HOLLYWOOD - Lions Door Pictures in association with Tri-Moon Films has just announced that noted director Bellanino Terrabini will be directing Stacy Keibler in the tennis film Orgasmic Tennis Court Grunting - The Maria Sharapova Story. The title...
The US women's open final this year was full of thrills and spills and they had nothing to do with the tennis after Sam Stosur (a real woman by the way despite her butch name) trounced Serena Williams 6-2, 6-3. But as usual Serena stole the show and...
with Prince Constantin Ferdinand Maria of Liechtenstein, Winner Of "Landlocked Royalty Goat Fancier Of The Year 2003" "Salutations, gentle goat-lovers. Here are some of my favourite facts about the goats. I trust that you will enjoy them." 1) I knew a woman once who was interested in goat husbandry. She wanted to marry a goat. 2) Goat breeding is quickly learned. You can pick it up on...
SHERMAN OAKS - It is no secret by now that Charlie "Fruit Salad" Sheen is to common sense what Sarah Palin is to geography. The two know deep down inside that they are in all actuality perfect examples of the term invented years ago by then Vice-P...
London - The mood is grim in SW19 tonight as tennis governing body officials begin studying footage of the Men's Singles Finals win. And reigning champion Rafael Nadal may yet be reinstated as the horrible truth of his Serb victor's delaying tacti...
As Britain's annual love affair with lawn tennis came to its usual unrewarded end on Sunday, there were sounds of laughter emanating from SW19. "Oh, I love it," says EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas. "Every year it's the sa...
The untimely exit of UK No 1 tennis player, Andy Murray, from this year's Wimbledon, has been laid at the feet of Bassett's the sweet maker, by fans of the Scottish tennis star. Wilma Scorelift, chair of the Andy Murray supporters club said that t...
Wimbledon, England: After viewing the first set of Wimbledon's semi-finals between Rafael Nadal and Andrew Murray, the Queen leaned over to her gentleman in waiting seated to her left and was overheard to inquire: Why did Mr. Nadal repeatedly appeare...
Police in full riot gear are struggling to maintain order in Burnley, Lancashire, as fans of Russian tennis star, Maria Sharapova went on the rampage, following their heroine's Wimbledon Ladies Singles Final defeat to Czech, Petra Kvitova. The tro...
Wimbledon, which some think is mostly a British event, has come under a barrage of new international scrutiny for by the IAFA, the International Armpit Fetish Association. Ivan Pectoralva, president of the IAFA announced that tennis is the greate...
It's official - Burnley, Lancashire, has come down with a severe case of Sharapove mania. Unemployed wasters in the town - famous for having Britain's cheapest house - have taken to Maria Sharapova, and huddle around TV sets whenever the Russian tenn...
The only British man who is any good at tennis lost today to one of the many, many blokes who just happen to be better than him at it. "He lost well", said Susan Crochet, tennis correspondent of The Daily Middlebrow "he lost to the standard we've...
Maria Sharapova, Queen of the grunting Queens, has made her comeback, turned up the volume once more and reached the Wimbledon final. The other three semi-finalists also drove the crowds bananas with their grunting too and they all just happened t...
Maria Sharapova, who yesterday reached the Wimbledon Women's Singles final for the first time since 2004, after beating the German wildcard, Sabine Lisicki, has announced that she will play Saturday's match against Petra Kvitova wearing a pair of cro…
Andy Murray eased past Spain's Feliciano Lopez to reach his third successive Wimbledon Men's semi-final, and set up another meeting with Rafael Nadal, who was said to be shitting himself at the prospect. British number one Murray dominated from th...
Long regarded as being an over the hill nation, oft derided by its many detractors, lampooned for its relaxed immigration policies, mocked for failing to keep the 21st Century pace, its broken infrastructure, its lack of any significant military or i...
Not since the days when John McEnroe roamed the turf at Wimbledon has so much controversy been heard of. When he complained that "the ball was definitely in!" There was room for human error. However, within a decade all that changed and the decisions...
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