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Funny satire stories about Olympics

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Funny story: Bermuda's Highly Touted Ski Jumper Forgot To Pack His Skis

Bermuda's Highly Touted Ski Jumper Forgot To Pack His Skis

HAMILTON, Bermuda - Von Swinks is a hero to the people of Bermuda. Ever since he was 3-years-old he has dreamed of one day going to the Winter Olympics and representing his country in the world games. Since there was no snow in Bermuda, Swinks fo...

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Funny story: Bandy Being Bandied About For 2016 Winter Olympics

Bandy Being Bandied About For 2016 Winter Olympics

SOCHI, RUSSIA - The greatest winter sport most people have never heard of is being bandied about as the next new winter Olympics event. To date, 29 countries, including Somalia and the U.S. have bandy federations. The first recorded games of ba...

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Funny story: Icelandic curling champ enroute to games of a lifetime

Icelandic curling champ enroute to games of a lifetime

Norse Norsemanson, Reykjavikian athlete extraordinaire is pumped about competing in the Sochi,Russia Winter Olympics. "I've looked forward to going up against the best sweepers the world has to offer for a long time now." Norsemanson said in a...

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Funny story: Chicagoan uses unusual style in procuring Olympic berth

Chicagoan uses unusual style in procuring Olympic berth

Local man Vic Flannerty is using his native Chi-Town wits to get himself to the Winter Games in Russia. Some time ago, it occurred to him that his adeptness with guns could lead to a place on the "Biathlon" team for this years Olympics. Th...

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Funny story: Calls For Mandatory Use of Helmets In Professional Boxing

Calls For Mandatory Use of Helmets In Professional Boxing

Tonight's World Heavyweight Championship bout between Eugene 'Swarfega hands' Smalls and Louis 'The Lepor' Trunks ended in farce as Smalls attempted to strum the tune to 'The Ballad of Richard Nixon' by John Denver and Trunks began some kind of upsid...

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Funny story: President Putin Has Told Kim Jong Un That The North Korean Olympic Team Will Not Be Allowed To Enter Russia

President Putin Has Told Kim Jong Un That The North Korean Olympic Team Will Not Be Allowed To Enter Russia

MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin spoke to the Russian people and told them that he was going to relax his stand on not allowing gays to participate in the Olympic games at Sochi, Russia. He stated that as long as they do not act gay they will be...

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Funny story: Russia's President Putin Now Says He Will Allow Gays At The Olympics But Only If They Don't Act Gay

Russia's President Putin Now Says He Will Allow Gays At The Olympics But Only If They Don't Act Gay

MOSCOW - Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich, has announced that President Vladimir Putin has relaxed his stand on gays at the Sochi Winter Olympics. President Putin at first had said that gays would be banned from the Olympics, but now he ha...

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Funny story: President Obama to Reinvent the Wheel

President Obama to Reinvent the Wheel

Special to TPN - After the resounding success of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare), President Obama has decided to launch a new effort to reinvent the wheel. Leading this initiative will be former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, best known for hav...

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Funny story: Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Olympic officials have been asking themselves if Marijuana should be outright banned for all athletes who plan to participate in the Olympic games, now that it has become more accepted and legal in certain parts of the world. Speculation has risen...

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Funny story: Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Jenner is 63, and he has said on several occasions that he is tired of playing the little submissive husband to the Kardashian Klan director or operations Kris Kardashian-Jenner. It is no secret in LaLaLand that Kris wears the pa...

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Funny story: Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...

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Funny story: Olympian Gives Birth On Trampoline

Olympian Gives Birth On Trampoline

A Russian gymnast, in training for the upcoming Olympic Games, went into labour on a trampoline yesterday giving birth to a bouncing baby boy. Unaware that she was pregnant, Elena Kulakov had been carrying on with her demanding training regime in...

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Funny story: Protests Over New Olympic Sport: Synchronized Sweating

Protests Over New Olympic Sport: Synchronized Sweating

The decision by the International Olympic Committee to drop wrestling from the Games and replace it with synchronized sweating has triggered a wave of protests around the athletic world. "This is a slap in the face for all the serious sports that...

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Funny story: Area Man a little concerned Nike only now withdrawing Pistorius endorsement

Area Man a little concerned Nike only now withdrawing Pistorius endorsement

PHILADELPHIA, PA--Area man William Kevol expressed dismay today that Nike had only withdrawn its endorsement of Olympic gold medalist and accused murderer Oscar Pistorius Tuesday, noting than a murder charge should be "one of those things you get imm...

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Funny story: Olympic decision on wrestling linked to Mel Brooks' film

Olympic decision on wrestling linked to Mel Brooks' film

The world of sports was shocked on Tuesday when it was announced that the 2020 games will be held without the sport of wrestling, removing it as one of the 26 "core sports", even though the sport is steeped in tradition going back to the ancient game...

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Funny story: Olympics Drops Medal Awards from 2014 Games

Olympics Drops Medal Awards from 2014 Games

It has been announced that medals will no longer be handed out to finalists in the 2014 games. The decision was applauded by television networks and ushers in a new era for the aging sports franchise. The decision to halt medal awards was voted o...

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Funny story: Boris Gudenuf for London Mayor again

Boris Gudenuf for London Mayor again

Londoners have shown their Masonite enabling love of the true blue yet again by electing the mop top Tory blond Boris Gudenuf for another turd, or is that term? The leather faced goodbye boy Lank Kivington said it had been a good blow job by blow...

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