Two college professors had to be forcibly separated by students after they got into a fistfight over whether or not the term "friggin'" is a real word. 64 year-old Professor Wilkie Hyennisfield admitted to police that he threw the first punch.
Scientists and hospital staff are baffled this evening as Hugo Mountbatten, 41 from Wigan, continues to talk in overly complex medical jargon after prolonged contact with the BBC medical drama series 'Holby City'. The bar owner, from the Pemberton...
The campaign for plain English has outlawed the use of "literally" and "like" as used by Will.I.Am. He was made to recite and memorise this poem. "Like, literally awesome" by Rob Barratt It was literally awesome Some awe was in place I was literally gobsmacked I got punched in the face I was literally spaced out Floating round the room I was literally flying I was, like, over the mo...
Professor Finn L. Straw is threatening to blow up one of the BBC's broadcasting masts if his demands are not met. The drama began last night as this publication went to press. His protest concerns the use of the word "them" instead of "those" and the...
NATIONAL HARBOR, Md.- Snigdha Nandipati a 14-year-old of San Diego won the 85th Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday night when she correctly spelled the word "guetapens," which means a trap or ambush. Although Nandipati took home a $35,000...
Cambridge, U.K. - Researchers at Cambridge University have found that, when constructing titles for online publications, doesn't matter what type or genre they are, just online ones, nothing specific, are more likely to be read by the vast majority of people, i.e. the audience, readers, those lumps of organic material staring blindly into cyberspace , hoping to be awaken by some thunderbolt of int...
The English language is to receive a massive overhaul in 2013, say experts from the Guild Of Dictionary Writers. Spokesmen say that the language has become cluttered and over-complicated in recent years, with many new words being added and spellin...
Lexicologists today gathered at the Great Hall Of Lexicology near London's Golden Square, to debate the veracity of the word 'clunge' amid recent claims that 'clunge' is the most obscene description of female genitalia ever coined in the English lang...
Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey. The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs. Both the Cockneys polled...
Sometimes I wonder what words mean, or where they came from. Like 'cling film'. It is called 'cling' film because it is clingy and a film, or was it invented by a man called Cling? Or a man called Film? Perhaps both. Perhaps Cling and Film got together and thought "Now there's a good idea" and created cling film. Then there's the straw boater. It's a kind of hat. Very rarely made out of actu...
Boffins in charge of the English language have been told to go back to school in a row over their choice of Word of the Year for 2011. 'Squeezed middle' was chosen ahead of "Arab spring' and 'phone hacking' for the accolade by Oxford Dictionaries.
Professor Huey Verse has spent the past five years studying the various calls of the Amazonian amphibians in their native habitat in order to discover if these simple creatures have a form of language. "I have been living in a tent being bitten by...
Travelling abroad can be a nightmare, especially when the land contains lots of people who pretend not to understand the English for "Where is the toilet" and you're bursting. For this reason, we provide this handy guide for locating lavatories anywhere in continental Europe. English: Excuse me good sir, where are the lavatories? Italian: Mi scusi spirito di cazzo, dove i gabinetti? Fren...
Language is in a constant state of flux What was common 500 years ago will now get you some funny looks This has been the subject of a great many books Discussing how they made a verb out of a word like ducks But for these tomes, they'll charge you fifty bucks And this piece is free, but not as comprehensive We can use words to shine light into tiny nooks And scare away some metaphorical...
Currently, the UN comprises of nearly two hundred countries, sharing some six thousand languages. In order to save the sanity of the member states, currently there are six working languages: Chinese, Spanish, English, Arabic, Russian and French. P...
The word manganese has been voted the U.K's favourite word, by readers of Word Monthly magazine, Britain's premier source for all word related information. The word, acclaimed for it's ease of slipping off the tongue, and almost happy pronunciat...
English tourists are being advised by a travel expert to adopt bizarre accents if they want to be understood by waiters and sales staff abroad. EIF News & Features' Travel Editor Peregrine Trip reckons the traditional method of making yourself...
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