WASHINGTON DC - Dr. Strangedeath, spokesperson for the FDA, reported today that the worlds first aspartame eating contest will be held on July 4, 2009, live on T.V. here. Contestants must pay their own way to Washington, but the aspartame will be...
GENEVA, Switzerland - UPDATE 1 - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up. "Not funny", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to the original revelat...
WASHINGTON, DC - Former FDA officials, who wish to remain unnamed, confided to this reporter that the FDA knew all along that aspartame was poison, but was directed by the National Security Council to approve it to reduce the number one security issu...
WASHINGTON DC - Food expert, and FDA spokesperson, Dr. Strangedeath issued the following press release in response to speculation that the FDA would soon take on a less menacing stance. This press release was issued at noon, February 9, 2009, and is reproduced here in part, starting with the section on aspartame. Methanol - Aspartame is the most searched for item on food packages around th...
WASHINGTON DC - Dr. Strangedeath, FDA spokesman, was found hiding under his desk this morning, hiding from the new administration. When finally coaxed out to use the restroom, he answered a few of my questions. When asked why he was under his des...
NEW YORK, N.Y. - Bonsanto Del Diablo Hospital spokesman Dante Infernopedeo explained that his feeding babies in neonatal units various types of alcohol conformed with standard medical practice, and that the use of aspartame on premature babies confor...
TANDIL, Argentina - Anadna Nosnikliw of the College of Eugenics claims to be in touch with many Nazi's here who can trace themselves directly back to Hitler's organization. She called and told TheSpoof.com today that she claims in fact to be in commu...
WASHINGTON DC - A copy of the presidents final speech, to be delivered on Jan 20 was handed to TheSpoof.com by Kurd Flophouser, who found it on the street outside the White House. It is too long and boring to reproduce in TheSpoof.com, but the hig...
WASHINGTON DC - FDA spokesman Dr. A. S. Strangedeath, announced today that despite controversy, aspartame laced food and drink is approved for the Trump inauguration party. The Secret Service raised concerns that the food might be considered adult...
WASHINGTON, DC - Mr. Joe Shexpeck, cab driver, reported that heavily armed agents from the BATF raided the offices of the FDA last night. Dr. Strangedeath of the FDA explained: the BATF being the agency responsible for the control of alcohol, they...
Poisonville, ILL - Another aspartame company closed it's doors today. One of the last companies left in America, it had to close it's doors because aspartame disease had shut down the line for the last nine months. Mr. N. A. Useam, CEO of Adulter...
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rockyphlesh of Dedfeller Formaldehyde, Inc. reports that its corporation is suing the Rumplestien Aspartame corporation in court today. Their claim: Rumplestien's Aspartame is cutting into their embalming business. They c...
WASHINGTON DC, Dr. Strangedeath of the FDA announced today that Zyclon-B, as well as the already approved Agent Orange is now approved for use in air-freshening aerosol spray cans, so long as a non-fluorocarbon propellant is used, and aspartame is us...
WASHINGTON DC - Today, on the first day of 2009, FDA spokesperson Dr. Strangedeath announced that Agent Orange is approved as the orange flavor agent. In fact, approval for all other orange flavors, including oranges, is revoked, per the Alimentary...
Palm Breach Pist, United States - Editorial - Aspartame, is now claimed to be a natural product since it is made from "natural" amino acids L-aspartic acid and L-phenylalanine. How does it taste? Like crap. But, because it makes people overeat and get sick, two great ways to stimulate the economy, if you own medical or food stocks, it is now added to food under the guise of a "natural flavor...
SCARBOROUGH, England - It's snowing outside and the wind is howling, but you take comfort from the warm coal fire and the good steak-and-kidney pie that mom-mom prepared for the family to eat. On a slick, cold and blustery night here, it can take...
WASHINGTON DC - Dr. Strangedeath issued an emergency press release recalling over 9,000 products containing aspartame. The aspartame was causing over 92 different symptoms when the food items were consumed by humans. Dr. Strangedeath told TheSpoo...
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