LONDON, UK: The Health Ministry has issued more swine flu alerts and precautionary measures. The Health Secretary has said: "We are now asking Brits to avoid eating bacon butties - just to be on the safe side". A bitter Onslow Dole and his wife...
DES MOINES, IA - As the cases of Swine Flu continue to multiply around the globe, a parallel outbreak of Swine Flew is plaguing farmers and rural residents throughout the U.S. Iowa hog farmer David Lyons described the startling phenomena. "I came...
A former Royal Marines commando used his military skills to deal with a huge white pig running amok in a Kent town. The pig, a Shropshire Prescott, was seen running from pub to pub in the Bath Road area of Margate. Police gave chase, and former comma...
Greg Hands, a shadow Treasury minister made a formal complaint against Tony McNulty, the government work, and pensions pig. The shadow treasury piggy claimed that: "£60,000 of taxpayers' swill has been scoffed in expenses at Mr McNulty's parents...
A squadron of flying pigs are expected to save the Labour government at the next election. It is believed that as there are actually no policies the government is going to introduce extreme measures to survive. The flying pigs are just one of a numbe...
Pizza companies in the UK have recorded an impressive profit despite the ongoing 'crunch'. The downturn in the economy has meant that people are eating out less and deciding to stay in and chow down on fat covered dough instead. A noted scienti...
West Berkshire Council today ran out of road salt for the roads around Newbury, and resorted to a novel solution - vehicles fitted with tyres made solely from bacon. 'The bacon ploughs have been designed to get through the toughest conditions,' sa...
Tennis Superstar Rafael Nadal has revealed the secret agony that has afflicted him since breaking on the Tennis scene in 2005; he has a tiny pig lodged in his throat. The Majorcan Maestro,22,from Majorca shocked the Tennis and Pig world this morni...
The usually limit on litters in the animal kingdom is about eight. Normally this may come after previous broods but that usually means the previous offspring are off on their own. A Los Angeles mammal with the help of fertility experts from Frankenst...
Aberdeen - Local farmer Miles McDonough claims to be the first person in the world to teach a pig to speak English. Mr. McDonough made his claim on the weekend at the Jolly Friar Pub. Alec Goodwin from Guinness was there to certify the event a world...
Scientists working on a study in France have discovered that pigs in their experiments were not just making grunting sounds, but were actually speaking a little-used dialect from the area where they live! The extensive study, to examine the scient...
DUBLIN, Idaho - Sausage meat that ended up in animal feed could force farmers to destroy 10 pigs or goats, safety officials said Tomorrow as the Dublin Union advised that Indian restaurants did not need to ban Irish chicken. The Bus Safety Authori...
The Atlanta Falcons' kicker, Morten Andersen, the NFL's all-time leading scorer, has retired at the age of 48, an early casualty of the Irish Pork Crisis. The Danish kicker, who scored 2,544 points in a 25-year career, played for Atlanta in the p...
Crisis on the Emerald Isle this evening, as millions of pigs in Ireland claimed that the feed they are given is of a very poor quality indeed. One pig said: "It's effing swill!" At Mick Farm in Co. Donegal, several thousand pigs staged a pro...
County Downwind, Ireland - This lush Irish countryside, once brown as far as the eye could see with pig farms, now lies empty and desolate in the wake of the recent devastating tainted pork recall. The Irish government has acted quickly to recall...
London - (Royal Ass Mess): Toxic behavior by the lard-arsed Duchess of Pork's Provisional IRA pals may be behind the Queen sickening according to Palace medical sources. HM the Puppet Monarch was quarantined on Saturday night after a rasher (sic)...
Bored anoraks at Staffordshire University's Silly Science department at Stoke-on-Pork have been using dead pigs and geophysics to develop research that could help police find the buried remains of murder victims in unmarked graves faster after it was...
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