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Funny satire stories about Sport

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Funny story: The hunt is on for the seven billionth human

The hunt is on for the seven billionth human

According to the world census, the seven billionth person will be born on October thirty-first. The hunt is on for this yet-to-be-baby. "We're hoping it won't be in some remote Amazonian village," said World Census co-ordinator, Jean Heyus. "We've...

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Funny story: Steve Davis not Ginger

Steve Davis not Ginger

Snooker legend Steve Davis has sensationally revealed he dyes his hair ginger. The popular potter who won a lot of matches way back said 'I needed an angle. Ray Reardon looked like Dracula, Dennis Taylor had his comedy glasses and Alex Higgins wa...

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Funny story: Richard Keys Discovered To Be Missing Link

Richard Keys Discovered To Be Missing Link

A doctor has discovered that disgraced former Sky Sports anchor, Richard Keys, is in fact more ape than man. The discovery came when the fifty year old was undergoing his routine hair removal procedure. The doctor, who has been treating Mr. Keys f...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight Planning Own Olympics for 2012

Isle of Wight Planning Own Olympics for 2012

Sadly not one resident living on the Isle of Wight was successful in buying tickets to attend the 2012 Olympic Games to be held in London, England. Many residents will be watching the games on their televisions but in order to get that true 'Olympic feeling', Mayors of many towns and villages on the Isle have decided to host The Isle of Wight Games 2012. They are presently taking suggestions...

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Funny story: Drug shame threatens future of Tour de Farce

Drug shame threatens future of Tour de Farce

ORGANISERS of the prestigious Tour de Farce cycle race are considering how to save the event following revelations that two unnamed cyclists have tested negative for performance enhancing drugs. It has been alleged that officials were aware of the...

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Funny story: England voted best country in the world

England voted best country in the world

In a recent, totally impartial survey by English people, England was overwhelmingly voted as the best country in the world. One of the reasons England scored so high was our inventive skills. Amongst many other things, we invented time. Without time nothing else could be invented, so by default we pretty much invented everything. We invented America, Australia, and Canada, (apart from the sh...

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Funny story: Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

Britain Bestrides the World - In Slacks

The nation consoled itself today in the face of mounting sporting setbacks by proudly acknowledging the one area of sport where British dominance is unchecked. Recent evidence that the nations footballers, tennis players, rugby players, track athl...

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Funny story: Britain: Has-Been Nation Flexes Sporting Muscles

Britain: Has-Been Nation Flexes Sporting Muscles

Long regarded as being an over the hill nation, oft derided by its many detractors, lampooned for its relaxed immigration policies, mocked for failing to keep the 21st Century pace, its broken infrastructure, its lack of any significant military or i...

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Funny story: Howard Caught in Ferguson's Webb

Howard Caught in Ferguson's Webb

The Football Association may finally have to take action against Howard Webb after it came to light that his relationship with Utd manager Ferguson is closer than it ought to be. I was contacted by private investigators hired by an unnamed collec...

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Funny story: When and where exactly was the grass greener?

When and where exactly was the grass greener?

Ahead of Andy Murray's charge to inevitable victory in this summer's Wimbledon the sometimes British though primarily Scottish tennis star is showing the perfect form in the build up. Murray became the first player from these shores, since the la...

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Funny story: Exercise Found to Be Most Useless Skill in World of Work

Exercise Found to Be Most Useless Skill in World of Work

LONDON - A study of over 3000 employees and workplaces found out that, out all the lessons on the UK education curriculum, P.E./Games ranks last in importance. "What will it do for me?" said Dr. Castel, who paused to work out the cosine of 0.34 in...

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Funny story: Six Nations Italian Rugby Team Manager Promises 'Fight' Against France

Six Nations Italian Rugby Team Manager Promises 'Fight' Against France

Nick Mallett, manager of the Italian national rugby team, has promised a 'fight' against France this weekend. Italy who have lost 29 out of 34 games under Mallett, are facing a challenge on Saturday. They have lost at home to France for the last n...

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Funny story: London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

The International Olympic Committee is facing a major crisis with the news that Iran may boycott London 2012 because of "inherent racism in the organisation". Iranian Olympic President Mohammad Aliabadi has made an official complaint to the IOC as...

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Funny story: 447 Essential Excuses for Golfers' Revealed

447 Essential Excuses for Golfers' Revealed

Excuses that you can tell when you have played a bad shot, or your playing badly Our ace spoof Gazette Sports columnist Dense, has scoured the web, and visited many many golf clubroom bars over the last few weeks, in his dedicated mission to amass a comprehensive list of 'Excuses for Golfers', as printed here. Unfortunately, he is now broke from buying the golfers drinks, and an alcoholic, but...

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Funny story: "Women can be referee assistants, so long as they're skinny" says Kenneth Tong.

"Women can be referee assistants, so long as they're skinny" says Kenneth Tong.

Kenneth Tong wade into the Sky Sports row yesterday after commenting that women can "become assistant referees, as long as they're skinny". Both Richard Key and Andy Gray have been much maligned for numerous sexist comments, including Key allege...

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Funny story: Queen's sporting advice

Queen's sporting advice

Her Majesty, Elizabeth, The Queen has delivered her annual Christmas message. In it she placed considerable emphasis on the role sport plays in our national psyche. She noted that when Man U play Manchester City rival fans get together to abuse an...

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Funny story: Tony McCoy's 2010 BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Award Shows Public's Complete Lack Of Interest In Sport

Tony McCoy's 2010 BBC Sports Personality Of The Year Award Shows Public's Complete Lack Of Interest In Sport

There were grave concerns over the public's distinct and complete lack of interest in 'real sport' this morning, after Grand National winner Tony McCoy was voted the 2010 BBC Sports Personality of the Year. For those who didn't know, the Grand Nat...

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