Corporate money-sequestration titans Bank of America and Chase Bank today announced that their recently announced new fees and the hikes of existing fees will actually cost more money to introduce, charge and enforce than expected, leaving net profit...
A gang of robbers, stormed the Bank of England yesterday, and demanded staff deposit thirty billion Euros into its safes. Brandishing sawn off water pistols and stink bombs, the gang burst into the foyer of the bank, squirting customers and securi...
The prayers of the world's bankers and investment firms have been answered. The Bank of God has agreed to cover all global debt in exchange for what God is calling "The Ten Commitments." "We tend to forget that God is a shrewd money manager," said...
A British high street bank, beginning with H and ending with an X (certificate) has adopted a brand new customer policy for those wishing to apply for credits. They are writing to their customers and telling them to "f++k off" because they have no...
In just 2 months since its release by Bankrupt America Online, the game Grand Theft Banker has become the most played online game on the planet. The game randomly simulates the payment of massive bonuses to senior bankers and floor traders in retu...
After 20 years of exploration by an international team of forensic anthropologists, a member of the banking industry has been discovered who had a conscience and beating heart. Team leader Digby Digdembones spoke from his cave in Cornwall UK today...
In an unexpected development Banks are offering high interest rates to protesters aiming to occupy the London Stock Exchange. It is thought that this crafty move will take the wind out of the protesters sails as they grab this opportunity to get rich...
Moammar Gadhafi, former ruler of Libya, has emerged from hiding after his overthrow and has been appointed President of International Banking for Citibank's Middle Eastern Division. Chuck Ferkemall, Senior Senior President EMEA for Citibank explai...
The man accused of unauthorised trading that lost Swiss bank UBS around £1.5bn ($2.3bn) has told a court that it is all a big mistake and that it happened because he "lost four words". A Solicitor representing Kweku Adoboli was initially misquoted...
INTERPOL is now looking into the nefarious connection between the recent capture of Whitey Bulger, the bogus reward payout, the Icelandic Mafia, and the Rogue Trader at UBS responsible for a $2.5B bad investment bet! After 16 years on the lam,...
London - Talked-up by Red Tops on Monday this week as executing Canary Wharf's historic 18 billion euro ($28.6 billion) currency trade today's headlines are, naturally, a bit of a disappointment. Harry's spurious involvement in the City's 'biggest...
A leaked report from Number 11 Downing street has revealed the frightening level of institutionally sanctioned incompetence, and superficiality in the current coalition government. Heinz Skimpton Cheeck'Flailer C.E.O of SUCCUBI Assured Investments P...
With Bank shares up following the Osborne/Cameron slow down on Bank reforms and the way open for another recession, things are looking up for those who want to see more austerity and the public lending to Banks again. It is a great prospect. Why o...
Vince Cable is trying to get Banking reform through so they do not have to be bailed out by the taxpayers when they next get into trouble. However Cameron and Osborne, for some unknown reason, do not agree. We can only guess that it something to d...
London - Someone at the Norwegian embassy has complained to the Broadcasting Standards Council. A TV cartoon character in the Lloyds TSB Olympic Torch Relay ad 'looks exactly like Anders Behring Breivik' and is causing widespread confusion. The...
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... It was a time of economic panic and great market uncertainty. Attacked from all sides by angry mobs, bank traders were scattered throughout the galaxy. Everywhere they went, they had to cope with misguided individuals who blamed them for everything, and the Empire which wrongly sought to punish them for perceived crimes. Meanwhile, Luke Stockhold...
MEXICO CITY, Mexico - A confidential source, Mr. X, with close ties to the Mexican drug cartels here, has revealed that it is becoming difficult to find new places to stuff bills. "The cartels blame QE2. They say it is resulting in too much money...
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