CRAWFORD, Texas - President Bush in light of the amazingly horrible state of the economy was asked while spending the weekend at his Texas home located on his Lazy Bar B Arrogant Longhorn Ranch how in the civilized world he can justify continuing the...
I'm not really worried about the credit crunch, or the world banking crisis, because I'm financially insolvent anyway. So what does all this mean to me? Nothing. Zilch. Because if you don't have nothing, then there's nothing anybody can take away from you. So don't worry, be happy, just pretend that half your nation's GDP has been well invested by city suited types who (allegedly) d...
Washington President Bush today managed to grab for himself part of the media attention surrounding the tentative bi-partisan agreement on the so-called bailout plan by explaining to the gathered Washington press corps just how he intends to finance...
Washington DC-- Congress was faced with the biggest challenge in generations over the weekend and decided to look away at the last minute. No one wanted to write a check for $700 billion! After a weekend of threats and tears, House Speaker Nancy Pel...
Chicago/Sun Times - Responding to constituents' cries for cash to get through the week, the Presidential Candidate pledged relief by announcing a new chain of pawn shops will open in Major cities in the US backed by a coalition of Democratic Mayors...
Washington,DC/ Wall Street Journal - Secretary of the Treasury, Henry Paulson, today proposed a national lottery to dispose of a significant amount of sub prime mortgages in default. Paulson's plan would mandate that state lotteries no longer use...
Legendary actor, philanthropist, and all-round good guy Paul Newman has died at age 83 from complications due to cancer and clogged arteries as a result of a lifetime of red meat consumption. He was well-known for his classic quip, "Why go out for ha...
Alastair Darling was disappointed when his plan to revive the UK economy failed late on Friday. "I had 4 numbers on the Euromillions and 1 lucky star." said Alastair. "If I had got the other main number and another lucky star we'd have been laughi...
In the wake of the economic meltdown Americans are flocking in droves to Mexico. Mexican drug cartels, farmers, and unions are fed up with Americans taking jobs such as drug trafficking, grape picking, and dishwashing. Mr. Harley B. Davidson s...
Following lengthy investigations, the cause of the Worldwide Credit Crunch has been traced to a chip shop in Carlisle. Its been discovered that the shop's owner, Mongoe Gongoe, has been selling his chips for only 3p per bag with free ketchup! M...
Mumbai - Broker Ashwini Gujral advised small investors to keep their calm, even as Sensex plunged by another 400 points today. "Small investors need not panic every time there is a sharp fall in the markets. Leave the panic to professionals like u...
For most of us at the moment the 'credit crunch' is dictating our spending habits, and forcing us to be more careful with our money. As fuel prices continue to rise and energy bills soar there is a need for many to seek additional means of income, fr...
Washington, DC - Since Friday, after Bush authorized the U.S. Treasury Dept. to print the nation's first-time ever one trillion-dollar bill to bailout Wall Street robber barons, Republicans and Democrats have been meeting behind closed doors, negotia...
The bank of England today announced it would be holding a car boot sale to raise much needed funds. Punters would be able to purchase items ranging from pens on chains to an ATM machine. Bank chairman Sir Alfred P. Moneybags said "We believe we...
The newspapers are all writing about it, the TV and radio stations are full of people talking about it, housewives are all chinwagging about it, and business people are all afraid of it. But new research suggests that the popular Credit Crunch is...
The near collapse of the Halifax Building Society this week has had a big effect on bespectacled employee Howard Thingy this week. The employee who was plucked from the obscurity of cashiers desk to become a singing sensation for the many tedious...
Washington, DC - Try avoiding a car accident or having to file a homeowners insurance claim. Or any claim altogether for that matter, even at all personal cost to yourself or especially that of your family. As now, after the Fed takeover of AIG (the...
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