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Funny satire stories about Language

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Funny story: Talk Strange To Be Understood Abroad, Says Expert

Talk Strange To Be Understood Abroad, Says Expert

English tourists are being advised by a travel expert to adopt bizarre accents if they want to be understood by waiters and sales staff abroad. EIF News & Features' Travel Editor Peregrine Trip reckons the traditional method of making yourself...

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Funny story: Harry Redknapp's vocabulary looted in Tottenham riots

Harry Redknapp's vocabulary looted in Tottenham riots

Harry Redknapp's vocabulary has been looted and left for brown bread by tea leaves during the Tottenham riots. "The toe rags have half inched all my favourite words" said a down in the north and south 'Arry. Bundles of expressions, a collecti...

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Funny story: e.e.cummings grandson banned from internet

e.e.cummings grandson banned from internet

g.g.cummings, grandson of e.e.cummings, has again been suspended from an internet writer's forum. His 'work' was continually rejected because of it's odd typography, erratic punctuation and fonetic spelling. 'Beat' poet g.g, whose grandfather p...

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Funny story: Man from Carlisle Learns American Vulgarism

Man from Carlisle Learns American Vulgarism

Carlisle, UK - Local man, David Clarke, 35, recently learned the American vulgarism, "junk." Friends are amazed by his natural ability to pick up and use such an odd American euphemism. "I learnt it from Elizabeth, who is the funniest person o...

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Funny story: Everything to be described as "pre" this and "pre" that

Everything to be described as "pre" this and "pre" that

In an effort to simplify things for the hard of thinking, the electronics industry, in particular establishments such as Game, Cash Generator, Nintendo, Apple and Currys, already well known for their thoroughly enticing and vomit-inducing "pre-order"...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Fans: What Type Are You?

Robert Pattinson Fans: What Type Are You?

CALLING ALL ROBERT PATTINSON FANS! WHAT TYPE OF ROBERT PATTINSON FAN ARE YOU? We're celebrating the upcoming release of Robert Pattinson's hot new movie Water For Elephants - in which he stars with Reese Widdershins - by offering RPatz fans the opportunity to win one of the following RPatz-tastico prizes: * an emery stick * a lucky hare's ear * an artist's impression o...

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Funny story: Webster's Dictionary To Include "WTF" In 2012 Edition

Webster's Dictionary To Include "WTF" In 2012 Edition

New York - The highly respected Webster's Dictionary has announced it will include the acronym "WTF" in their 2012 edition. "WTF" which stands for "what the fuck"?" or "what the fuck!!!" is now used so commonly by so many Americans about so many t...

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Funny story: NanoChip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

NanoChip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons' offices quicker than you can say "Se Habla Espanol?" No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third language...

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Funny story: New words enter Oxford English Dictionary, including the verb "sheen"

New words enter Oxford English Dictionary, including the verb "sheen"

The Oxford English Dictionary has announced a new raft of words that have become acceptable for use in every day speech. Demonstrating his ability to use words himself, dictionary editor Professor Pip Datpost said he was "excited, ecstatic, deligh...

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Funny story: Emoticons become English

Emoticons become English

The Oxford English dictionary has made the remarkable step of allowing some so-called emoticons into the dictionary complete with full definitions. Emoticons are the punctuation marks that display emotional responses, such as the traditional smile...

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Funny story: Two Romans Make a Write

Two Romans Make a Write

The history of writing the spoken word is a scientific discipline all to itself. It is widely agreed that the Egyptians and Chinese writing systems arose together through trade, and gave rise to two independent systems. The Phoenicians carried Egypti...

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Funny story: Review: Language tapes

Review: Language tapes

As the Spoof's foremost reviewer I get to review some cool stuff. This month I was sent three Lingo language packs: German, Italian and Spanish. I would quite like to have learned Chinese, just to find out what the people in the Chinese Chippy were saying about me. I've never been very good at learning languages though. I even with English struggle. Lingo packs come in three parts. These are:...

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Funny story: Rooney Excels In Spelling Test

Rooney Excels In Spelling Test

These days we are always hearing about how all our footballers are earning far too much money and are such terrible role models for children everywhere. So it's always nice when we hear a good news story. This week, Manchester United Superstar W...

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Funny story: Disruptive Pupils to Take Charge of Classes in BigSoc

Disruptive Pupils to Take Charge of Classes in BigSoc

BIRMINGHAM - In the face of Cameron's cultural directive, Big Society, a group of pupils at a local secondary school have taken charge of thier class. Big Society is allowing volunteers to run certain things that local councils or the government w...

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Funny story: Linguist Agree that 'Gibberish' is Misunderstood

Linguist Agree that 'Gibberish' is Misunderstood

New York, NY - United Nations Gibberologist today hailed the passage of a draft resolution celebrating the global renaissance of the ancient Gibberish language, thus rendering human communication and understanding more difficult. "Historically," s...

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Funny story: Amazing Results In Most Amazing Words Awards

Amazing Results In Most Amazing Words Awards

The Most Amazing Words of 2010 were last night announced at the Annual Most Amazing Words Awards Ceremony held in the Kodak Theatre, Hollywood, California. For the fifth year in a row, and to no great surprise to the thousands of cogniscenti in at...

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Funny story: USA to lose licence to use English language

USA to lose licence to use English language

The current 250 year licence granted to the USA to use English as its official language is due to expire at the end of January 2011. The licence was originally granted by King George III and intended as a stop-gap till the colony (as it was then) dec...

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