A new government report has blasted UK bingo clubs for their part in the current financial crisis. Since some bright spark at Bluerinse Bingo Club in Sheffield had the revolutionary idea of getting their balls out three times a day instead of two, al...
Barney Stickles, a 40-year old employee of a local public relations company, suffered multiple abrasions and bruises today in an accident after his boss directed him to hit the ground running. "He got skinned up pretty bad," said said paramedic F...
WALLA WALLA, Washington - Shocking Illustrated Monthly, the definitive magazine publication dealing with the world of electricians and electricity, has just done a tribute story on Horatio Byron Kandlekindle. Mr. Kandlekindle, who just turned 98,...
Bank of America President and CEO Brian Moynihan doesn't claim to be a gifted chef. "I can barely find my way around a kitchen," he admitted with a self-deprecating grin. "But I felt such strong appreciation for our loyal bank employees that I wa...
In a research study that confounded scientists, it was revealed that Americans live in constant state of hurry - and 99% of the rushers don't want to arrive at the place they're rushing to get to! Says Dr. Anna Klein, Director of the Center for Am...
In a flash of insight he calls divine inspiration, presidential hopeful Ron Paul singlehandedly discovered the solution to the nation's current job crisis: scaling down the work-week from five days to four. "It's so obvious!" exclaimed Paul to joy...
Although there are over 8 million people living in New York City, the company where Manhattan resident Bill Bartwell works employs only 60 people - making Bill's odds of running into any of his co-workers during his morning commute relatively low. Fa...
The United States Bureau of Labor has reported that for the first time in the past 6 years, unemployment rates have dropped a statistically remarkable 3%, with a corresponding 3% increase in levels of wage slavery. According to President Obama, th...
Copied from the author's 'Editors Comments Page', of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 139, published in April 2009. Amended to suit today's climate. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the fir...
When she was growing up, Hillary Clinton was determined to break through traditional barriers to feminine achievement. In other words, Hillary was NEVER going to be just a secretary. However, like many women, Hillary found that traditional feminin...
Copied from the author's first and Editors Advice Page, of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 144, published in August 2009. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the firm never to have taken a day...
In a move that horrified her spiritually-minded friends, 32-year-old Kim Lewiston, who resides in New York's East Village, decided to take a crappy job in order to pay her mounting bills. The decision did not come easily to Kim, who's always been...
Studies have found that the best way to get ahead at work is basically, to "slack off." The Institute of Medical Latent Apprehensive Zoological Yodeling released their findings today from a year long study of local businesses and offices, on what ex...
The Government announced that strange new powers were to be granted to Job Centre staff. As well as teaching them advanced telepathy, speed wanking to Facebook profiles they will be given the ability to order people to work for free before they are a...
Young people are being criticised by senior political figures for their evident desire to spend the majority of their waking hours following orders and carrying out unenviable tasks. "The lack of imagination is staggering," said Boris Johnson, May...
The Government, through the Department for Work and Pensions, has announced the introduction of new Yob Centres aimed especially at the work-shy, brain dead and late-teen New Direction fans. Tastefully decorated in appealing "street pizza" pattern...
Miami Florida bald headed guy, Joe Alopecia, who has been completely bald for the last 25 years, called in sick on Monday due to a really bad head day. Apparently Mr. Alopecia woke up Monday morning to find that his entire head had become misshap...
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