The Queen of England today declared that Scotland is owned by England,speaking from Buckingham Palace she said " Scotland is part of the United Kid On and is owned by England we need your oil money" While the mainstream media continue to confuse p...
A huge wave of apathy has swept across most of Britain today. It started in the early hours this morning when James Deakins of Hastings couldn't be arsed to get up for work. The wave quickly swept across southern Britain with a million people thro...
'Nell carefully swept the floor of her grandfather's curiosity shop in West London with a broom, West London with a broom being the unfashionable part of that city, and sighed to herself. For she was only 14 but always curious about things and wanted to know why the British had put so much effort into defeating Napoleon Bonaparte, and why Tottenham Hotspur would never really achieve anything no...
Home Secretary Alan Johnson has declared the UK full and ordered that the UK Border agency close all Ports with immediate effect. For years now British Daily Mail readers have been screaming from the roof tops that the UK's population was getting...
It's official. Britain has gone totally crazy, completely ga-ga, and right off the nut. As the Big Freeze showed signs of easing off and the snow started to melt, thousands of suburban British loonies could be seen emerging from their homes with c...
A warning of severe flooding in low lying areas was issued today as the heavy snowfall of the "Big Freeze" starts to thaw. For beleaguered, battered, and bewildered Brits, such a scenario would be just the latest in a catalogue of ruinous events.
Doctor's today confirmed that Britain is in the grip of a potentially fatal 'stupid' disease. Dr. Mo Hislop, 36, said "early signs are showing a massive pandemic spreading south through the country." The disease has caused many deaths in Britai...
Gordon Brown revealed his controversial plan to plug the black hole in Britain's finances today, with the launch of his new website cashforgord.web. The scheme will be publicised by extensive media advertising. In an exclusive interview he explain...
Prince Phil the Greek, aka The Duke Of Edinburgh, hubby of the reigning monarch, today refused to get drawn into saying anything even remotely controversial. Even though he has previously referred to people from the far east as having 'slitty eyes.'...
Modest, Inter Milan, ex-Chelsea trainer, Jose Mourinho (the Chosen, great, mighty one) has been accused of copying an Italien moron who slapped President Berlusconi by slapping an impudent journalist who dared stand too near his team bus! Whilst b...
* He wears the same crap, but always looks good in it * He's a heavy smoker. After each act, he goes out for one (I've seen it!) * He tends to have hot chicks around him * He made music for Zig and Zag * He's fucking loaded * He's as sharp as a fucking chef's knife. Fellas - learn from him * He makes life difficult for Louis and Cheryl * Everyone is a little shit-scared of him. Be honest!...
The diplomatic storm surrounding the kidnapping of the Firkin family from Norwich as they went for a sailing trip off the Horn Of Africa continues to rage unabated. The kidnappers are demanding $3.5 million US for the safe release of the Firkins,...
Katarina Frogpond (that's me) has the sad duty to announce that Adam Green (very big in Germany) is still not very well known in Britain. Katarina came across this fact when she went to her local independent record shop and tried to buy one of h...
Desperate to stem the tide of highly skilled and professional English emigration to foreign shores and halt the tide of highly motivated East European and Black African immigration benefit seekers the Parliament of England is to launch a £20 assisted...
The people of Britain were today told that at the next General Election there can be no Plan B. Put quite simply, Plan B, or Gordon From Outer Space, must not be an option. The human, ecological and economic impact of failure is just too great. Faili...
Its official Britain is the tramp of the western world! We have dived in to recession so badly we are now just like the tramps you see in the street picking up used cigarette ends! Leading European political economist Dr Ivan Aufulfeelin explained...
Catholic leader Pope Benedict is making a special visit to Britain in 2010 especially to bless his flock of gay/paedophile priests! Pope Benedict aware of the "bad press" his flock of "bent" priests receive in the UK will attempt to convince Briti...
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