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Funny satire stories about Santa

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Funny story: Fingle Christmas Night (Clives writing compo)

Fingle Christmas Night (Clives writing compo)

Mr and Mrs Fingle sat quietly in their lounge. The Christmas tree lights sparkled, filling the room with soft colours. The only sound that could be heard was the clicked click of Mrs Fingles knitting needles as they came together to create another pullover for Mr Fingle. "Nearly time Ethel" said Mr Fingle. "Yers, I know dear, but let's wait till the last minute" replied Mrs Fingle. "Are...

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Funny story: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Marry at the North Pole

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Marry at the North Pole

A cool site for a wedding. In more ways than one, according to the happy couple. And a possible side effect, say Angie and Brad, is that many of the paparazzi (frozen turnips!) may choose to stay home. Ever since a Norwegian explorer married...

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Funny story: Santa in trouble with law

Santa in trouble with law

Nome, Alaska. In dramatic scenes here today, Father Christmas (otherwise known as Santa Claus) has been detained by Police on suspicion of being extremely inebriated while pursuing his annual delivery of Christmas presents to eager children all over...

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Funny story: The Scottish Santa Claus

The Scottish Santa Claus

There are few Christmas traditions more familiar and charming than hanging up a stocking for Father Christmas, leaving him a mince pie and a carrot for his reindeer. But things are done a bit differently in Scotland. There it is customary to leave out a drop of whisky and a few cans of Stella. The Scottish Santa needs fuel to keep him going through the long, dark and blurry Scottish night. H...

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Funny story: "Father Chrismas Is Real! I've Seen Him!" Insists Local Man

"Father Chrismas Is Real! I've Seen Him!" Insists Local Man

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a stunningly athletic Olympic gymnastics gold medallist and three time World Ker-Plunk champion, today shocked friends, family, neighbours, the media, and former boxing champion, Ricky Hatton, by declaring to the world...

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Funny story: Ten Comparisons between Santa Claus & David Cameron

Ten Comparisons between Santa Claus & David Cameron

The Comparisons between Santa and David Cameron 1. When the poor ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal, with Cameron, it's impossible. 2. Santa seldom answers the poor's you email, Cameron never answers the poor's emails. 3. Santa seldom answers the poor's mail, Cameron never answers the poor's mail. 4. Santa gets all the stuff he's got from k...

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Funny story: North Pole Opens Luxury Casino

North Pole Opens Luxury Casino

Nicknamed the Crystal Igloo, the 50,000 square foot facility with adjoining luxury hotel has opened its doors just in time for the holidays. Planned as an extreme getaway destination for wealthy jetsetters, the casino will also appeal to employees o...

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Funny story: Letters to Santa

Letters to Santa

Dear Santa, I would like a manufacturing sector for Christmas. We seem to have lost our old one. Thank you, David (Cameron) Herr Claus, I am not sure what to ask for this year - something to stop those South Europeans from badgering us for more money would be useful. Perhaps a Swiss bank account, or a big stick. Auf Weidersehen, Angela Monsieur Noel, For Christm...

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Funny story: Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Santa Banned at Social Centre in Nottingham

Officials at the Okoku Bantu Social Centre in Nottingham, have banned the traditional appearance of local Senior Citizen Willie Stroker this year. The new Centre manager Abdul-Bazeer Adabayor, explained: "We think that the appearance of Santa Clau...

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Funny story: Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail

Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail

North Pole lawyers were busy this week at the Elf County Courthouse, trying to arrange bail and some time sensitive freedom for Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen, three of Santa's primary reindeer team. Judge Judy Friesfrost denied an early release based on...

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Funny story: Father Christmas jumps off the Forth Bridge!

Father Christmas jumps off the Forth Bridge!

Father Christmas, the real one, has committed suicide by jumping off of the Forth Bridge a week before the annual binge takes place. He left a suicide note attached to his shiny black boots. He also requested that the RSPCA take care of Rudolph a...

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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief

Twitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief

What a disgrace! At the annual Twitter holiday party, many of the birdies drank too much. Way too much. Some were still in jail the next day, having been arrested for FUI (Flying Under the Influence) violations on the way home. Onlookers w...

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Funny story: John Boehner Kills 'Share Christmas With Your Senator'

John Boehner Kills 'Share Christmas With Your Senator'

Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives. "We're giving a big 'bah humbug' to that idea," said House Sp...

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Funny story: Santa's coat is red - RED WITH BLOOD!

Santa's coat is red - RED WITH BLOOD!

Santa is in trouble after a whistleblower exposed Santa's operation as an illegal glacé cherry producer. However, the cherries are not quite as they seem; glacé cherries are not made from cherries but are really the noses of baby reindeer who carry...

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Funny story: The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip

The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip

The Christmas gift company Christmas Bells & Whistles has just mailed out its yearly catalog which contains over 16,000 Christmas gifts, including 97, which are brand new for the 2011 holiday season. The catalog contains over 700 pages and lists everything from armadillo shaped Christmas cookie cutters to green and red stripped zebra pajamas. One of last years biggest sellers was the Ho...

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Funny story: Letters to Santa

Letters to Santa

Angela Merkel: Dear Santa Claus, please bring me a new jacket. I fear that should I giggle when next Nicky (Sarkozy) tickles me, I will pop a button. Even two or three. President Sarkozy: Dear Père Noël, please bring me an inflatable doll but the doll must be as sexy as my dear little angel - Angela Merkel. She's German, but not to worry about that - Hitler's dead after all. Pope Benedict: D...

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Funny story: Santa Claus May Have Cheated on the Missus

Santa Claus May Have Cheated on the Missus

The rumors of holiday hanky panky are flying faster than Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Several tabloids are reportedly ready to publish motel records from all over the world that would show Santa to be an unfaithful spouse. Some say the rumors...

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