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Funny story: Scottish FA To Consider Removing Saltire From Jerseys

Scottish FA To Consider Removing Saltire From Jerseys

After the Grampian Fire and Rescue Service (GFRS) chiefs removed Saltires from the grill of two fire appliances following complaints that they were offensive, Scottish football bosses are set to consider taking a similar stance with the national team...

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Funny story: Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...

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Funny story: Quentin Kelp MP - A Drop of Scotch

Quentin Kelp MP - A Drop of Scotch

Dear Constituents I had a very hectic weekend, utterly spoilt by my wife insisting I attend the wedding of her niece to a man who hails from Edinburgh. As we all know, Scots are well known for being careful with their money but how low they can stoop was brought home to me when I was given a handful of confetti to throw. It was dirty. Whilst I waited in the car for the reception to f...

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Funny story: Salmond Accepts Defeat in Scottish Referendum Negotiations

Salmond Accepts Defeat in Scottish Referendum Negotiations

A deal setting out terms for a Scottish independence referendum was signed today by Prime Minister David Cameron and First Minister Alex Salmond. The settlement followed months of hard negotiations in which Mr. Salmond was finally forced to accept w...

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Funny story: Scots - The mothers of invention?

Scots - The mothers of invention?

Following last weeks extraordinary revelations made by Sean Connery and Alex Ferguson that the Scots invented the world and the wind, during their love-in with Andy Murray, we asked you yesterday how much you know about Scottish inventions? Here are the answers. How did you do?? Anaesthetics. TRUE Most doctors are Scots and still employ the technique of putting patients to sleep by droning...

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Funny story: Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Moldova 0 England 5 Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines. I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova. Scotland 0 Serbia 0 Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games. He was wrong.

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Funny story: New explanation for the Pennines

New explanation for the Pennines

A controversial new theory has been unveiled to provide a new reason for the Pennines, the range of hills in the UK that are home to - at any one time - three thousand lost ramblers. The mainstream theory is that Scotland banged into England, and...

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Funny story: Former PM Gordon Brown Timed At Edinburgh Running Faster Than Usain Bolt!

Former PM Gordon Brown Timed At Edinburgh Running Faster Than Usain Bolt!

Following Monday's sprint onto the stage by former Prime Minister Gordon Brown to speak against Scottish independence at the International book festival in Edinburgh, Mr Brown said today that he would only consider running for gold at the 2016 Olympi...

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Funny story: Football Results & comments 15th August 2012

Football Results & comments 15th August 2012

International Friendlies England 2 Italy 1 England gained revenge for their Euro 2012 with a victory over the Azurri. The match was played in the Wankdorf Stadium in Berne, Switzerland. With a stadium name like that it's a surprise Wayne Rooney and John Terry weren't in the squad. Scotland 3 Australia 1 The Scots beat the mighty Australians to move up to 3rd in the Cricket World Rankings.

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Funny story: Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland's outspoken and opinionated First Minister, Alex Salmond, has courted controversy by insisting Scotland will field its own Olympic team at the 2016 Rio Games. Salmond, who is convinced Scotland will have departed the UK by 2016, has insis...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg. HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2 Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team. Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0 Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 5th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 5th August 2012

Northern Premier League side Kendal United have signed a sponsorship deal with a company which makes fake beards. (Metro) Handy for the manager if he needs to sneak away without giving a press conference after a bad defeat. Celtic goalkeeper Fraser Forster has likened HJK Helsinki's artificial surface, where the Scottish champions will perform on Wednesday, to playing in a car park. (Sunday...

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Funny story: Holyrood Cabinet Goes On Tour - Ministers In Fear Of Salmond's Tests

Holyrood Cabinet Goes On Tour - Ministers In Fear Of Salmond's Tests

Scottish ministers fear the savage retribution of their leader after their annual summer tour of the country during which they will hold meetings on Skye, and in Renfrew and Orkney. This will be the fifth consecutive year that the Cabinet has emba...

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Funny story: Irish lose their friendliest nation title...to the Scots

Irish lose their friendliest nation title...to the Scots

The world's friendliest people, the Irish, are no longer the world's friendliest people after a survey revealed that the Scottish are more friendly. "We have been sending the Scottish people on a friendliness course," said Hamish Bacon, Scottish F...

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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Buys Boyfriend Kanye West A $474,000 Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 For His Birthday

Kim Kardashian Buys Boyfriend Kanye West A $474,000 Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 For His Birthday

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian is still legally married to New Jersey Nets star Kris Humphries but apparently that did not stop her from buying her brand new "brofriend" Kanye West a very expensive car for his 35th birthday. Kim plucked down $47...

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Funny story: Euro 2012: Soccer pundit Alan Hansen scores own goal

Euro 2012: Soccer pundit Alan Hansen scores own goal

Football pundit Alan Hansen was mocked by fans today over his selections on the BBC website today for the tournament which starts on Friday. He named a top four to watch of Brazil, Scotland, West Germany and Yugoslavia. Brazil are ineligible f...

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Funny story: Scotland to be kicked out of UK

Scotland to be kicked out of UK

Scotland is to be ejected from the UK. In a totally unforeseen step, David Cameron has decided that Britain might do all right without Scotland after all. "The Scots have routinely expressed contempt for the rest of the UK, especially the English...

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