An Australian nurse, working in palliative care, claims to have recorded the dying epiphanies (feelings) of her patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She believes that people gain a plausible clarity of vision when dying. She says, "When questioned about any regrets …common themes surfaced again and again." The top five regrets of the dying were: not having lived a life true to themsel...
Wayne Swan, Australia's cleverest dyslexic Treasurer, has re-opened the debate about the country becoming a republic. "When Britain was an empire it had an emperor. When it was a kingdom, it had a king. Now Australia's got Julia Gillard we must becom...
In a dramatic turn of events, it was revealed by the Queensland fisheries minister yesterday, that the state government is to use dying children and the aged attached to drumlines in order to lure and trap man-eating Great White sharks. The mini...
BRISBANE, Australia - The Kangaroo News Agency of Australia has just released a press bulletin. According to KNA reporter Tellaringo Waggaberra, an Australian kangaroo rancher, Chamberlain Cowbrewster owns what is being touted as the most astonish...
Mel Greig and Michael Christian, the two DJs at the centre of the Kate Middleton prank-call controversy, have died in apparently unrelated accidents while undergoing surgery at the same hospital in Sydney. Greig, 30, who had been admitted to St.Vi...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States has decided that it will not be asking the Republic of China for another loan. Federal financial experts have stated that the United States already owes the Republic of China $1.15 billion. They stated that...
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will not be buying new clothes to take with them on their Diamond Jubilee touring holiday to Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea this November. Instead they will be taking with them some of the clothes the...
Brisbane City Council has made a groundbreaking move in the battle to dispel antisocial behaviour from the city centre's major precincts. The city has, for years, watched as groups of poorly educated and unemployed youths have gathered in the city...
In an attempt to curb attacks on people by dangerous dogs, the Australian Veterinary Association (AVA) has proposed the introduction of research into conducting personality tests for canines. AVA spokesman, Jake Russell, told us "We have two issue...
HOLLYWOOD - Noted Australian director Kittles McLeavenworth has just announced that Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski will be appearing in the film Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla. The movie will be the sixth installment i...
International Friendlies England 2 Italy 1 England gained revenge for their Euro 2012 with a victory over the Azurri. The match was played in the Wankdorf Stadium in Berne, Switzerland. With a stadium name like that it's a surprise Wayne Rooney and John Terry weren't in the squad. Scotland 3 Australia 1 The Scots beat the mighty Australians to move up to 3rd in the Cricket World Rankings.
Dearest Readers, My Name is Les Patterson Junior. I am the number one son to Australia's greatest External Affairs powerhouse Sir. Les Patterson. Dear old Dad taught me allot over the years about Foreign Affairs. He was particularly good at passing on knowledge about the application of masculine wiles to turning business trips into pleasure trips during many Far Eastern adventures of the conge...
The Australian government and Australians generally have had their "gutful" (not my comment) of people illegally attempting to enter their sparsely populated country via the Christmas Islands and have decided to build off-shore asylum homes on the ot...
"Alright youse blokes an' sheilas, we stuffed up big time in the London 'Lympics swimmin, right?" These were the words of Australia's swim coach Donnie Tallboys as he post-mortemed Australia's not-so-good effort in the recent London Olympics. "...
Heathrow Airport had to be closed to air traffic for two hour this morning when a kangaroo decided to take a hop along a runway Having just arrived on the scheduled Australia Airlines flight from Sydney the marsupial then escaped down to the tarma...
Aussies, for whom sport is bigger than Jesus Christ and Dame Edna Everidge, are distraught as Team Australia has failed to deliver the gold medals they craved and expected from London 2012. They have endured seeing the 'mother country', Britain, e...
Australia recorded its fifth shark attack of the year, when a Great White shark was savagely bitten by a man this morning. The attack occurred off the Brisbane coast, just after dawn. Startled onlookers reported seeing the five metre long Great Wh...
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