The Washington Post has recently reported details from Governor Mitt Romney's past that may derail the presumptive Republican candidate's goal of the White House in the 2012 Presidential Election. Quoting a variety of anonymous sources, the Post has...
Washington DC - Aunt Jemima held a brief press conference today. She announced that she would no longer agree to be Gaston's pick for Vice President of the United States of America. "I's no way gunna serve no pancakes with crappy aspartame syrup.
Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
Septic, MA - A story in the current issue of Leader Breeders USA says Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's current Presidential overseas tour is nothing more that a cover-up to hide his visits to illegitimate bastard off-shore bank accounts, which...
Recently on CNN's State of the Union, Romney's adviser Ed Gillespie stated that Gov. Romney retroactively retired from Bain Capital in 1999 though it actually occurred in 2002. Mr. Gillespie as of this date has offered no explanation on how one i...
BOSTON (July 18)-Already tiring of the continually mocking, whining criticism from the U.S. press corps, Mitt Romney has decided to end the VP search effective immediately; he announced today that he will run on the Republican ticket as the candidate...
Hollywood CA: Cars was a computer animated comedy/adventure film produced by Pixar in 2006 for Disney Studios. Cars takes place in a world populated entirely by transportation vehicles exhibiting human qualities and employs the voices of Hollywood st...
WASHINGTON, DC - In May 2012, billionaire Eduardo Saverin made the news by renouncing his US citizenship; however, he is not alone. Since President Obama took office, the number of Americans leaving the country in 2011 was more than 600% higher than...
SAGINAW, Michigan - Mitt Romney traveled to Saginaw to pay a visit to an old high school friend McMillan E. Figglefox. The Political Salad Bar News Agency had reported that Romney had become somewhat upset with his long time friend. It appears...
SAN FRANCISCO - President Obama visited The Golden Gate City of San Francisco where he spoke to a boisterous crowd at The Veni Vidi Vici Coliseum. The president told the crowd of 13,739, that he wants them to know that the future lies with today's...
NASHUA NEW-HAMPSHIRE - I'm sitting down at the "Happy Pig" lunch counter café in down town Nashua New Hampshire, nursing my tenth cup of coffee while waiting for Mitt Romney to arrive. The short order cook is busy in the back flipping over egg's and bacon on a hot grill as Sally, the lone waitress in this joint, is carrying plates in both hands and serving it up to two burly looking steel workers...
Washington DC - Deputy White House Press Secretary, Alfonzo Alamoso Arogola Rodriquez Somafeliea, announced today that all Mexicans would be able to participate in the Presidential election by remote ballot. As an added bonus for those who parti...
Election Update Our money is working in America. The serfs are responding to our propaganda, actually believing that they voted for someone who "loves to fire people" at a time when almost all of them are underemployed, unemployed, or starving. Soft-kill pogrom Aspartame continues to blind, kill, and fatten the stupidest of the serfs while radiation from our Fukushima operation is working wond...
In an election year fraught with tension and frustration, the Democratic Party and President Obama have a very serious question to answer for the 2012 election year, "Does the President replace Vice President Joe Biden and if so, with whom?" The O...
"Being president sounds glamorous," revealed a pensive Barack Obama during a rare private interview in the Oval Office yesterday, "but it's not all fun and games." Obama went on to express how difficult it has been for him to keep track of what he...
GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour "Old Mittens Covers America" pulled into Green River. The town was made famous by Creedence Clearwater Revival back in 1969, when lead singer John Fogerty sang the hit song "Green Riv...
President Barack Obama is personally responsible for managing a "kill list" of people targeted for assassination by the American government - no small task. In addition, it's Obama's job to personally approve any additions to the list. At a pres...
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