As Great Britain woke up after its extra day off they were hit by 2 earthquakes. The first was registered in Yorkshire and measured 3.6 on the Richter scale, caused hardly any harm or structural damage, but Grannies who were thrown out of their be...
Earthquake hits northern England. Tremors felt for miles around. A small earthquake hit northern England today. Takwana Smith and friend Anitakapta Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, were just sitting down to lunch at their favourite restaurant in Morrisons, Berwick Hills branch. Our reporter was inside the store following up on an unrelated story when the 'quake hit. When things...
Cumbria - (Tremors): The 3.5 quake rattled much of the Lake District today as locals blamed Druidic hankypanky on the Winter solstice for the tremor that shook their peaceful habitat. The tremor's epicentre was identified as being some 8.9 miles u...
Pacific Ocean - (Tremors): A Winter solstice delirium tremens hit South Eastern Iran today. The 7.4 magnitude quake near the holy city of Bam also triggered a seismic tipple - er...ripple!- effect that battered Japan's Bonin Isles 1,000 km south o...
Organisers of the Pakistan flood appeal, which will help in providing much-needed essentials for those affected by the terrible flooding in the country, say that progress has been 'extremely sluggish', and latest figures seem to suggest that practica...
Iran - (Shaikh, Rattle & Roll-over): Stargazers monitoring Iranian airspace paths of the annual Perseid meteor shower are gobsmacked. The cosmic lightshow emanating from the constellation Persia is wreaking havoc with Tuesday's new moon, hera...
Mr Leonardo Smith, 27, has seen his life's work destroyed in an earthquake. The Earthquake only measured 0.7 on the Richter scale, but the artist works solely on Etch a Sketches. The retro 80's favourite was seen as a fore-runner for many graphic...
Although the flow of oil has been cut off finally according to BP Oil officials, there is still much to deal with in the future, in fact the history of the United States. "Most people have heard about our earlier warnings about the Gulf floor shi...
Washington AC/DC - (Snake-in-the-Grass News): The ubiquitous 'Did the earth move for you, darlin'?' took on a new, troubling meaning today shortly after 5.04am EDT. A 3.6 tremor epicentered on the White House Queen's Bedroom was felt as far away a...
Gulf of Mexico - (Apocalyptic Mess): The US Geological Survey has issued a tsunami warning ahead of a widely anticipated Havana earthquake on Fidel Castro's 13 August birthday. The tremor monitoring agency says such a quake could lift the billions...
EL CENTRO, California - The California-Mexico border was rumbled with an earthquake measuring 5.1 on the Richter Scale. The daytime dispatcher for the El Centro Police Department, Orion Orville Fragglefaust, Jr., said that there were reports of so...
JAKARTA - A powerful 7.4 earthquake has hit the Northern Sumatra area of Indonesian causing some damage to buildings, homes, some fast food restaurants, a huge piñata factory, and 14 whorehouses. Hung Fufi Maliwan, III, a part-time meteorologist w...
It has been brought to my attention that a certain Western young woman of sadly limited intellectual abilities has endeavored to call into question the unquestionable revealed truth relating to the link between earthquakes and immodesty expressed in my recent article in the Chicago Tribune, and this by means of an ill-judged "experiment" involving the massive display of so-called "tits" at various...
HOFN, Iceland - In a classic example of a 'bad news - good news' story, Iceland has just been hit with a powerful 9.7 magnitude earthquake. The quake only lasted 55 seconds, but it was enough to cause the volcano Eyjafjallajokull, that has been sp...
A loony Iranian Cleric has accused young promiscuous Iranian females for causing earthquakes in Iran! The slightly disturbed cleric named, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi (says it all actually) claims that when Iranian women show their hairy, unshaven...
A member of staff working with The Large Hadron Collider, has turned Whistleblower, and advised that he overheard a conversation with two senior executives that he was not supposed to hear. The Informer claims that the two executives, were looking...
TEHRAN: A senior and very impotent Iranian cleric who heads the Ministry of Erectile Dysfunction appeared before the media and blamed dolled-up women for arousing sexual desires in men thus leading to earthquakes; Ayatollah Cantgetitup insisted th...
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