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Funny satire stories about Thanksgiving

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Funny story: Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Rejects

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Rejects

NEW YORK CITY - Every year literally hundreds of bands, drill teams, and other marching units that request to participate in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade are turned down. Millie Ninnyweather, 63, is the executive director of The Macy...

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Funny story: Twenty Little-Known Uses for Leftover Thanksgiving Food

Twenty Little-Known Uses for Leftover Thanksgiving Food

20. A roll: Feed all the contestants on "Americas Next Top Model." 19. Green bean casserole: Add another layer of hilarity to the whoopee cushion planted for Monday's staff meeting! 18. Gravy: Surprise snowball centers! 17. Drumstick: Great for beating your timid Democratic congressman over the head with. 16. Turkey carcass: Just a coat of Krylon away from being a sturdy battle...

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Funny story: Turkey Denounces Thanksgiving Grace and ...Pornos!?

Turkey Denounces Thanksgiving Grace and ...Pornos!?

Turkeys have been conflicted recently in a battle between their long held secular, militarist traditions and recently elected more religious leaders and their liberal allies. The spiritual gurus of the latest ascendancy have compromised with the riv...

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Funny story: Britney goes cold turkey for Thanksgiving: her and the kids have a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving dinner of buttered toast, popped corn, chips, pretzels and jelly beans

Britney goes cold turkey for Thanksgiving: her and the kids have a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving dinner of buttered toast, popped corn, chips, pretzels and jelly beans

Hollywood, California - As per her court order, Britney spent Thanksgiving morning with her kids. However, not having the time to prepare and cook the traditional bird for Thanksgiving dinner, having only a few hours to spend with them, Britney turne...

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Funny story: President Forgets To Pardon 49,999,998 Other Turkeys

President Forgets To Pardon 49,999,998 Other Turkeys

WAHSINGTON, Nov. 20 -- In the 60th annual pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House, President Bush kept with a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 49,999,998 turkeys prior to the holiday. Two turkeys named May...

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Funny story: Turnips Ignored Again This Thanksgiving

Turnips Ignored Again This Thanksgiving

Millions of Americans ignored Turnips again this year, turning their attention to much more popular and better tasting food at the Thanksgiving table.

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Funny story: And A Happy Thanksgiving To You! IN JAIL!

And A Happy Thanksgiving To You! IN JAIL!

Well, maybe you don't need to go to jail to have a happy Thanksgiving, but I was feeling quite Mr. Potterish today, as the GD season of peace and love creeps into my butt.

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Funny story: "Get stuffed" this holiday; advice from voluptuous fitness guru, Cloy Bauer

"Get stuffed" this holiday; advice from voluptuous fitness guru, Cloy Bauer

Today show nutritionist, fitness guru and founder of the Cloy Fit club, Cloy "the joy of epicurean and gluttonous behavior" Bauer says that Thanksgiving doesn't have to be feast or famine as long as you follow her advice: * Wake up in the morning on Thanksgiving Day and have lots of passionate sex on. Nobody has to be at work, and, sex lasting long enough, can stimulate yo...

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Funny story: Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Bush mixes up Tom Turkey's Presidential pardon with "Scooter" Libby's and vice versa

Washington, D.C. - Immediately before issuing the customary seasonal Presidential pardon to this year's White House turkey in the Rose Garden before a wall of flashing lights of the press pool, Bush just walked out of the West Wing where he issue...

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Funny story: Preparations Begin For The Most Important Holiday Of The Year: American Thanksgiving

Preparations Begin For The Most Important Holiday Of The Year: American Thanksgiving

LONDON - The fourth Thursday of November is nearly upon us and with it comes the most important holiday of the year: American Thanksgiving.

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Funny story: Mayflower Society To Stage Thanksgiving Day Re-enactment - Indians Protest Day of Mourning

Mayflower Society To Stage Thanksgiving Day Re-enactment - Indians Protest Day of Mourning

MASSACHUSETTS - In a scene out of 17th century America, Thanksgiving Day re-enacters from the Mayflower Society dressed in full costume gathered at a church on the site of the Pilgrims' original meeting house and re-enacted events of 300 years ag...

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Funny story: Awesome Jupiter to wreak Thanksgiving havoc for Panspermia's Cult of the Snake

Awesome Jupiter to wreak Thanksgiving havoc for Panspermia's Cult of the Snake

Constellation of Sagittarius, Southern Hemisphere/Milky Way - (ReuterUs): They came at the dawn of time from the arsehole end of the universe, the Constellation of Ophiuchus - also known as Serpentarius - which gave them their adopted name of the Cul...

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Funny story: Candid Yams Contain a Natural Form of Truth Serum, Scientists Say

Candid Yams Contain a Natural Form of Truth Serum, Scientists Say

PALO ALTO, Calif. -- Scientists at Leland Stanford Junior University announced today a discovery that may explain why so many Thanksgiving dinners go downhill so fast and end so unpleasantly.

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Funny story: Rachael Ray Has Thirty Minute Breakdown

Rachael Ray Has Thirty Minute Breakdown

The Seattle Times said it was bound to happen: Rachael Ray has thirty minute breakdown. After whipping up meals on a nightly basis in just thirty minutes for the last five years, including a hour long Thanksgiving supper, Ms. Ray collapsed behind her...

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