London - (Wrinkly Ass Mess): Official: absolutely no blue blood here. That is the conclusion of an ancestry tracing company that has found Camilla, Madonna-Kebab, the Yorkshire Ripper, Celine Dion, Posh Spice and JK Rowling are all related to a comm...
Buckingham Palace - (Sordid Ass Mess): It's over. A top Palace source has confirmed today that Charles and Camilla are to divorce after a standard prenup based on promoting the Prince's heterosexuality ran aground and finally hit the rocks d...
Balimmoral Castle, Scotland - (Nuptial Mess): The Scottish post office has reported that thousands of parcels from all over the world have been seized ahead of Charles and Camilla's crystal wedding anniversary celebrations tomorrow.
Camilla's daring choice of hat, as reported on this website recently, has created embarrassing headlines for her husband in the French press after a basic tran...
Windsor Castle - (Ass Mess): British couturiers are thronging to countryside game suppliers to pillage supplies of this season's dernier-cri fashion accessory, the barely-dead roadkill hat trim.
Wiltshire - (Rioters): Mystery surrounds the suicide of a police bodyguard found with fatal gunshot wounds at Camilla's Wiltshire house today.
Caribbean - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Camilla is sick to the pit of her stomach. Five days of non-stop tropical storms, seasickness and having to share the custom-built waterbed with her Pretender spouse have left her on a gin drip and Prozac supposit...
Mohamed Al Fayed, the Harrods boss, today retracted part of an astonishing statement he made yesterday outside the inquest into the deaths of Diana Princess of Tarts, and Dodi Al Fayed, her sometime...
London - (Reuterus): Giant replicas of Princess Diana's fanny, Heather Mills' missing leg and a sunbed-ready Camilla are on the Culture Secretary's shortlist to grace Trafalgar Square's empty plinth.
Her Majesty the Queen has announced today via her personal secretary that the Crown Jewels have been lost in the post. Her Majesty posted them courier class with a recorded delivery sticker to Camilla, Second in Line to Princess of Wales, as a specia...
Since its launch on December 7th, the Cunard liner Queen Victoria appears to be cursed.
Pensham, Avon Vale - (Acrimonious Mess): Camilla's £300-a-snip London hairdresser Daniel Galvin Jr has been branded a rabid nutter by disgruntled neighbors who told a judge on Friday that the posturing egomaniacal coiffure is "like a little...
Clarence House, London - (Conspiracy Courier): Hellfire Club grandees in London believe their counterparts at the Osteoporosis Division of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'n' Bones have shielded Camilla from investigation int...
Birkhall House, Wee Bonnny Scotland - (Ass Mess & ReUterus): Camilla has defied convention after being booted off Friday's Guards Chapel Diana Memorial Cringefest by flying off on a sun, sea and sex vacation in the Mediterranean with Mohammed Fay...
Fearing for her own safety, Camilla, Duchess of Co-Respondent has canceled a much anticipated visit to the posh Piccadilly grocer, Fortnum & Mason.
"With blood on her hands the mad eyed bitch moved towards her prey" sang Barry Manilow in his 1982 hit, 'She left me for a Sailor Boy'. How prophetic his words seem this morning. In a display of Royal rage not witnessed since Prin...
Guards Chapel, Wellington Barracks - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Camilla has been dumped from this Friday's Princess Diana cringefest after diplomatic protection cops said they could not guarantee that hordes of psychotic Diana fans would not claw her...
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