According to a recent survey by none other that Playboy Magazine, these are the most hated names or terms a wife wants to be called during sex with her husband: 1. Sperm Bank 2. PooPoo 3. You still there? 4. Little Sticky 5. Loosey Goosey 6. Call the undertaker! 7. What's for supper tonight? 8. Did you know you had a wart at your hairline? 9. 84 bottles of beer on the wa...
Here are the most overheard terms of late for knocking off someone according to over 10,000 FBI secret tapes, once they removed one that turned out to be a new flavor from Ben & Jerry's. 10. Changed His Name to Kennedy. 9. Won't be able to sign up for Obamacare. 8. Playing Harp with Lennon and Harrison. 7. Widow to save money on crematorium bill. 6. Will Vote democrat By Pro...
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just issued its yearly list of 10 albums that did not make it off the record store and retail store shelves. Every year hundreds of recording artists go into the recording studio in hopes of hopefully recording the next Thriller by Michael Jackson, Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, or Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. But sad to say a good numb...
Here are some places you can safely hide your money fron crooks like the Government, the IRS and other crooks: 1. In an envelope taped to the bottom of your youngest kid if you have a babe. If not, how about under the cat box? 2. In a watertight plastic bottle or jar in the commode place it under some fake diahrrea. (Be sure this commode is the one never flushed). 3. In a skin-colored env...
Following are the top 12 worst movies so far this year. Let's hope no more stinkers between now and New years Day. 12. Worms On A Plane (An AARP/Mile High Club Production) 11. Herbie And the Auto Erotic Studebaker! 10. S Is Fore T (A Sue Grafton Mystery) 9. Mario Can't Jump 8. The Land Time Forgot To Take A Timeout For These Commercials. 7. Close Encounters Of The Turd Kin...
As 2014 approaches, it occurred to me recently that Spring of the upcoming year, marks the 20 year anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. Cobain was the lead singer of the legendary band Nirvana. After his death, he was referred to in several publications as "The voice of his generation." Well, I don't know about all that but I do know . . . 10 Reasons Why Generation X 'ers Realize They May Be...
The Tea Party is a group of political hacks who have hijacked Congress, shut down the government, and polluted vast stretches of the Infosphere with their antisocial notions and out of order tactics. Sure, they were entertaining at first, offering earnest explanations of how a bill becomes a hate crime. But Tea Party demagogue Ted Cruz has stopped being funny and has become just annoying. Now...
New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
According To The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency of Chicago, Vampire motion pictures have just surpassed sci-fi movies, superhero movies, fantasy movies, and animated movies in terms of overall popularity. The film series The Twilight Saga, which starred Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner helped to popularize the vampire genre of films. Television shows about vampires helpe...
Anthony Weiner has probably provided more jokes for all of the late night talk shows than anyone or anything else this year. There is not a man, woman, or child who has not uttered the name Anthony Weiner at least once. And the Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has stated that Jay Leno has said the word Weiner more than anyone else in America. As of September 6, Jay Leno has said the infamou...
It's a longstanding tradition in America for television programming to unveil new shows about this time of year, or at least, a few days or weeks from now. This fall season is teeming with original series -- particularly scripted dramas and comed...
Over the years the National Football League has strived to do what it takes to make the game of professional football safer. And no one can argue that we have not come a long way since the days of leather helmets, one bar face masks, and a square football. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he and the NFL will continue to do whatever it takes to make sure that NFL players do not en...
There is perhaps no politician in the United States who enjoys eating more than Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey. Governor Christie adheres to the adage popularized by 70s musical icon David Crosby who said on many occasions that he had never met food that he did not like. The New Jersey governor has revealed that he weighs 351 pounds and chuckles that about 198 pounds is water weight.
In a recent survey of science historians, the history of science book has been torn up and thrown away with the revelation that the humble list is the most important invention of all time. "We thought that they might choose Newton's laws of motion...
Sometimes it takes more than a boffin with a Mac to come up with a killer app idea. Here's a top 10 of the best of the worst apps ever to be released: 10. The 'Battery Monitor' App: designed to monitor the power usage of a phone's software and apps so users can make their battery charges last longer. The app consistently showed itself to be the biggest power drain. Verdict: Complete Power Failu...
1)Stop exercising it's making you ill. It gets in the way of drinking time, trash T.V. and arguing with your family. The lycra makes you look ridiculous. Elasticated waistbands aren't that bad. 2) Ditch the diet. For good. Your adult weight has gone from 120 to 160 pounds over the course of a year. Up and down like an out-of-control elevator. Accept that you're a fat bastard and get on with it.
The Christmas season is fast approaching and merchants and retailers are already trying to figure out which toys will be this holiday season's best sellers. According to three of the biggest retail chains in the United States this year promises to be a banner year for such toys as Jake's Musical Pirate Ship, LeapPad 2 Explorer, Nerf Laser Tag Blasters, Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Star Doll - Harmony...
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