London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...
Four opera singers from Guildhall entrusted with protecting the nation during the Olympics have sensationally pulled out. G4 were Pop Factor contestants in some year in this decade. After a string of gigs in the immediate aftermath of the show, th...
The International Olympic Committee has taken the drastic step of moving the venue of the Olympic games this year from London to Athens. 'We have been worried for some time about the bungling British apology for satisfactory preperation' said IOC...
Various Ryan Giggs will captain Team GB football team at the Olympics. Well at least his wife will know where he is for 90 minutes. Roberto Mancini has signed a new five year contract to stay at Manchester City after interest from the Russian FA for their national job. It must have been the lovely Manchester weather and mushy peas that made his mind up. Talksport Arsenal are figh...
The German government has threatened to boycott the London 2012 Olympic Games unless the theme for the opening ceremony is changed. Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron had to be told of the surprise theme being prepared for spectators after he'd m...
Toronto (SAPP) - The Canadian Olympic Team has entered a new era of competitiveness in the world of sports. Constantly trying to play catch-up to their rivals to the south, Canadian Track and Field is always yearning for that edge to beat the America...
St. Louis (SAPP) - The 2012 Olympics in London will be getting no help from the U.S.A. this year. Drought, heatwave, and burn bans have crippled the effort to send the Olympic Flame through the Midwest this year. But this may soon change. "This to...
David Beckham has angrily denied that he deliberately severed part of one of his little fingers in an attempt to become eligible to play in the British Paralympian football team. Medical teams were called to Beckham's home late last night after re...
The Nepalese Olympic Committee was ridiculed last night after announcing its intention to field The Yeti in the 100 metres sprint at London 2012. During a press conference in Kathmandu, Committee Chairman Prem Hayu insisted that the time was righ...
Loveable, laughable, but not laudable, buffoon and mayor of London, Boris Johnson has admitted that with only days left before the Olympics is due to begin, that they completely forgot about the equestrian events. "What can I say?" said Boris, sou...
David Beckham stunned the world of sport today by dropping old friend Stuart Pearce from his new Olympic Pizza advert, due to be filmed next week in Stratford and broadcast during the Games. East end born Beckham was chosen to pick the team due to...
As the Olympics grow ever closer, it has been noticed that the current level of security is not enough. Regiments are being depleted, and what brave men we do have are fighting in Afghanistan, or Libya. Boris Johnson has a solution, to call up a...
London 2012:- Insider leaks suggest that the mysterious 40 foot high figure in Stratford's Olympic Stadium, recently photographed from the air, and heavily disguised by a tarpaulin, is in fact, none other than the fictional wizard, Harry Potter. T...
London - Hundreds of rapier and high velocity anti-aircraft missiles are to be deployed from cable cars above the Thames. The recently opened £60 million river crossing links the O2 Arena in Greenwich and the ExCel exhibition centre at East London...
Britain has been rocked by the shock resignation of Lord Cod as Olympics Supremo. In a statement leaked to our Sports editor Seb Cod declared: 'In the interests of the country I must resign from my post at Director General of the Olympics. After t...
Fears were growing again for Britney Spears health last night as she told fans she would be purchasing a 'duplex' in East London and competing at the London 2012 Olympics. Speaking to a fan on myface she said she loves the east end, after filming...
TARZANVILLE, Lower Zamgola - The government of the African country of Lower Zamgola has been immersed in economic havoc since the devaluing of its paper money known as the tambuska. Prior to Valentine's Day, one U.S. dollar was equal to 197 tambus...
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