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Funny story: Lionel Messi Anagram Found!

Lionel Messi Anagram Found!

Barcelona's Lionel Messi scored two late goals as his team eventually wore down the resistance of fellow Spaniards Real Madrid in their Champions League semi-final first leg last night. Messi was the difference between the two sides in a bad-tempe...

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Funny story: Some royal bridesmaids dubbed pug-ugly freaks

Some royal bridesmaids dubbed pug-ugly freaks

London - "You shouldn't call them freaks," protocol watchers seethed with ire as little Grace Van Cutsem and Lady Louise Windsor performed in public today. Yet it's hard to find kind words to describe some of the inbreds at today's royal gravy tra...

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Funny story: Huw Edwards Royal Wedding Commentary Hospitalises Thousands

Huw Edwards Royal Wedding Commentary Hospitalises Thousands

BBC commentator and Royal correspondent Huw Edwards was today blamed by NHS officials for a massive upsurge in hospital admissions with people suffering from severe cases of nausea, stomach cramps, and the screaming shits. Apparently, Huw's fawnin...

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Funny story: New royal title sees William named after notorious East End pub

New royal title sees William named after notorious East End pub

London - Some patrons at the Duke of Cambridge public house on Whitechapel Road were too arseholed to notice it, of course. But barman Dave Skagliss was the first to point out to TV reporters today that it's a sign of new-found respectability for...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding Makes Impact on First Family; Michelle Orders Carriage!

Royal Wedding Makes Impact on First Family; Michelle Orders Carriage!

White house spokesman James Corny (sic) said Michelle Obama found the Royal Wedding so moving, so emotional, and so stirring, she has demanded the President order a carriage....and hats, lots of hats...and a uniform...with a sword! Speaking off...

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Funny story: Pippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage

Pippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage

London - "At this stage we simply don't know if they're surgical implants," one ogler commented, "or polystyrene slip-ins, part of some designer thong. "Still, it's the only sartorial topic on most blokes' minds, like, watching Pip sashay up the A...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding - Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Sent To McDonald's Drive Thru As Guests Scoff The Lot

Royal Wedding - Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Sent To McDonald's Drive Thru As Guests Scoff The Lot

Newsflash - Socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has just been sent from Buckingham Palace in the Royal landau to pick up a takeaway order from a drive-thru McDonald's in Neasden. Reports coming in, appear to suggest that the Royal Wedding guests have...

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Funny story: Noddy Holder Criticises Prince William's Wedding Socks

Noddy Holder Criticises Prince William's Wedding Socks

Noddy Holder, former frontman with Bilston based international supergroup, Slade today reacted angrily at what he called Prince William's appalling choice of Royal Wedding hosiery. "Them was just plain black!" Noddy Holder fumed. "What a blinkin'...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding Was Planned With Hitler In Mind

Royal Wedding Was Planned With Hitler In Mind

It's here! At last, after all the months of build-up and nervous excitement, the day of the Royal Wedding of Prince William and his beautiful bride Kate Middleton has finally arrived, and not before time! Or, as some might say, one day before time...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding Invites Rescinded

Royal Wedding Invites Rescinded

Behind the scenes drama threatened the Royal Wedding today with the news that some guests' invitations were withdrawn at the last minute on the grounds that it would have been "inappropriate for them to attend". The Uruguayan Ambassador to the UK...

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Funny story: Unofficial Royal Wedding Live Feed Schedule Released By Donald Trump

Unofficial Royal Wedding Live Feed Schedule Released By Donald Trump

London - With the wedding bells all but rung, many are wondering when Kate Middleton and Prince William will get down to brass tacks. While many think the Honeymoon Night has been completely hidden, I was there when Donald Trump today divulged he has...

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Funny story: Karmic echo of Adolf & Eva's bunker nuptials haunts William's Big Day

Karmic echo of Adolf & Eva's bunker nuptials haunts William's Big Day

London - "Expect an astrological tsunami to sweep the nation," London skywatchers said today ahead of Friday's Moon/Uranus conjunction of sudden, shocking events. The aspect marks the 66th anniversary of Hitler's wedding to Eva Braun in a marriage...

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Funny story: Kate mucks up marriage vows, marries Prince Phillip by mistake and becomes William's step grandmother - ma'am is furious

Kate mucks up marriage vows, marries Prince Phillip by mistake and becomes William's step grandmother - ma'am is furious

In a right royal debacle, Kate Middleton messed up her marriage vows, taking the name of her would-be father-in-law Prince Phillip instead of her fiancé Prince William. The Archbishop of Canterbury, who was performing the ceremony, continued, hop...

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Funny story: Squatters at Abbey Arrested

Squatters at Abbey Arrested

In a move predicted by some, the Police have moved in on squatters outside Westminster Abbey. 'This has nothing to do with the wedding' said Police Chief Bland (known to his mates as Blind) 'these people are taking over prime locations in London a...

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Funny story: Prince William and Catherine Middleton Vow Not to Take Lovers for Maybe Five to Ten Years in Elaborate Multi Million Dollar Ceremony

Prince William and Catherine Middleton Vow Not to Take Lovers for Maybe Five to Ten Years in Elaborate Multi Million Dollar Ceremony

London - A television audience anticipated to be in the hundreds of millions from across the civilized world tuned in today to play a part in the lavish royal marriage of Prince William and his beautiful bride Catherine Middleton. The ceremony, p...

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Funny story: Depression Sets In For Royal Wedding Followers

Depression Sets In For Royal Wedding Followers

A massive depression has set in for followers of the Royal wedding this Friday in London. Onlookers and spectators alike, some queuing for days along the planned route, have begun to accept the grim realisation that it will all be for a split seco...

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Funny story: Shock Royal Wedding Revelation - William Wants To Marry Kate Because She Looks Like Kristen Stewart!

Shock Royal Wedding Revelation - William Wants To Marry Kate Because She Looks Like Kristen Stewart!

Reports filtering through the bilge pumps suggest that the real reason Prince William was attracted to Kate Middleton is that she bears more than a passing resemblance to 'Twilight' star Kristen Stewart. Especially in 'New Moon.' Sources told u...

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