Sometime during the first Tuesday in November, Americans will be taking to the streets and demanding an Apple I-Phone 6, which is way better than voting for the next US President. The sad reality for the American people is that either way, someone w...
BILLINGSGATE POST - In what can only be called a cleverly couched homoerotic overture, a courier for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad passed a sealed envelope to President Obama that contained a note stating, "If Barack Hussein Obama would show...
Washington - It worked a treat for George W Bush's 2004 re-election bid as voters lapped up Dubya twirling the royals 'like some half-demented Dervish' during his 2003 London state visit. This weekend the White House PR team was putting the final...
First Mitt Romney goes with a darker make up to sway the Hispanic vote, now he has taken to getting mammograms to sway the female vote. Mitt Romney has has stepped into the radiology lab and put his breasts on the slab. Mitt Romney has come out ad...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Paris Hilton, the woman decried from every conservative, evangelical pulpit in the US, is now those very same Christian's newly minted, heterosexual pin up girl. Not only that, but some Republicans, speaking on Fox News, bega...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mitt Romney is sticking to his guns and is flat out refusing to release his income tax returns. GOPicky Magazine is reporting that there is a loop hole, which the White House legal staff has found which states that the president...
SOUTH PARK COLORADO (ABSNN) - "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Bastards," said a sobbing fifth grader at South Park Elementary School located in this fictional town. In the wake of repeated calls for Federal action by a Fox News Host (whose name I...
So picture this: You just arrived in Denver last night, and here you are at, like, seven o'clock the next morning, sprawled back in your cargo pants and espadrilles, smoking some very cool brown cigarettes, drinking tequila out of the bottle, and listening to some upbeat tunes on the radio. So far, so good, right? What's funny about it is that you're hunkered down in this great big walk-in...
BILLINGSGATE POST - ELECTION SPECIAL - In a face saving development that could potentially change the way voters look at presidential candidates, the handlers of Barack Obama requested that his head be put into a hermetically sealed bubble so that Mi...
After another presidential mega-gaffa dropped by Mitt Romney reached the ears of the public it was obvious who is backing his campaign to boot liberal Obama out of office. One of Mitt's multi-billionaire backers vowed to throw $100.000000,00 into...
BOSTON (ABSNN) - Republican Presiential nominee Mitt Romney, hard on the heels of his foreign policy coup of last week, defended his stand that Barack Obama is a Muslim apologist. And he managed to alienate a few more government workers in the barga...
Do you know what's really special if you are unemployed, homeless, hungry, despondent, uneducated, bankrupt, and chronically ill? It's having a cold, frosty beer, you fool! And President Obama, having utterly failed at every other "solu...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move to show that the United States does not think bad of Kate Middleton for having been photographed topless, President Obama and Vice-President Biden have decided to extend to her a cordial invitation of support. The pres...
Mitt Romney blasted President Obama today. Calling him "severely soft" and "almost anally apologetic to Muslim monsters" we should be 'designating dead by drone," or at the very least "describing in less alliterative fashion," Mitt minced mots minima...
Washington DC: The lights were burning late at the White House as a small group of Obama administration policy makers formulated what to do about the Middle East Muslim riots and to insure the safety of US embassies in the region. A White House st...
NEW YORK CITY - Mitt Romney was in the Big Apple being interviewed by radio station KREP talk show host Tulips Fibbowitz. Miss Fibbowitz, who is not the least bit shy, asked him just exactly how much money he's worth. Romney nodded his head and...
ROSEVILLE MN (ABSNN) - Republican congresswoman Michele Bachmann challenged President Obama's "Genius" foreign policy and said the President should "grow some balls and kick some A-rab ass," Saturday during a speech in this suburb of St. Paul, MN.
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