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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Racist hits out at 'racist' Africa Cup of Nations winners

Racist hits out at 'racist' Africa Cup of Nations winners

A Suffolk based racist has hit out at Africa Cup of Nations winning side Zambia for 'not fielding any white players'. Mike Stuffer, 60, a semi retired Tax accountant from Bungay is furious that the Zambian national football team is entirely made u...

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Funny story: Liverpool apologise to Chelsea for Torres

Liverpool apologise to Chelsea for Torres

Liverpool have described Fernando Torres' refusal to score for Chelsea as "unacceptable". Torres has since apologised for being unable to hit a cow's arse with a banjo, and admits he has let the club down. Liverpool's managing director, says th...

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Funny story: Now Dalglish Issues An Apology Over Handshake Row - Uses Arsene Wenger Defence - Red Faces All Round At Anfield

Now Dalglish Issues An Apology Over Handshake Row - Uses Arsene Wenger Defence - Red Faces All Round At Anfield

Following hot on the heels of a grovelling Luis Suarez apology, which some observers have reported as not being totally kosher, Kenny Dalglish has now issued a statement, apologising for remarks he made in a post match interview at Old Trafford, citi...

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Funny story: Manchester United Fanzine 'Red Issue' Accused Of Scousism

Manchester United Fanzine 'Red Issue' Accused Of Scousism

The Manchester United fanzine, Red Issue, was accused by the media of Scousism today, after it published a cut out and keep Ku Klux Klan mask bearing a 'Luis Suarez is innocent' slogan. For anyone who has been sleeping rough in a skip throughout t...

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Funny story: Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

The English FA today announced a multi-million pound investment in a brand new centre of Handshaking as they admitted that English football has fallen behind the world in pre-match handshaking. FA Director of fence sitting, Sir Trevor Fencing CBE...

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Funny story: Patrice Evra Goes Slightly Mad At Full Time

Patrice Evra Goes Slightly Mad At Full Time

Manchester United defender Patrice Evra went slightly mad at Old Trafford this afternoon, as referee, Phil Dowd blew for full time, heralding a 2-1 win for United over bitter rivals, Liverpool. Two goals from Wayne Rooney in the space of three min...

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Funny story: Steve McClaren rules himself out of England job

Steve McClaren rules himself out of England job

Fc Twente's flamboyant Dutch manager Steve McClaren has officially ruled himself out of the newly vacant England managers post. Given that McClaren was never "ever in a million years" (FA chairman David Bernstein) going to be interviewed for the job,...

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Funny story: Betting Suspended on Harry Redknapp to be next England manager

Betting Suspended on Harry Redknapp to be next England manager

Bookmakers stopped taking bets today on Harry Redknapp to be the next manager of the England football team when reports of large bets were being placed around the country - including Portsmouth, Bournemouth, London, Leicester and Sheffield. The FA...

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Funny story: England's Wild About 'Arry!

England's Wild About 'Arry!

Football fans all over England - but mainly in East London, like dahn Bethnal Green, Whitechapel, Plaistow and Bow and that innit - are cock a hoop that, following the departure of the Italian sophisticate, Fabio Capello, it looks highly likely that...

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Funny story: FA Announce Successor

FA Announce Successor

It was revealed by insiders at the FA today that following an inability to win anything for 42 years with the full-time managers they would adopt the successful and well worn television trick of inviting a guest manager for each match. "The guest...

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Funny story: Brian Blessed in the running to be new England manager

Brian Blessed in the running to be new England manager

After the sudden resignation of Fabio Capello, the English Football Association are casting the net very wide indeed to search for the next England manager. They have said they would prefer the next coach to be English, but he doesn't necessarily nee...

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Funny story: Fabio Capello steps down as England manager

Fabio Capello steps down as England manager

Fabio Capello has resigned as England manager, the Football Association has confirmed. It is believed that Fabio wants to spend more time with his family. A source told BBC today "Fabio is a pensioner - working two weeks in the summer will be...

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Funny story: Queen Cleared Harry Redknapp Says Portsmouth Superfan

Queen Cleared Harry Redknapp Says Portsmouth Superfan

Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp was cleared of tax evasion by a jury at Southwark Crown Court today. He spoke of his relief at the end of the five-year ordeal concerning an off-shore bank account and accusations of bungs over the sale of...

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Funny story: Kenny Dalglish substitutes Andy Carroll with a "wimp"!

Kenny Dalglish substitutes Andy Carroll with a "wimp"!

After Fernando Torres of Chelsea, Andy Carroll bites the biscuit as the second big time loser in the Premier league and slowly Liverpool manager, Kenny Dalglish, is beginning to see what they paid 35 million quid for, a "wimp"! Andy, struggling to...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Man City, PSG and Chelsea to bid for Anfield hero

Transfer Window: Man City, PSG and Chelsea to bid for Anfield hero

Liverpool manager Kenny MacGlish today told reporters that the Anfield Cat was not for sale despite big bids from Manchester City, Paris Saint Germain and Chelsea. The cat made a cameo appearance at Anfield last night in the televised match betwe...

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Funny story: Fabio Capello 'may have breached contract' says Derek Derekson

Fabio Capello 'may have breached contract' says Derek Derekson

Fabio Capello may have breached his 6 squillion lira contract with the Football Association by telling an Italian radio station he has asked the mafia to fix the Euro 2012 tournament so England can win. An FA insider told the spoof sports desk "Th...

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Funny story: Fabio Capello decides on new skipper after FA strip Terry of captaincy

Fabio Capello decides on new skipper after FA strip Terry of captaincy

Fabio Capello may be in breach of his contract by telling an Italian radio station he was not happy about the FA decision to strip John Terry of the captaincy over his court appearance for alleged racism - but last night at Anfield he may have found...

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