Rock County, Wisconsin. Doug Marten, 56, knew it was time to make some serious lifestyle changes after he fainted at work last week on Tuesday at 5:45 pm. With nearly 25 years of excessive caffeine consumption, chain smoking, unhealthy eating, and...
Tom Norton, 48, of La Crosse, Wisconsin, experimented with the idea of going "organic" last week, after promising himself that he would let go of Walmart-purchased pot pies, microwavable spaghetti dinners, corned beef hash, processed cheese curds, ha...
A man questioned his choices in life while sitting alone on Saturday afternoon watching second-rate football on TV. “Where did I go wrong?” he asked himself. He wondered how he got to this point in his life where he is sitting at home on a beautif...
Crawford County, Wisconsin. Feeling lighthearted, happy, and full of joy, Ron Wesley, 38, decided to dig through his basement last Saturday, February 9th, in the sincerest hope that he could remember just how depressing, overwhelming, and lonely his...
Platteville, Wisconsin. Without the use of marijuana or any other form of drug, Brad Smith, 39, entered a unique and extremely bizarre 'state of mind' during which he began to ponder the 'totality of all physical and spiritual existence' last Saturd...
Beloit, Wisconsin. Brad Steiner's trac phone ran out of minutes last Friday, February 1st, after he spent the entire evening desperately trying to provide deep advice to others who were feeling emotionally distressed and extremely troubled. Brad,...
Crawford County. After consuming two bottles of cheap wine and some tequila, smoking 3 packs of Marlboro Reds, and then relentlessly draining 28 cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, local resident, Brad Harvell, fell down on the front doorstep of his house b...
St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...
Minnesota. Lisa Degner, 32, reached her '10 Year Work Anniversary' as an officer at the Olsen Correctional Facility last Monday. Lisa, who is well-known by her fellow correctional officers for being manipulative, bossy, incompetent, cruel, and...
Accomplished author, Bob Durning, recently wrote a 790-page book about stress management that nobody has any time to read. The number 1 hit seller, which has the potential of completely rocking the world of literature, is currently sitting in...
A new study released by the International Institution of Profoundly Good, Superior, and Extremely Wonderful Information released a confidential report last Thursday indicating that the harsh realities of life will continually be covered up by lies, d...
Midwest. Wes Johnston, a 39-year-old Social Studies Teacher who seemed rather upset with the path he had chosen in life by earning a Master's Degree in Education instead of a Business Degree, went completely berserk last Thursday, after a parent cal...
Michigan. Employees at Woodland National Decking Products were incredibly aggravated last Monday after the company tested out a newly-purchased, industrial 'floor cleaning machine' with a foot-long chute for expelling debris. As a heavily-inspect...
A new study conducted by the Quantum Institute of Life Theory strongly suggests that contrary to the feel-good mantra that everything happens for a (presumably divine) reason, in actual fact everything happens for no reason whatsoever. “It’s a lit...
After a lifetime of hemming, hawing, and beating around all kinds of bushes, Christian Caldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, has resolved to find true resolve by - or at least during - the New Year. “No two ways about it," said Christian, his resolve...
A local man has written a Spoof story about the many Spoof stories recently appearing in The Spoof that are being written with headlines including the word Man. "I was inspired by all these stories with titles like Local Man Buys New Toaster, Man...
Minnesota. News reporters rushed to the home of Jonathan Smith last Tuesday, after he allegedly told trusted friend and co-worker, Susan Clemens, that he felt he was past his prime as a writer and that it was time to move on with his life. Jonath...
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