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Funny satire stories about Scientology

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Funny story: American Psychiatric Association and Scientologists Announce Merger

American Psychiatric Association and Scientologists Announce Merger

In a move that surprised many, the American Psychiatric Association and the Church of Scientology announced today that they are merging.

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Funny story: Paris Hilton 'ripe for Scientology detox'

Paris Hilton 'ripe for Scientology detox'

California - (Ass Mess): Attorneys acting for disconsolate wannabe somebody Paris Hilton are considering a last-ditch appeal against their client's custodial sentence imposed for DUI sentence violations following negotiations for the peroxide sla...

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Funny story: Seismic faultlines discovered under Scientologists' New Mexico landing strip

Seismic faultlines discovered under Scientologists' New Mexico landing strip

New Mexico - (Ass Mess): Seismologists have warned that landing strip markings etched into the New Mexico desert near the Scientologists' nuclear bunker housing L Ron Hubard's holy of holies correspond to newly discovered geophysical fault li...

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Funny story: Anna Nicole Smith's will 'leaves her $$$s to Scientology'

Anna Nicole Smith's will 'leaves her $$$s to Scientology'

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): An alternative will apparently drawn up on Anna Nicole Smith's instructions just days before her sudden demise leaves her entire estate 'real and contested' to the Church of Scientology according to documents fil...

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Funny story: BBC documentary shows Bush paid Scientology to frame top shrink

BBC documentary shows Bush paid Scientology to frame top shrink

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): A BBC documentary into forty years' frantic shielding of Hollywood sex predators by Scientology stealth plants is to be broadcast this week and will show that George Bush bankrolled the campaign to frame a top flight U...

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Funny story: Cruise to turn lavish LA $43m house into temple ahead of 2012 presidential bid

Cruise to turn lavish LA $43m house into temple ahead of 2012 presidential bid

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Tom Cruise is to demolish his brand new $43 million seven bedroomed LA townhouse and build a shrine to Xenhu in his bid to relaunch himself as Scientology's messiah incarnate ahead of a proposed 2012 White House presiden...

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Funny story: Scientology Center paying Penelope Cruz hush money?

Scientology Center paying Penelope Cruz hush money?

Los Angeles - (Dissassociated Press): Dusky, glamorous and utterly captivating Oscar-nominated beauty Penelope Cruz remains a steadfast enigma as the Hollywood press clamour to scoop the headlines of her imminent initiation into the Scientology cult.

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Converts Sherry Lansing To Scientology

Tom Cruise Converts Sherry Lansing To Scientology

The Academy Award for outstanding achievement was not the only thing Sherry Lansing received Oscar night in Hollywood. Insiders say Lansing converted to Scientology at Elton John's, After the Awards Party.

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Funny story: Scientology - The Religion For Rich People

Scientology - The Religion For Rich People

The Scientology 'religion' was founded in the 1940s by L. Ron. Hubbard, the sci-fi novelist, who famously said "There's a lot of money in religion, I should start my own."...

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Funny story: Beckham Rejects Cruise Scientology Offer

Beckham Rejects Cruise Scientology Offer

Hollywood midget and sofa-stomping weirdo Tom Cruise has failed in a bid to recruit new neighbour David Beckham to his infamous Scientology cult.

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Funny story: Scientology next for Beckham

Scientology next for Beckham

Madrid, Spain - (Ass Mess): Has-been football superstar David Beckham admitted today that he has been receiving coaching lessons ahead of a full-bling conversion ceremony into the cult of Scientology later this year after scoring a blinder in their P...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise's 2007 Resolution From Scientologist To Existentialist

Tom Cruise's 2007 Resolution From Scientologist To Existentialist

(Los Angeles--CA) Who was that little man coming out of a Starbucks on Wilshire Boulevard wearing a beret and shouting lines from Jean Paul Sartre's play "No Exit" mixed with profanity 2AM New Year's Day? According to TheSmokingGun.

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Funny story: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes slated to birth Anti-Christ

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes slated to birth Anti-Christ

Tom Cruise, recently appointed head of United Artists, and new bride Katie Holms have been penned in as the stars of their second biological reproduction, "Birth of the Anti-Christ".

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Funny story: 'Cruise defects' as Scientology unveils new £24m London temple

'Cruise defects' as Scientology unveils new £24m London temple

Old Queen Street, City of London - (Associated Mess): The Vicar at St Andrew's-by-the-Wardrobe church, the Rev Alan Griffin, is staying tight-lipped following UK press reports that a famous Holywood celebrity film actor has defected to his parish...

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Funny story: Bennifer parting causes temporal anomaly

Bennifer parting causes temporal anomaly

News of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's split has apparently caused a massive temporal anomaly in Brazil, causing near-deaths, bruises and some conversions to Scientology.

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