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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...

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Funny story: Pound shop security guards to fill in at the Olympics

Pound shop security guards to fill in at the Olympics

With G4S's massive shortfall in security personnel for the Olympics, pound shops up and down the nation have given permission for their security guards to step in and fill the breach. "They're very good," said Quid Pro Quo owner, Jeremy Stirling.

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Funny story: John Terry 'not a threat' to London Olympics

John Terry 'not a threat' to London Olympics

A newspaper editor has apologised today after a typo error suggested that the behaviour of Chelsea footballer John Terry was a threat to the well being of the London 2012 Olympics. The headline should have read 'terror threat' referring to Al Quai...

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Funny story: Athlete's Foot arrives in London for Games

Athlete's Foot arrives in London for Games

London - A nasty outbreak of Tinea Pedis or foot ringworm has arrived in London and is heading straight for the Olympic Village. Foot-in-Mouth Olympic sources said this afternoon they are dealing with the problem by making competitors walk through...

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Funny story: Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Ministers have denied there is to be a shortfall in security in the coming Olympic Games. They insisted this was an "oversight" and security is to be expected at full capacity. Brian Binns, MP for Heathrow and Gatwick said "I don't know what all...

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Funny story: 'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...

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Funny story: Operatic Boy Band Fail to Protect Nation

Operatic Boy Band Fail to Protect Nation

Four opera singers from Guildhall entrusted with protecting the nation during the Olympics have sensationally pulled out. G4 were Pop Factor contestants in some year in this decade. After a string of gigs in the immediate aftermath of the show, th...

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Funny story: Olympic Shock Move

Olympic Shock Move

The International Olympic Committee has taken the drastic step of moving the venue of the Olympic games this year from London to Athens. 'We have been worried for some time about the bungling British apology for satisfactory preperation' said IOC...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 10th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 10th July 2012

Various Ryan Giggs will captain Team GB football team at the Olympics. Well at least his wife will know where he is for 90 minutes. Roberto Mancini has signed a new five year contract to stay at Manchester City after interest from the Russian FA for their national job. It must have been the lovely Manchester weather and mushy peas that made his mind up. Talksport Arsenal are figh...

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Funny story: Olympic Opening Ceremony Theme Change Following German Boycott Threat!

Olympic Opening Ceremony Theme Change Following German Boycott Threat!

The German government has threatened to boycott the London 2012 Olympic Games unless the theme for the opening ceremony is changed. Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron had to be told of the surprise theme being prepared for spectators after he'd m...

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Funny story: Olympic Shock: Canada to win 30 Gold Medals with Fast White Suits

Olympic Shock: Canada to win 30 Gold Medals with Fast White Suits

Toronto (SAPP) - The Canadian Olympic Team has entered a new era of competitiveness in the world of sports. Constantly trying to play catch-up to their rivals to the south, Canadian Track and Field is always yearning for that edge to beat the America...

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Funny story: Olympic Torch lights Indiana on fire, Wal-Mart to blame

Olympic Torch lights Indiana on fire, Wal-Mart to blame

St. Louis (SAPP) - The 2012 Olympics in London will be getting no help from the U.S.A. this year. Drought, heatwave, and burn bans have crippled the effort to send the Olympic Flame through the Midwest this year. But this may soon change. "This to...

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Funny story: David Beckham amputates finger in an attempt to be selected for Paralympics football team

David Beckham amputates finger in an attempt to be selected for Paralympics football team

David Beckham has angrily denied that he deliberately severed part of one of his little fingers in an attempt to become eligible to play in the British Paralympian football team. Medical teams were called to Beckham's home late last night after re...

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Funny story: Olympics: Nepal registers Yeti for 100 metres

Olympics: Nepal registers Yeti for 100 metres

The Nepalese Olympic Committee was ridiculed last night after announcing its intention to field The Yeti in the 100 metres sprint at London 2012. During a press conference in Kathmandu, Committee Chairman Prem Hayu insisted that the time was righ...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson realises they forgot about the equestrian events for the London Olympics

Boris Johnson realises they forgot about the equestrian events for the London Olympics

Loveable, laughable, but not laudable, buffoon and mayor of London, Boris Johnson has admitted that with only days left before the Olympics is due to begin, that they completely forgot about the equestrian events. "What can I say?" said Boris, sou...

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Funny story: David Beckham drops Stuart Pearce from Olympic Pizza advert

David Beckham drops Stuart Pearce from Olympic Pizza advert

David Beckham stunned the world of sport today by dropping old friend Stuart Pearce from his new Olympic Pizza advert, due to be filmed next week in Stratford and broadcast during the Games. East end born Beckham was chosen to pick the team due to...

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Funny story: Who do you think you are kidding…

Who do you think you are kidding…

As the Olympics grow ever closer, it has been noticed that the current level of security is not enough. Regiments are being depleted, and what brave men we do have are fighting in Afghanistan, or Libya. Boris Johnson has a solution, to call up a...

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