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Funny satire stories about Chelsea FC

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Funny story: Chelsea F.C Looking for new home

Chelsea F.C Looking for new home

Chelsea Football club are looking into a move away from their Stadium Stamford Bridge and are looking to move into a new shithole in the next couple of years. This news has angered many fans who believe that a move to an even bigger shithole, than th...

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Funny story: Fat Lampard Eats a Salad

Fat Lampard Eats a Salad

Chelsea Footballer Frank Fat Lampard has been spotted eating a salad. In what is to believed to be the first time ever. Lampard was spotted at a well known restaurant in Chelsea, with his fiancé Christine Bleakley, and said to have had a plate of...

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Funny story: Euromillion winners buy Chelsea FC!

Euromillion winners buy Chelsea FC!

Dedicated Chelsea fans and new Euromillionaires, Dave and Angela Dawes, have decided to invest their winnings by buying Chelsea FC from Roman Abramovich. They are so fanatic about the club and have only one desire; to make it British once again.

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Funny story: Astonishing scoreline at Old Trafford: Man Utd 25-Chelsea 24 and they were just the misses!

Astonishing scoreline at Old Trafford: Man Utd 25-Chelsea 24 and they were just the misses!

The Premier league game between Man Utd and Chelsea was absolutely flabbergasting as both teams put on an astonishing performance in how to miss 100% chances. TV fans and fans lucky enough to have witnessed this crazy game live saw both sets of p...

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Funny story: Man United - They Do What They Want - Like Stuff Chelsea 3-1

Man United - They Do What They Want - Like Stuff Chelsea 3-1

It may be early days yet, but it seems that Man United just do what they want, when they want, and there doesn't seem to be too much that anyone can do about it. Today's game against Chelsea was hyped up to high heaven as youth versus experience,...

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Funny story: Manchester United And Chelsea Serve Up Slapstick Fun

Manchester United And Chelsea Serve Up Slapstick Fun

Sunday's "massive" football fixtures provided no end of fun for fans watching on TV according to a local expert. Sky viewers were able to enjoy Spurs' demolition of Liverpool 4-0, before the football feast was continued as Manchester United beat C...

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Funny story: Chelsea fan Nick Clegg taunts David Cameron about Aston Villa

Chelsea fan Nick Clegg taunts David Cameron about Aston Villa

Nick Clegg, leader of the Liberal Democrats, has wound up Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron with taunts about Aston Villa selling their best players. Cameron, who has been supporting the Villa since he was 13, is reported to be incensed by...

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Funny story: Luka Modric 'stitched up like a kipper' by Spurs

Luka Modric 'stitched up like a kipper' by Spurs

Luka Modric has demanded a move to 'big' club Chelsea after a gentleman's agreement he shared with Tottenham owner Daniel Levy was stolen from Harry Redknapp's office. "I've turned the gaff upside down and can't find it nowhere" said a bemused Har...

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Funny story: Harry Redknapp bites Didier Drogba's hand off

Harry Redknapp bites Didier Drogba's hand off

Didier Drogba has "got the hump" with Chelsea and has has told manager Andre Villas-Boas that he needs to join a club where footballers "speak proper." The Ivory Coast International has demanded a move to Tottenham and wants to be coached in Cockn...

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Funny story: Football Match "Not a Classic" despite efforts of media

Football Match "Not a Classic" despite efforts of media

Despite an extensive and prolonged media effort, last nights top of the table clash turned out to be a slightly underwhelming nil-nil draw, of the type that makes well adjusted football fans shrug philosophically and Alan Green explode in self-righte...

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Funny story: New Chelsea Boss Andre Villas-Boas Doomed To PL Failure

New Chelsea Boss Andre Villas-Boas Doomed To PL Failure

A group of leading sports psychologists are claiming that newly installed Chelsea boss, Andre Villas-Boas is doomed to Premier League failure, and that's before he even starts! Villas-Boas, who moved to Stamford Bridge from Porto this week has alr...

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Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.

Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.

A secret dossier revealing intimate sexual details about Chelsea footballers has been found on a park bench in West London. The 69 page document, containing measurements and diagrams, was compiled over several years by new Chelsea Manager Andre Vi...

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Funny story: Roman Abramovich sacks Andre Villa-Boas and appoints foetus as next Chelsea manager

Roman Abramovich sacks Andre Villa-Boas and appoints foetus as next Chelsea manager

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has sacked his new manager Andre Villa-Boas for being too old. The 33 year had been in the job 12 hours before he got his marching orders. The ex-Porto schoolboy, who has never kicked a ball himself, had developed a...

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Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas to become the world's most expensive seat warmer

Andre Villas-Boas to become the world's most expensive seat warmer

Porto coach Andre Villas-Boas looks set to become the world's most expensive seat warmer after reports suggested Chelsea were prepared to trigger a clause in his contract which stipulates he can leave if a club is prepared to pay £13.2m for his space...

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Funny story: Angry Liverpool Fan Sues Club for Breach of Trust

Angry Liverpool Fan Sues Club for Breach of Trust

Unhappy Liverpool fan Julian Cowell-Bennett, 39, is opening legal proceedings against Liverpool football club on the grounds that the club have failed to deliver on the promise given to him when he began supporting the club in September 1978, at the...

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Funny story: It's Man United v Chelsea In Luka Modric Bidding War - Harry Redknapp Happy

It's Man United v Chelsea In Luka Modric Bidding War - Harry Redknapp Happy

Harry Redknapp is quite happy for Manchester United and Chelsea to enter a bidding war to secure the services of Spurs super Croatian midfield star, Luka Modric. With all the money Spurs have been splashing out on new signings, such as Iniesta, Me...

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Funny story: John Terry Happy With Hughes or Hiddink

John Terry Happy With Hughes or Hiddink

John Terry has told a press conference that he would be quite happy if either Guus Hiddink or Mark Hughes replaced Carlo Ancelotti as the Blues boss after the latter was released prematurely from his Stamford Bridge contract. " Guus Hiddink, Mark...

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