Washington - A Sun/Pluto clash will showcase the evening's Jupiter/Saturn opposition as the President takes the podium at Washington's National Defense University. "Sure, we'd have preferred the speech next Sunday, April 3rd," paranoiacs at CIA di...
TRIPOLI, Libya - The word on the shell-casing strew streets of Tripoli is that Dictator Colonel Moammar "The Towel" Gadhafi is secretly finalizing plans to leave Libya and move out to Hollywood with his wife of 40 years, the attractive and extremely...
French President Nicholas Sarkozy addressing an apathetic crowd estimated at around 350 at the Eiffel Tower, shouted "We finally won one!" as he announced France was now pulling out of Libya and declaring 'a glorious victory restoring French Honor!...
Cultivation of the US Government's own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are runn...
The first sign of trouble for President Obama was when he arrived 'home' today and couldn't get in the White House as no one told staff he was cutting his 'Spring Break' short to get back in time for the Sweet 16 basketball finals. The second sign...
Colonel Gaddafi has employed a new strategy never before seen in modern day warfare to help combat the Libyan uprising in Tripoli. On Tuesday, Gaddafi purchased 400,000 captive lions from the African National Zoo and released them all onto the str...
Libyan jets were seen over London today to protect British citizens who were taking part in a demonstration and were being attacked by police. A spokesman for Col. Gadaffi said, "The UN allows us to intervene to protect British citizens from being...
Despite its exhausting and increasingly sanctimonious involvement in Libya and Egypt, the US this week confirmed that it was determined to take necessary action and invade a small, Esso service service station in Bracknell. The proposed action was co...
Convicted Lockerbie Bomber Al-Mehgrahi [87] is to sue the Scottish Government under European Human Rights legislation for sending him back to Libya. Al-Mehgrahi [89] complained that his life was in danger after being released by the Scottish Gov...
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - President Barack "NCAA" Obama has instructed Vice-President Joe Biden to call up the commanders of the Arizona, Wisconsin, and Alaska National Guards and inform them that their National Guard units are to report to Tripoli, L...
With all the problems we have in the U.S. today, it is truly astounding that a simple answer to them exists already and no one has thought of it. Simply make Muammar Gaddhafi the President of the U.S.! The logic of this escapes you? Let me enlighten you- Why Gaddhafi should be made President of the U.S.: There would be less money wasted on campaigning and voting- all the other political...
Fashion house, Victor Boss, has been handed a gift-wrapped marketing opportunity by Libyan freedom fighters. Pictures in newspapers around world yesterday showed a group of triumphant rebels celebrating the capture of a government forces tank.
US ships deployed off the coast of Libya unleashed 113 deadly Tomahawk missiles yesterday, knocking out the major transportation center that links Tripoli with dozens of camel caravan routes that traverse Northern Africa. With each missile costing n...
LOS ANGELES & WASHINGTON, D.C. - After news emerged that Allied forces had fired rockets at loyalist forces, the film industry are hoping that it all bodes well. "Think about it," said Chumpy McChumpson, "We make a trillion war movies. If we m...
TRIPOLI, Libya - Colonel Moammar Gadhafi has asked for a temporary "Cease Fire" in the on going national lawless uprisings which have resulted in tumultuous turmoil throughout the country of Libya. According to Sports Territory Magazine, Colonel Gadhafi is one of the biggest U.S. collegiate basketball fans anywhere outside of the continental United States. The 68-year-old dictator has seen e...
The mayhem, chaos and other Libyan unrest all came to a halt last night, with things quickly returning to abnormal in the country. Simon Cowell, complete with unreal-looking teeth and premium-rate telephone numbers, was flown in to Tripoli by Cedr...
The U.K, France and Lebanon are in negotiations in an attempt to ratchet up the pressure on Colonel Gaddafi and Libya. Increasingly frustrated at the lack of U.N. agreement on meaningful sanctions against the North African country, David Cameron i...
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