Philadelphia PA-- Voters going to polling stations next month may be in for some surprises. Homeland Insecurity has installed electronic touch pads equipped with the latest in nanotechnology and computer software. Many voters may wish to bring an a...
Tokyo, Japan - Baro, real name Barrack Obama, is now to be found in Tokyo as an aspiring enka singer. "I never would have entered the presidential race if I thought there was a chance of me losing my erection," explained Baro, in his newly acquired J...
In a late reverse of fortune, Barack Obama has decided to dump his Presidential side kick Joe Biden in favour of veteran pop personality Madonna. Obama received a phone call late yesterday from the Queen of Sleaze indicating that she has more tim...
Senator Barack Obama is days away from breaking all advertising spending records set by major movie studios when launching crap movies. He may also exceed the theretofore-unrivalled price tag of the previous presidential election, purchased by former...
In addition, the FBI is expanding its investigation beyond ACORN and into other nutty American political groups. Here's the FBI's list of top American political nuts: ACORN - Supports Barack Hussein-Obama and has the little-acorn-to-giant-oak thing going. (In response, it should be observed that Mr. Obama, during the final weeks of the election, is wearing higher and higher elevator sho...
Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher announced his independent candidacy for the presidency of the United States today, citing a need to defeat "that socialist [Barack Obama]," a task he feels is not being accomplished by Republican challenger, Senator Joh...
Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Psychic Mess): Dow Jones-listed internet bookmaker Aintgottaprayer.con has reported a (Wailing) wall of money for GOP presidential wannabe John McCain having a fatal coronary ahead of the 4 November election. The spread-bet...
The Federal Association of Political Advertisements(FAPA) announced today that starting immediately political radio and television ads must reword their candidate approval statements. Currently political ads either open or close with: "I am ______...
Hillary Clinton has wangled her way into the debate audience tonight, to be held in Hemphead, New York. Getting a taste for looming in the background, she claims she'll stay at the back of the room and merely observe, while she uses Betsy Ross' or...
Sun City, Arizona - In a desperate bid to prop up his ailing presidential campaign, Senator John McCain has changed his name to McCane. The name change follows a similar one by the Obama camp to remove Hussein as his middle name. According to Ral...
Last night's debate between Presidential candidates, Barrack Obama and John McCain, heavily focused on their vision for helping the nation out of economic trouble. Barrack Obama pledged to only raise taxes for those Americans making more than $...
Presidential hopeful John McCain is taking comfort from a new electoral poll that says that 55% of Klu Klux Klan members "don't trust Obama". Part-time Klansmen Ray Cyst said: "There's something about Senator Obama that I don't like. I'm not sure...
According to an unidentified military source, presidential hopeful John McCain may be planning to step up efforts to raise the specter of terrorism in a last-ditch attempt to distract the public from the economic fiasco and his running-mate's plummet...
At a campaign dinner in Virginia Beach, Virginia, republican presidential candidate John McCain identified "having survived being tortured for over five years," as THE key issue in the upcoming November presidential election. "Look at my opponent...
Kennebunkport, Me/ Shipping News - In a moving and highly emotional impromptu news conference, former President George Herbert Walker Bush, apologized for his son, current President George W. "It should have been Jeb, it should have been Jeb," t...
Chicago,Il /Militant Times - A new sense of urgency has gripped the Obama Presidential campaign as reports are surfacing that convicted Chicago Developer Tony Rezko is going to roll over on the entire Democrat Political Machine in Illinois. The 53...
I've just awakened to a new day, full of joy and hope for the future. My candidate has won by a landslide. The story this morning is no longer about who won, but by how much. Half the political pundits are on their way to Alaska to go into torpor with the bears until spring, but I wouldn't mind if they hibernated for the next four years, perhaps eight. The ringing of the opening bell a...
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