Scotland: First Minister Alex Salmond today hit back at news agencies for describing the riots as English riots, the Scottish Premier was shocked to find out that no riots were going on in his beloved country, and has accused the media of an English...
London - "Don't blame this 'alien shit' for the breakdown of law and order," a Home Office spokesman snarled at crunchtime today. The fierce rebuttal comes amid multiple sightings of a rogue spacecraft dumping over urban hotspots. Historically...
LONDON, England: In scenes reminiscent of the Blitz, the populace of England are being terrorised by gangs of thugs. Norman Brennan the former British Transport Police officer and founder of the Victims of Crime Trust, has made this statement on na...
Relative calm was restored to the streets and dark alleys of London last night following the Reichstag-like fires across the Nation's capital just twenty-four hours earlier. Prime Minister David Cameron's made a cunning ploy to forewarn Monday ni...
Rich people all over England have been 'quaking in their boots' this morning after a girl interviewed by the BBC admitted that she had taken part in the London Riots to show those with businesses and the police, that the Poor People could do whatever...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, somewhat out of the loop recently, today caught up on the news of escalating violence across the UK, when he finished work. An amazed Shuttlecock, having recently resumed the joys of cycling, (Not that that's relevant)...
London - The Gloriana Madrigal Ensemble is up in arms tonight amid accusations their voice is being drowned out by some over-the-top public luting. Rival entertainers the Balham Balalaika Bollox - er...Luton Lute Society! - are set to play at a Wa...
London - Police have vowed to corral evil rioters with surgical kettling deploying electronic stun guns and water cannon combos to shock rampaging mobs. The 50,000-volt charges are said to respond extremely well to sodden clothing and lank locks i...
London, England. Monday. Police have finally developed a feasible plan to control or even cease the level of rioting and looting happening in the city streets today. Over the course of the last 48 hours, Metropolitan Police have devised a number of o...
London - A spate of nationwide arson attacks was being blamed today on dodgy 'bongs' similar to one that caused the 1666 Great Fire of London. Ministry of Skunk sources issued an immediate recall of the entire 'Zomby' range of imported hookahs fol...
Hot on the heels of the recent unrest in London, it has been reported that riots have now spread to Dublin. There were rumours last night that up to 3 pints of Guinness had been spilled in the past two hours in the centre of Dublin, and Irish Prim...
London, UK: After several days of rioting across London that have seen police cars burning on the streets of Tottenham and shop windows smashed in Brixton, the violence has spread to the more leafy and sedate boroughs of Richmond and Hampstead. Ey...
London - An Electric Avenue veteran of SW2's April 1981 riots has spoken of his concerns as London-wide mayhem reached Brixton Market last night. Commenting on the violent flare-up semi-retired 'greengrocer' Stanley Aikliss said market turmoil was...
Harry Redknapp's vocabulary has been looted and left for brown bread by tea leaves during the Tottenham riots. "The toe rags have half inched all my favourite words" said a down in the north and south 'Arry. Bundles of expressions, a collecti...
In the year before the flagship olympic games, London lies in flames. Tottenham burns...again... Is it any surprise that buses and businesses were burned out following a protest about the shooting of a man on Thursday by the Metropolitan Police?...
Charlie Gilmour, who, along with others, was arrested for rioting during the protests over student fees in December 2010, has been sentenced to 16 months in prison. This is for the more serious crime of being related to Dave Gilmour, guitarist with...
A leafy west London suburb was recovering after another night of violence today. Riot police had a long night trying to bring order to Chiswick after angry revellers went berserk after a golf club disco. The trouble apparently began at Wyke Gre...
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