Nigerian zombie, Winston St George Ndead was recovering this morning in Burnley General Hospital following a ferocious attack upon his person by a group of drunken humans on Yorkshire Street in the town centre. Bystanders relate that Winston was m...
DEADWOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA - Thousands of black-gowned, fang-toothed counter-culturists, all unified by the desire to be recognized by mainstream, so called "natural phenomenalists", gathered in this appropriately named town in the Black Hills of South D...
Undead United 94 Zombie FC 0 - Spoof sports reporter, SKOOB1999, managed to speak to United Manager, Davey Locker, before he went back into the freezer. SKOOB: "You have won by a comfortable margin, was it your tactics"? Locker: "No, every...
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur, Ali Bullo today announced that he has reluctantly banned Freddie The Zombie from a kebab van in Park Gate. Freddie The Zombie, who has until recently proved quite popular with the locals, has been...
In the latest twist in the ongoing saga that is the fifth film in the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil: Retribution, half the cast were rushed to hospital in Toronto last night. "We were filming a zombie scene," said stunt director, Nick Powell...
St. Paul's Seventh annual zombie pub crawl turned into a night of horror Saturday evening when nearly a dozen Elvis impersonators descended upon the reveling crowd and opened fire with gold-plated guns and jewel-encrusted swords. "Aim for the head! Aim for the head," they cried. The group, a Twin Cities faction of the TCB (Taking Care of Business) Brigade, claimed to be under the direct co...
Spoof news sites are being condemned and politicians are calling for an investigation after a recent fake story inspired a bunch of bored crack addicts to successfully bring Amy Winehouse back to life, which has baffled scientists and experts. Police...
Professor Fred Quatermass was apparently at it again this morning, as he advised NASA, the North Aberdeen Space Association, that it would be pretty pointless expecting the dead to rise again as reanimated zombies, in order to fend off an alien invas...
Megastar R&B Diva Amy Winehouse may have overdosed on the Haitian 'zombie drug' Scopolamine, reports are indicating. The 'Back to black' singer was well known for her misuse of illegal and dangerous substances that turned her from an attractiv...
Brad Pitt has been on location in Bognor Regis preparing to shoot scenes for his latest zombie film Bugger Bognor. The post-apocalyptic horror movie is based on the true story of retired deckchair attendant Ted Snivel who fought off flesh eating...
[Press Office, Number 10] The government today denied making a U-turn with regard the investigation of the brutal murder and body dumping of Dr. David Kelly, a nuclear weapons specialist and part-time Santa Claus at Debenhams. Announcing today th...
A lot of people have been asking me lately about Tombies. Some people have asked me "How can I tell if my local MP is a Zombie/Tory or just a normal Tory?" Others have asked me "How do I know that my Member of Parliament isn't going to eat me in my own home if I invite him in for a cup of tea?" The truth is, I just don't know. I don't know what to tell these poor people, but what I usually d...
Washington,D.C.-Just weeks after issuing a mock "Zombie Attack" alert the Department of Homeland Security has issued a real alert stating that an all out zombie attack is imminent. The official bulletin states: This is not a drill nor a mock ex...
Shaking that movie franchise tree one more time, Rob Zombie, director of the last movie in the Halloween Series, has recruited Home Alone child star Macaulay Culkin to reprise his role for one last romp with Michael Myers. Mixing holidays and movi...
A UK funeral parlour has vehemently protested over an advertising company sticking a billboard on their wall advertising a popular TV series about hunting zombies! The funeral parlour director, Damian Deadend (name changed for legal reasons), to...
It seems that our moon is heading towards earth and this universal spectacle could cause quite a few problems for terrestrial inhabitants, i.e. Tsunami's. earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, typhoons, hurricanes, etc. The biggest fear for scientists...
He landed the job a few weeks ago. Office clerk, it said in the advert. He was enjoying the atmosphere, and the people were nice. Far better than the packing job he had before. And he always got a bit extra off for his dinner hour, well that's how he saw it, anyway, because they sent him out for the sandwiches. It was a nice warm day, so he decided to take the longer route, through the pa...
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