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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: Apple surgically extracted from Rush's posterior

Apple surgically extracted from Rush's posterior

Washington DC - After announcing the success of his "make it fail" program, Rush celebrated on air by swallowing a whole apple. At first he felt fine. Then the listeners heard sirens as Rush was rushed to the hospital for surgery. Rush is in fine...

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Funny story: NASA reveals why Americans and Brits are obese

NASA reveals why Americans and Brits are obese

NASA's global gravity survey satellite launched last month has revealed why Americans and the British are classified as becoming more obese than other nations, while continents like Africa have more skinny people. "They have mapped in fine detail...

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Funny story: Big Oil tycoons' post-Sandy pledge of $10 million for each pound of ass-lard that Chris Christie loses in next 12 months

Big Oil tycoons' post-Sandy pledge of $10 million for each pound of ass-lard that Chris Christie loses in next 12 months

New Jersey - "And a further $10 million for each pound that stays off for the following year," is how the couple's spokesperson put it as the news broke that homeless post-Sandy New Jersey residents stand to benefit from millions of dollars in hurric...

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Funny story: Six months before Mayor Bloomberg's soda ban takes effect, high-volume "Soft-Drink Speakeasies" appear all over New York City

Six months before Mayor Bloomberg's soda ban takes effect, high-volume "Soft-Drink Speakeasies" appear all over New York City

Brooklyn--Less than five days after New York City's Board of Health voted 8-0 in favor of Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz., "soda-pop speakeasies'' began sprouting up all over the five boroughs. "It started as a joke...

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Funny story: Fat Kids Are A Problem

Fat Kids Are A Problem

A fascinating study has concluded that 56% of mums don't know what their kids weigh. All of this after watching another government funded study waste even more money! Back and to the Left approached a Government scientist, offered him an Aero and got...

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Funny story: Fighting Obesity: NYC Mayor Bans Double D Breasts from Breast-Feeding

Fighting Obesity: NYC Mayor Bans Double D Breasts from Breast-Feeding

Dozens of New York City hospitals are instructing mothers of newborns about the myriad benefits of breast milk and to urge them to breast-feed their infants instead of resorting to substandard formulas. "Not only is it healthier than commercial alte...

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Funny story: Obama Administration Introduces the NOFAT Program

Obama Administration Introduces the NOFAT Program

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Carney announced a new Obama administration initiative to reduce obesity in the USA in the next four years via the No Obese Fat American Taxpayer (NOFAT) Program. President Obama got the idea for the NO...

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Funny story: Fears for Olympic Torch's Regent's Canal barge trip as Camden Mayor 'tips the scales at around 35 stone'

Fears for Olympic Torch's Regent's Canal barge trip as Camden Mayor 'tips the scales at around 35 stone'

London - The latest leg of the Olympic Torch relay is looking doomed amid elf n safety fears for its Regent's Canal lap of honour. The grossly obese Mayor of Camden insists on accompanying the Games totem despite predictions 'she'll sink the barge...

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Funny story: Bloomberg to Set Sights on Little Italy in Anti-Obesity Campaign

Bloomberg to Set Sights on Little Italy in Anti-Obesity Campaign

After easily pushing through his ban on sugar sodas as part of his War on Obesity, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is now considering closing down the popular restaurant district of Little Italy. Bloomberg claims the historic area's regula...

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Funny story: UK Fatties to be re-housed in countryside barns!

UK Fatties to be re-housed in countryside barns!

All UK fatties over the weight of 50 stone, and growing, are to be re-housed and replaced in countryside barns with double doors. There are now over 200 of them and they are all either stuck on the bog, stuck between their crisp and Mars Bar wrapping...

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Funny story: Man Forces Obese Women to Exercise at Gunpoint

Man Forces Obese Women to Exercise at Gunpoint

SYDNEY: Australian fitness fanatic, Koen Verelst, is wanted for questioning after forcing at least 3 or 4 obese women to exercise at gunpoint. It is thought that Vereslt, now on the run, approached the group as they were exiting a local Mcdonalds.

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Funny story: Britain Facing Pigeon Obesity Timebomb

Britain Facing Pigeon Obesity Timebomb

Animal welfare groups warned yesterday that the streets of Britain may soon be virtually impassable as they become clogged with morbidly overweight pigeons. According to bird and wildlife protectionist Percy Nobbleton, the flying rats' diet has ev...

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Funny story: Flesh-eating bacteria strain eats only excess body fat

Flesh-eating bacteria strain eats only excess body fat

Allentown, PA - Everyone knows Allentown is full of people who are too fat to fit into a restaurant booth. That is all about to change since the FDA approved the use of a new strain of flesh-eating bacteria for release into the wild, according to ou...

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Funny story: Obese becomes a politically incorrect term

Obese becomes a politically incorrect term

Calling somebody obese when they are so overweight that they require a reinforced sofa has been deemed unhelpful, and the search is on for more helpful terms. "People know that they're carrying excess weight," said Penny Schlecht, language co-ordi...

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Funny story: 2012 Lobsterfest Yields Lowest Death Toll in Years

2012 Lobsterfest Yields Lowest Death Toll in Years

Orlando, FL - Representatives of the Pink Lobster restaurant chain announced today that this year's Lobsterfest promotion has resulted in the lowest death toll in nearly two decades, with reported casualties hovering around a paltry 1,650. The p...

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Funny story: Be Nice To Fatso, Docs Told

Be Nice To Fatso, Docs Told

Health professionals are advised to be more circumspect when dealing with patients they may perceive to be overweight. New guidance from the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) tells doctors and nurses to avoid language wh...

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Funny story: Brits prefer fatty snacks than steamy sex!

Brits prefer fatty snacks than steamy sex!

65% of UK citizens prefer indulging in a bag of crisps or a pizza rather than having "hot sex"; a latest survey has proven. In fact choccy biscuits and doughnuts are more loved before people got to bed than a lovely "hot sausage" in the "hot cross bu...

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