Keystone, South Dakota - The Mount Rushmore National Memorial was severely damaged last night by a missile fired by a US military drone. The attack apparently was commissioned by Congress in what is now being called "a clerical error." "Our bad,"...
The US economy, only now beginning to recover from the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, was dealt another financial tsunami this morning when Hostess CEO, Gregory Rayburn announced that Irving Texas based Hostess has filed a motion with the U.S. Bankr...
Never one to rest on his preposterous hairstyle, Donald Trump has announced his strategy to end the Global Economic slowdown. On the back of his outstanding commercial success on the east coast of Scotland, Trump is now ready to unveil his next stag...
In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...
Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...
Washington DC - According to Miss Adelle Bowersocks 1232C Upswine Gardens, Romney is not really drinking diet soda, as he appears to be. Miss Adelle was cleaning up after a $200,000.00 a plate dinner when she tasted what appeared to be left over die...
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
U.S. college graduates, fed up with the job market and slow economy, have began wiping their asses with their diplomas in protest. The nationwide protests, known as the "Univershitty Protests," have spread online via social networks as th...
A leaked government document has revealed the coalitions plans to reduce our countries benefits bill. The solution? Bung the poor and needy into newly established workhouses. Government officials reckon all the UK's economic problems would be s...
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, who has faced pressure from Democrats to make public his federal tax returns from the past ten years, finally revealed that the reason for his refusal to release any returns from prior to 2010 is that he n...
Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
Mitt Romney today demonstrated a profound sense of the moment and just how severely in touch he can be with his audience in a speech before the U.S. Dressage Federation summer convention being held in the Cayman Islands over the past two months. It w...
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
Omaha, Nebraska - America's frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million private sector jobs. "At 1:09 AM, Greenwich Mean Ti...
Mitt Romney, speaking in front of the National Society for Effective Consumerism last Sunday, outlined his plan for a U.S. response to the European debt crisis. "I mean really, dealing with this debt issue in Europe would be a piece of cake," sa...
The US Navy has this problem with clocks. And to be fair, we can't blame the gobs out there chipping the paint. That's navy life. Earlier this month, the spoof scooped the potato, the carrot AND the onion.com's when the International Dateline malfunctioned and the US Navy responded with force to escort June in. The spoof's spook speaks time and again! But would anyone listen? Now it tu...
Hope, Texas - Julie and Barney Thompson were about to end it all. Thirty-seven years of backbreaking work, raising four children and volunteering for everything - from helping the search for lost kids to endless spaghetti dinner fundraisers for sick friends and neighbors to burying their parents out back - all down the drain. Time had caught up with them and was about to run them over. His Dad...
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