Barack Obama expressed "sincere regret" today over his controversial remark about putting lipstick on a pig. After substantial criticism that his joke was an inappropriate statement about Sarah Palin, Obama explained that he "never intended to offend...
London - (Ass Mess): A blood-red hammer and sickle-emblazoned UFO has been seen circling PM Gorgon Brown's weekend retreat of Chequers against the awesome backdrop of the full Harvest Moon. The craft's appearance coincided with the weekend visit o...
Itchy Sarah Palin, mayor of Wasilla, Alaska which has more pubic lice than people sought large Federal grants to find a cure for the crabs. Palin told a Congressional committee charged with investigating Pthirus pubis ("crab" louse, pubic louse) that...
After only a week or so under the magnifying glass of US political media scrutiny, Ice Princess Palin has decided to that Hillary Clinton would be the best VPilf: "Clinton clearly would be the better choice. She's smarter, savvy-er and has actu...
Washington - After a hard day of campaigning Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin likes to curl up at home, take a hot bath and play with her pussy. "Its so soft and cuddly, I like to pet it, its sooooooo nice!" "I like to stroke it under i...
Science or magic? You decide! But Ice Princess Sarah Palin managed to create a deep freeze in the Nowhere Bay that Alaskans hoped Americans would spend billions to bridge. True believers from an ancient Russian religious cult that worships Palin have...
The Republican party was reeling this evening after revelations that its vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, had starred in a series of low budget Canadian softcore porn movies in the late 1970s. The films, with titles like Confessions of a...
One of Sarah Palin's top aides has stated that Mrs. Palin is tired of all the publicity that the story about "The Bridge To Nowhere" has generated. It is of course a fact that at first Governor Palin supported the $398 million dollar project, but she...
Sarah Palin, the recently chosen VP pick for John McCain has been rumored to be the lovechild of none other than McCain himself. Once word started to go around, the presidential candidate spoke. "It was something that ruined my first marriage. My...
Sarah Palin, Vice President of the future has asked the Oscar winning screenwriters Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to write a hit block-busting film for her. The film, provisionally titled 'Good Moose Hunting' will feature Palin, comedy legend Billy C...
Presidential running mate Sarah Palin has until Wednesday to decide which Vice she will be President of, it has been revealed. Top secret talks held at the Watergate Hotel have shown that Palin, the self described Pit-bull with Lipstick has yet to...
News has reached us that Paul McCartney is to re-record his worst song, The Frog Chorus with Sarah Palin. The mulit-talented Musician and Songwriter, McCartney, famed for his work with a band in the 1960's told us: 'Yes, it is true. I felt it was...
Did Sarah Palin shoot a certain red-nosed reindeer? Is this causing Christmas to be cancelled due to Santa being unable to guide his sleigh and being broken up at the killing of his beloved differently-abled pet? Rumors swirl that the reindeer was...
"Matt Damon is voting for Matt Damon because Matt Damon knows who Matt Damon is." With those words, actor Matt Damon launched his presidential campaign. Damon, considered by many to be not only the world's finest actor, but also its greatest polit...
The 2008 Presidential campaign droned on today with more, yes more, shocking personal revelations and allegations. The Longest Presidential Election Ever, which began sometime in the early 21st century, is also The Most Annoying Presidential Campaig...
According to the Wildlife International Members and Protectors Fund (WIMPF) of the "Wild Animals Can't be Killed Ollie" Society (WACKOS) their new television ad about Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her meany record on aerial hunting of w...
It started with frustration in the famous nice guy interviewer's voice. Then a kind of nervous toe tapping that resembled the Larry Craig Morse Code Bathroom Waltz. On to questions asked over and over again after vague and redundant non-answers.
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