but all he found was some partially melted ice and a few empties. "I knew we were drinkin at a good pace, but I was shocked to find out that we finished off a 30...

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Funny story: Former Chiefs Of Staff Calling American Youth Too Fat Beaten Half To Death By Two Fat Teens

Former Chiefs Of Staff Calling American Youth Too Fat Beaten Half To Death By Two Fat Teens

After a recent report from two former Chiefs of Staff, retired Generals that American youths were becoming too fat to fight, both John Shalikashvili and Hugh Shelton had the shit beat out of them by two 300-pound 18-year-olds yesterday. Although t...

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Funny story: Fat Baby Born To Fat Parents

Fat Baby Born To Fat Parents

An overweight woman in Doncaster has given birth to a fat baby. Her husband is also a chubby lardass. Sharon Needadiet, 35, gave birth to Harry by caesarian section because she was too large to fit on a normal operating table. Harry weighed in at 13l...

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Funny story: America isn't full of obese people

America isn't full of obese people

In an explosive article that's sure to rock the rest of the World, Professor Jules von Liebentrop has categorically stated that 10 years of research in a pizza parlour has been worthwhile public spending. The USA is in fact full of morbidly obese...

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Funny story: Twinkies "Might Be Fattening"

Twinkies "Might Be Fattening"

It has finally been publicly announced that the signature cream filled sponge cake product Twinkies, "might be fattening," (along with Ding Dongs, Snoballs, and fruit pies.) The revelation came as a shock to dieticians and health care profession...

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Funny story: New book says you're fat

New book says you're fat

Noam Chomsky introduced his new book today at a gathering at the neighborhood Why Not market. Chomsky opened the talk with "Why not the Why Not?" and further described the market is where words are evolving daily. Here where a large means a sma...

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Funny story: Fat is the new thin

Fat is the new thin

Models, celebrities and serial dieters around the world were today seen panic buying lard and deep fat fryers as a survey of 10 billion people worldwide has found that skinny is sooooooooo last season. Milan catwalks are to be filled with plus si...

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Funny story: Government plan to beat obesity by 'beating up the obese'

Government plan to beat obesity by 'beating up the obese'

Secretary of state for health Andy Burnham yesterday outlined government plans to tackle the rising obesity problem by giving the obese 'a damn good kicking'. 'For years now the government and the department of health have championed the benefits...

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Funny story: Dr Dolittle talks to Larry the Lobster

Dr Dolittle talks to Larry the Lobster

Dr Dolittle talks to Larry the Lobster in a seafood restaurant in San Francisco just half an hour before he was due to be served up for dinner. "What's it like being a lobster?" Asked Dr Dolittle. "Its OK," said Larry, "but I do miss my Mum And Dad, I was swimming away quite happily the other day when all of a sudden I was scooped up in a net along with a lot of other Lobsters and brought t...

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Funny story: Passenger Told To Get Off Plane Cause He Is Just Too Damn Fat!

Passenger Told To Get Off Plane Cause He Is Just Too Damn Fat!

OAKLAND - Passenger X-103 aka Kevin Smith is angry, upset, fit to be tied, and so pissed off that he could eat a horse literally. Smith who works as a food taster for The Fallopian Food Company of Sausalito, California said that he purchased his t...

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Funny story: Annoying, fat, Scouse woman on Deal or No Deal drives angry viewers to watch Midsomer Murders instead

Annoying, fat, Scouse woman on Deal or No Deal drives angry viewers to watch Midsomer Murders instead

Daytime TV viewers were up in arms today after self righteous, gnome Noel Edmonds, chose an irritating lump of lard from Liverpool to be the contestant on Deal Or No Deal. Fans of the show took an immediate dislike to her and reached for their rem...

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