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Funny satire stories about Liverpool

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Funny story: First supermarket trolley for four kids rolled out across supermarkets

First supermarket trolley for four kids rolled out across supermarkets

A BOOM in multiple births has led to the first shopping trolley with four seats. The number of mums having twins rose to 12,000 last year, prompting supermarkets to trial the quad - with extra seats immediately behind the first - in Sandhurst, Berks.

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Funny story: Chewing gum found in 'wine' bottle bought in Liverpool

Chewing gum found in 'wine' bottle bought in Liverpool

A counterfeit wine scam in Liverpool was uncovered when 'chewing gum' was found in a bottle of rose. The 'gum' was found by a person who bought the bottle from a shop in north Liverpool. Trading Standards officers raided the shop and seized 50 75c...

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Funny story: An Unemployed Poet In Manchester Claims To Have Seen An Image of One of Pippa Middleton's Breasts In His Crumpet

An Unemployed Poet In Manchester Claims To Have Seen An Image of One of Pippa Middleton's Breasts In His Crumpet

MANCHESTER - An unemployed poet named Chippington Vexhill, 66, informed his grandmother Dulcinea Vexhill, 102, that as he was reading his copy of The Manchester Morning Manc he suddenly looked down at his plate and got a bit of a fright. Vexhill said that he had to do a double take, ala Benny Hill, as right there in the middle of his blueberry crumpet he clearly saw an image of one of Pippa Mid...

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Funny story: Dalglish Richly Deserves His New Three-Year Anfield Contract

Dalglish Richly Deserves His New Three-Year Anfield Contract

Kenny Dalglish has signed a new three-year contract at Liverpool. Anfield bosses were so happy with his performance in the caretaker role he had occupied since January that they had no hesitation in offering him the new contract. Dalglish took...

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Funny story: Dalglish To Be Crowned King Kenny

Dalglish To Be Crowned King Kenny

Liverpool FC's owners are flying to Merseyside to finalise Kenny Dalglish's coronation. Chairman Tom Werner and principal owner John Henry hope to crown their man in time for Sunday's clash with Spurs. Talks with the caretaker boss have been co...

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Funny story: Kate Shocks Prince William On Their Wedding Night With A Brand New "Bikini Line" Tattoo

Kate Shocks Prince William On Their Wedding Night With A Brand New "Bikini Line" Tattoo

LONDON - Prior to the Royal Wedding Day, Kate Middleton had confided to her sister Pippa that she had a wedding night surprise for William that she knew was going to literally knock his Royal socks off. And reports from Brompton Boxgrove of The Ti...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton, Sarah Ferguson, and Winnie Figgyfurst Attend An Amy Winehouse Concert In Liverpool

Kate Middleton, Sarah Ferguson, and Winnie Figgyfurst Attend An Amy Winehouse Concert In Liverpool

LIVERPOOL - Three of England's most well known women recently flew to Liverpool, to attend an Amy Winehouse concert. Kate Middleton, Sarah Ferguson, and Winnie Figgyfurst had a grand old time as they sat in the first row at Liverpool's famed St. B...

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Funny story: Aintree: Ladies Day...more like Halloween in April

Aintree: Ladies Day...more like Halloween in April

Ladies Day at Aintree was more like Halloween in April. If those 'so called' ladies think they look classy then I feel sorry for them. Someone should tell them to stop shopping in the High Street Charity Shops.. Looking at the photographs in the 'dailies', most of those knees shown off by mini-skirts, are quite offensive to look at. They should have carried a warning, "Do Not Look If You...

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Funny story: Paul McCartney Visits The Beatles Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum In Liverpool

Paul McCartney Visits The Beatles Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum In Liverpool

LIVERPOOL - Sir Paul McCartney flew into his home town of Liverpool to visit the Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum which houses hundreds of Beatles memorabilia, relics, and artifacts. McCartney had heard about the museum being broken into on...

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Funny story: Local Man In Buoyant Mood As City And The Scousers Crash In Europa League

Local Man In Buoyant Mood As City And The Scousers Crash In Europa League

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was reported to be happy again, for the first time since early on Sunday as both Liverpool AND Manchester Sh-sorry City were beaten away from home home in their respective Europa League first round ties. Observers sa...

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Funny story: United Humiliated By Scousers - "Go On, Share It" Says Local Man. "See If I Care!"

United Humiliated By Scousers - "Go On, Share It" Says Local Man. "See If I Care!"

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock completely lost the plot tonight as he cracked up following Liverpool's 3-1 victory over Manchester United on Sunday. Shuttlecock was distressed to learn that stories about him being distraught about the result were b...

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Funny story: Simon Rattle/Berlin Philharmonic - Barbican

Simon Rattle/Berlin Philharmonic - Barbican

Stravinsky: Apollon Musagete (1947) Mahler: Symphony No 4. Arguably the world's greatest orchestra is in London for a few days, showing us, among other things, Sir Simon's latest work on the Mahler cycle - some of which he demonstrated at last summer's Proms. Pierre Noxious writes: So the biggest names in orchestral music are in town for a few days and everyone's falling over themselve...

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Funny story: Ringo Starr Vs Simon Rattle: Scouse Faves Duke It Out!

Ringo Starr Vs Simon Rattle: Scouse Faves Duke It Out!

A war of words has broken out between two of Liverpool's favourite sons over who is the more loyal Scouser. Ex-Beatle, Ringo Starr is to visit the city next year as part of a world-wide tour and Sir Simon Rattle is currently in the UK with his Ber...

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Funny story: 'Anfieldgrad' is beautiful, as the burning of Torres shirts fills the air with red smoke!

'Anfieldgrad' is beautiful, as the burning of Torres shirts fills the air with red smoke!

This is 'Anfieldgrad', filing a NEWS REPORT from the banks of the River Mersey, with smoke in the air as the loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', burn Torres shirts to keep warm. The Yanks are coming and they have fallen in love with 'Anfieldgrad' and...

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Funny story: New Recording of the Beatles Found! A Strange New Light Shed on the Fab Four!

New Recording of the Beatles Found! A Strange New Light Shed on the Fab Four!

LIVERPOOL, U.K.-A new recording of The Beatles, circa 1961, has been unearthed in the home of semi-retired cabby, Barnabas Q. Plumfrock. The recording, long rumored to be fatuous, was found in the hope chest set at the end of Mr. Plumfrock's bed.

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Funny story: Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We, the loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', are surrounded by an opposition force, without Fernando Torres. 'Anfieldgrad' is cut off from humanity. On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffered the fiercest cold Winter, whereupon Von Hodgson WALKED ALONE down the M62 ALONE, with a few Million Rubles into oblivion! The beleagured Comm...

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Funny story: Gay Man Goes To See Liverpool v. Everton At Anfield, But Spends Entire Match In Bogs

Gay Man Goes To See Liverpool v. Everton At Anfield, But Spends Entire Match In Bogs

An outright gay man told how he went to Anfield to see his first-ever football match this afternoon, only to spend the entire duration of the match in the Gents toilets. Larry Sabu, 20, somehow managed to obtain a ticket to see the 215th Merseysi...

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