Showing:

Funny satire stories about suicide

Try another search?

Funny story: Rising Bankruptcies and Suicides Lead to Welcome Drops in Mass Layoff and Jobless Figures

Rising Bankruptcies and Suicides Lead to Welcome Drops in Mass Layoff and Jobless Figures

First, the bad news. New economic reports issued by Automated Access to Court Electronic Records (AACER), a database of U.S. bankruptcy statistics used by attorneys and lenders, indicate that filings jumped 40 percent in May from a year ago as the sl...

Read full story
Funny story: Bob Crane's Murder Now Ruled Difficult and Lengthy Suicide

Bob Crane's Murder Now Ruled Difficult and Lengthy Suicide

Bob Crane was an American disc jockey and actor, best known for his performance as Colonel Robert E. Hogan in the television sitcom Hogan's Heroes, which ran from 1965 to 1971. Crane appeared in a number of other career crushing shows, including Poli...

Read full story
Funny story: Playground Death Ruled A Sui-Slide

Playground Death Ruled A Sui-Slide

According to his friends at the park, Jerry Monson was "a real swinger." The four year old was also often winner of king of the mountain games and, according to his friends, "made the best mud pies ever." Sadly, this playdate playmate was found dea...

Read full story
Funny story: Suicide Note

Suicide Note

Dear family, After much soul searching- and with the help of a bottle of malt liquor- I have decided to kill myself. I know I've always said that "you'll outlive me over my dead body," but circumstances have changed. You might be sad about my impending death, but we both know it's for the best. There's no denying that I'm a lousy wife, mother, poker player, ventriloquist and type setter.

Read full story
Funny story: Search for Suicide Bomber Intensifies

Search for Suicide Bomber Intensifies

Washington, D.C. - Homeland secretary Napolitano and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Assistant Secretary John Morton today announced new initiatives to track down and apprehend notorious Al Qaeda suicide bomber Faleek Mustobar. Must...

Read full story
Funny story: Confusion over new assisted suicide legislation

Confusion over new assisted suicide legislation

New government guidelines concerning 'assisted suicide' have been the cause of some confusion among the happy. However, those who require no help at all will be comforted to learn that it is still regarded as acceptable to take a handful of tranqu...

Read full story
Funny story: FBI feebly attempts to arrest Gaddafi in NY strapped to the hilt with suicide bombs!

FBI feebly attempts to arrest Gaddafi in NY strapped to the hilt with suicide bombs!

Goony President Gaddafi was allowed diplomatic immunity today after refusing to drop his trousers whilst US customs attempted to search his ginormous fat waistline! The mega-arrogant-loony Libyan President ordered the "US Custom Infidels" to drop...

Read full story
Funny story: Michael Jackson Death Ruled A Homicide

Michael Jackson Death Ruled A Homicide

The death of Michael Jackson has been ruled a homicide and not an accident. Jackson died to the the effects of a lethal does of narcotics in his system that were provided to him by his private physician. Multiple prescriptions for the medicatio...

Read full story
Funny story: Hull City Fans Block Samaritans Switchboard

Hull City Fans Block Samaritans Switchboard

Hull City fans, desperate at the lack of activity in the close-season transfer market by manager Phil Brown and chairman Paul Duffen, have hit rock bottom before the campaign has even begun, and have turned to the one organisation that claims to be a...

Read full story
Funny story: Fr. Francois' Confessional #04

Fr. Francois' Confessional #04

Dear Fr. Francois: I am a 36-year-old man living in Huntington, West Virginia. I have an excellent job with a financial institution; my salary, after taxes, is $310,000 per year. My rent and living expenses use up about $70,000 per year. The remaining $240,000 is "disposable income." And I certainly dispose of it, and in the worst of ways, too! You see, Fr. Francois, I spend all of my mo...

Read full story
Funny story: Al Qaeda's latest threat: Suicide Stink Bombers

Al Qaeda's latest threat: Suicide Stink Bombers

[AFP/Reuters, Peshawar 11 July]: In a development that's ringing alarm bells from Langley to Lahore, Al Qaeda has threatened to launch waves of suicide attacks by stink-bombers against US and allied targets across the globe. The threat was made by...

Read full story
Funny story: Stockbroker suicide from Sir Terence Con-Artist restraurant

Stockbroker suicide from Sir Terence Con-Artist restraurant

London - (Salmonella Ass Mess): Amuse bouche?? Ya know that gut feeling feeling in the pit of yer stomach that says something was well dodgy about the king prawns alfredo? Well today a City stockbroker made the ultimate in gastronomic stateme...

Read full story
Funny story: Six Flags Amusement Parks Bankrupt - Mr. Six On Suicide Watch

Six Flags Amusement Parks Bankrupt - Mr. Six On Suicide Watch

New York City - Six Flags Inc., one of the world's largest chain of amusement parks has filed for bankruptcy. Their mascot, Mr. Six, a breakdancing, old bald geezer, who bears a striking resemblance to Bush bailout guru, Henry Paulson, is currently o...

Read full story
Funny story: Suicide Watch 911 Therapist Concludes: Probably Better Off!

Suicide Watch 911 Therapist Concludes: Probably Better Off!

The recent suicide/accident of popular actor David Carradine has led to a rash of calls on the Suicide Watch Line and after more than 10,000 calls, responder Doctor James Houchins says "They may be right." "You look around at this country with ten...

Read full story
Funny story: David Carradine's Death Increases Rope Sales At Adult Shops.

David Carradine's Death Increases Rope Sales At Adult Shops.

(Los Angeles-CA) As more facts emerge from the Bangkok medical examiner's office regarding the death of "Kung Fu" and "Kill Bill" star David Carradine, a trend is developing at adult shops in both New York and Los Angeles. The sale of nylon rope has...

Read full story
Funny story: Political suicide is better than actual suicide.

Political suicide is better than actual suicide.

A perfect place has been found for all of those MPs who have decided to end it all. The moat at the centre of allegations is the perfect place to die. One MP who did not want to be named said, "Well the horse shit has hit the fan for sure. We MPs...

Read full story
Funny story: Nadine Dorries Commits Suicide, Politically Speaking

Nadine Dorries Commits Suicide, Politically Speaking

Nadine Dorries, the Tory backbencher, is thought to have wrecked her political future after she claimed that MPs were victims of a "McCarthy-style witch-hunt" over their expenses. The Conservative Party is deeply embarrassed by comments that the M...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more