Goodbye Jerusalem's Queen, Though I never knew you at all You had a fantastic arse Those around all agreed They crawled up your butt cheeks And whispered into your brain "Do you mind if I shoot my load?' And they made you do it again. And it seems to me you lived your life Like a poofter in the wind Never knowing who to cling to When the urge set in And I would have liked to bum you...
And Jesus did enter into James' house and didst say unto him "You are my beloved. I love you more than any of the other guys who I hang around with." And James did blush at the words of Jesus. For James did worship Jesus and did regularly go down on his knees before him. They went to James' bedroom and they did remain there for three whole days. On the third day they rose, as if from the dea...
Elton John has made the sensational claim that Jesus was gay in a controversial interview for a magazine in the USA. Elton said "I think Jesus was a super compassionate,super intelligent gay man who understood human problems" The Bible Bashers...
After Elton John claimed that Jesus was a gay man in an interview he did for some magazine called Parade - not the British wank mag from the nineties but an American Sunday newspaper magazine apparently - Jesus has hit back in some quotations...
HOLLYWOOD - Lady Gaga opened The 52nd Grammy Awards Show along with Sir Elton John. They performed the Elton John song "Tiny Dancer" and dedicated it to rap artist Lil Kim who stands 4 foot 3. Lady Gaga and Lady Haha then performed a second song,...
Observers report that the dress rehearsal for the 23-year-old Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta and the 62-year-old Reginald Kenneth Dwight went quite smoothly. At first the performers were quite formal with each other, so the form of address...
Watford FC today declared themselves to be in state of 'fucked up' after admitting the club may soon go into administration should they not raise the funds needed to stay alive. Former club owner, and fudge-packer, Sir Elton John has declared his...
After the tragic death of Sarah MacNamara's pet budgerigar this week in Liverpool, Sir Elton Swan released this song as a tribute to the People's Budgie: 'Budgie In The Wind Goodbye Scallywag Though I never knew you at all You had the grace to preen yourself And chase a wee toy ball Cat sneaked out of the shadows And made a grab for your wing You flew back to the kitchen And still c...
Popular crooner Sir Elton John has announced a new Gay Condolence Service aimed at people with Gay friends or relatives that have passed away. For a mere $500 you can have a headline "Elton Devastated At John Smith's death" published in the Tablo...
At the death of Princess Diana, Musician Elton John rewrote his song "Candle in the Wind" as "Goodbye England's Rose." In response to the opinions of several blowhards recently, the singer has rewritten the song as "Farting Into The Wind." The song...
Mediocre song writing "talent" Elton John has hit back at the tabloid media who have criticized his and partner David Furnish's effort to adopt Ukranian orphan Lev. In a heated interview on day-time telly-show "Tomorrow's Morning." Elton slammed...
Popular entertainer Reg Dwight - better known as Sir Elton John - will continue his mission to adopt, despite his harsh treatment by the Ukrainian authorities, who branded him "too old" and "too queer" to purchase 14-month old orphan Lev. "Elton i...
Mr & Mr Elton John, or is it Sir Elton and Lady David, or should it have been Mr & Mr David Furnish - anyway - doesn't matter now. For the Ukraine has declared that the "marriage" is invalid (3 cheers for the Ukraine!) and because of a lit...
Elton John and his husband David Furnish are to become parents for the first time. They are to adopt Angela Jolie and Brad Pitt's brood. Brad called Elton when he heard that the 62-year-old English singer wants to adopt a 14-month-old Ukrainian b...
Buttcrack, N.J. - Sir Elton John, famed British pop star, has opened a fudge packing plant in New Jersey, hoping to cash in on the fudge craze that sweeps down the Atlantic coast during the hot summer months. "My wife and I," Sir Elton stated, "..
The National Space Centre in Surrey will be closing it's doors for the final time at the end of July. "It's a catastrophe," said long time space buff, Elton John. "Where will I get the space I need for my expansive wardrobe now?" Elton has long...
Elton John's brother made a statement on national television that he is jealous of Saudi Arabian men because they have four wives in their marriage. Elton John's brother nick named "Lonely Willy" said he has been a homosexual since the age of sev...
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