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Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

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Funny story: Stewart Sports New Hairstyle

Stewart Sports New Hairstyle

Kristen Stewart, alleged girlfriend of vampire heart throb Robert Pattinson, was seen by shocked fans this morning leaving a top LA hair salon with a new hairdo. Her new hairstyle was swiftly hidden under a cap, aupon seeing fans who had waited al...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Denies The Rumor That He And Sofia Vergara, Star of 'Modern Family' Were Canoodling Under The Stars At Malibu Beach

Rob Pattinson Denies The Rumor That He And Sofia Vergara, Star of 'Modern Family' Were Canoodling Under The Stars At Malibu Beach

MALIBU BEACH - The star of the Twilight motion pictures has recently been linked to the very gorgeously endowed Colombian actress Sofia Vergara. Vergara stars on the number one sit-com in America Modern Family. Earlier this year the show won four...

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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Admit That Their Sexting Has Made Their Relationship Stronger

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Admit That Their Sexting Has Made Their Relationship Stronger

HOLLYWOOD - The stars of the new movie The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder took a break from shooting the movie and spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight. Dobrev told de Gallo that the...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson To Star In New Guy Ritchie Movie

Robert Pattinson To Star In New Guy Ritchie Movie

Twilight sex symbol Robert Pattinson - who stars as star-crossed boy vampire Edwin Culvert in the Twilight movies about a hapless boy vampire whose fangs haven't come through because he's still got his milk teeth - is set to star in English director...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson And Rupert Grint Not Killed in Tragic Car Accident

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson And Rupert Grint Not Killed in Tragic Car Accident

Spokespersons for Twilight and Harry Potter teen movie idols, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint today moved extremely quickly to quash rumours that the famous fivesome had met a tragic demise in a car a...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Reveals His Secret Crush To Co-Stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder

Rob Pattinson Reveals His Secret Crush To Co-Stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder

HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson is starring with Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder in a motion picture which is based on their hit show The Vampire Diaries. The movie which is being directed by Manolo Middlezuck is entitled...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson To Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In The Film "The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie"

Robert Pattinson To Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In The Film "The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie"

HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight Saga movies, Robert Pattinson has just revealed his next motion picture project. RPattz spoke to Margarita Mixx, of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and told her that he has agreed to star in a movie based on the...

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Funny story: MTV Movie Awards - Downright Dirty - Timberlake And Kunis In Gropeathon

MTV Movie Awards - Downright Dirty - Timberlake And Kunis In Gropeathon

Critics today appeared to be pretty universal in their condemnation of the MTV Movie Awards at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, slamming the show for being 'downright dirty' and complaining about the persistent use of cuss words. The 'dirty' part occurre...

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Funny story: Joe Jonas Offers To Buy Robert Pattinson's Texas Ranch

Joe Jonas Offers To Buy Robert Pattinson's Texas Ranch

SAN FRANCISCO - Joe Jonas traveled to The Golden Gate City to relax after a grueling concert tour with his band the Jonas Brothers. He was relaxing down at the Fisherman's Wharf when he was approached by a reporter for iRumors Summersetter Faxx.

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Funny story: Princess Beatrice Has A Crush On Robert Pattinson - Wants To Co-Star With Him In A Twilight Movie

Princess Beatrice Has A Crush On Robert Pattinson - Wants To Co-Star With Him In A Twilight Movie

Hot news from the UK this morning is that Princess Beatrice, the daughter of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew, has a red hot crush on Hollywood heart throb, Robert Pattinson. And that she'd like nothing better than to star opposite him in a Twilig...

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Funny story: Princess Eugenie Prefers Taylor Lautner Over Robert Pattinson

Princess Eugenie Prefers Taylor Lautner Over Robert Pattinson

It seems that the younger British Royals can't get enough of Hollywood's finest! Following the revelation that Princess Beatrice (the one in the funny hat) longs to star opposite Robert Pattinson in a Twilight movie, we can now reveal that Princess E...

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Funny story: Twilight Stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In The Movie "A Week In Paradise - The Pippa Middleton-Ron Jeremy Story"

Twilight Stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In The Movie "A Week In Paradise - The Pippa Middleton-Ron Jeremy Story"

SOHO, England - Robert Pattinson, star of the Twilight Saga series of movies recently met with noted Italian producer/director Bandini Borrapelli. The two discussed the details of Pattinson appearing in his PG-13 rated movie based on a true story.

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Funny story: Guardian Reporter Sacked for Refusing to Write About Pattinson, Pippa, Piers, Pitt, Palin, Posh, The Prince or Kristen Stewart

Guardian Reporter Sacked for Refusing to Write About Pattinson, Pippa, Piers, Pitt, Palin, Posh, The Prince or Kristen Stewart

Rodney Hempstead, well known and respected 20 year veteran of The Guardian news service and more specifically, the Entertainment Section of the news desk, was unceremoniously sacked for refusing to write any more stories about popular celebrities who...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Reveals That Porn Star Ron Jeremy Has Dumped Pippa Middleton Who Quickly Runs Into The Arms of Twilight Star Robert Pattinson

Kristen Stewart Reveals That Porn Star Ron Jeremy Has Dumped Pippa Middleton Who Quickly Runs Into The Arms of Twilight Star Robert Pattinson

LOS ANGELES - The world's most infamous woman, Pippa Middleton, has just had her heart broken. The younger sister of Kate Middleton, who is now known as the Duchess of Cambridge, is reportedly devastated according to Paprika Pittfauster with The W...

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Funny story: Donald Trump, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens Search For Donald Trump's Toupee, While Zac Efron, Sandra Bullock, Ena Sharples and Postman Pat Consider Arnold Schwarzenegger's Cheating On Pam Shriver With Billie Jean King

Donald Trump, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens Search For Donald Trump's Toupee, While Zac Efron, Sandra Bullock, Ena Sharples and Postman Pat Consider Arnold Schwarzenegger's Cheating On Pam Shriver With Billie Jean King

It being not quite three strikes shy of the high time of it, down there on Blinko's Jetty, off the San Bastinado Freeway and then some, Donald Trump is and was having some serious issues with a corduroy windsock and a tame steeplejack named Jerzy Kandinsky (no relation). But you don't wanna know about all that. What you do wanna know about is hardly a subject fit for the table of a fine Thanksg...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Explains The Streetwalker Rumors

Robert Pattinson Explains The Streetwalker Rumors

NEW YORK CITY - The star of the Twilight Saga movies Robert Pattinson appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and explained the streetwalker rumors that have been running rampant. Pattinson disclosed to Morgan that it was all really just a misunderstandi...

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Funny story: Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Pippa Middleton: "Blue Will Get My Vote Over Jedward For Eurovision But Robert Pattinson Can Kiss My Ass And Kristen Stewart Can Keep Him"

Pertly perfect Pippa Middleton, who has turned a nostalgic nation's heads after her dashingly demure derriere was the star of the show at the recent Royal Wedding, is a real Eurovision fan, according to Lydia Fawne-Groveller, Editor of Society Journals Inbred and Chinless and Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lantern-Jawed Bankers To Breed More Posh Totty For Lanter...

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