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Funny satire stories about John Terry

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Funny story: 'Ashley Cole Is Not Losing It' Says John Terry

'Ashley Cole Is Not Losing It' Says John Terry

Reports that Chelsea and England full back Ashley Cole has had a psychiatrist visit as he recuperates from his broken ankle in France do not necessarily signify that he is losing his mind. So says a written statement, allegedly penned by Chelsea c...

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Funny story: Sex scandal rocks India as Holyman does a "John Terry"!

Sex scandal rocks India as Holyman does a "John Terry"!

Guru and Holyman, Nithyananda Swami, has been caught on video doing what most Indian Holymen should never do, bunking it up with two women in bed. The "Horny Holy Man" was shown having raunchy sex sessions with the two women and his devoted follow...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Indifferent Regarding John Terry's Haircut

Cheryl Cole Indifferent Regarding John Terry's Haircut

Cheryl Cole, wife of England left back Ashley Cole and close friend of Sarah Harding out of Girls Aloud expressed an air of indifference when she saw John Terry's much talked about Mohawk haircut. Mrs Cole did not liken the haircut in any way to t...

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Funny story: John Terry Ignores Wembley Boo Boys

John Terry Ignores Wembley Boo Boys

Despite appeals from Wayne Rooney before the game, England fans started booing controversial ex-skipper John Terry within seconds of the kick off in the friendly international fixture with Egypt. Which England went on to win 3-1 Terry was jeere...

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Funny story: John Terry's Mohawk To Be Fully Grown By World Cup Opening

John Terry's Mohawk To Be Fully Grown By World Cup Opening

Insiders in the Chelsea and England camps today confirmed that the Mohawk haircut sported by Chelsea skipper John Terry in the defeat to Manchester City last weekend, will be fully grown by the time the World Cup kicks off in South Africa. There w...

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Funny story: Wayne Bridge avoids John Terry's hand at the "Bridge", it PONGED!

Wayne Bridge avoids John Terry's hand at the "Bridge", it PONGED!

Wayne Bridge is convinced he did the right thing by avoiding John Terry's hand at Stamford Bridge on Saturday. Wayne was quite aware where Terry has had his hand in the past (down the knickers of his partner, Miss Perroncel!) and thought it wouldn...

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Funny story: Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Thinks It Was John Terry Who Popped Her Cherry

Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Thinks It Was John Terry Who Popped Her Cherry

Pharmacists around the world admit that sales of Viagra have been down ever since Swedish Olympic Sensation Ivana Phuque begin captivating crowds at the Vancouver Winter Games. The blonde bombshell, who performs braless in her tight, white lycra top...

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Funny story: Celebrity Marriage Collpase Horror; Peter Andre rubs hands together; John Terry just rubs

Celebrity Marriage Collpase Horror; Peter Andre rubs hands together; John Terry just rubs

In a move that has surprised absolutely nobody, Girls Aloud "celebrity" wife Cheryl "he's like a brother to me" Cole is set to divorce her trophy husband Ashley Cole. Cole made the announcement recently, after much speculation that her husband had...

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Funny story: Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

London - (Offside Mess): Have a fiendish she-devil's pheromones cursed the brains of Chelsea Football Club players? Management was forced to call in FA 'ghostbusters' after a spectral apparition was seen in the players' steam-room. Cackling hor...

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Funny story: Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Wayne Bridge has pulled out! The left back says he does not want to shoot and he has opted for spilling it on the City of Manchester turf. "I don't want sloppy seconds. Ashley Cole, John Terry, all the others, they've all got stuck in before me. The...

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Funny story: Rio Ferdinand Loses England Captain's Armband

Rio Ferdinand Loses England Captain's Armband

Rio Ferdinand, the Manchester United defender who recently found himself the unwitting recipient of John Terry's misfortune when the Chelsea star was relieved of the England team captaincy, himself had the misfortune to lose the armband on Sunday - b...

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Funny story: Pole Dancer Says Ashley Cole And John Terry Are Jerks, and she's sticking to her guns!

Pole Dancer Says Ashley Cole And John Terry Are Jerks, and she's sticking to her guns!

Mimi Le Boeuf 49, real name Sandra Flisspap of Newington Butts claimed that the famous - and fabulously wealthy - Chelsea duo were "stupid jerks" when it came down to selecting partners with whom to conduct extra-marital dalliances, and that their ch...

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Funny story: Cheryl and Ashley Cole's Marital Status Is Slowly Slithering Into The Salaciously Steamy Sewer of Sadness

Cheryl and Ashley Cole's Marital Status Is Slowly Slithering Into The Salaciously Steamy Sewer of Sadness

LONDON - Once upon a time in merry ole' England Cheryl and Ashley Cole were the land of Shakespeare's most popular and happiest couple, other than Charlie and Cammy of course. But then the cold, frigid, British biting winter wind hit and it litera...

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Funny story: Ashley Cole Becomes Chelsea's Top Scorer

Ashley Cole Becomes Chelsea's Top Scorer

Ashley Cole has done it again! Always a threat around the box, Cole arrived late and he really doesn't miss from there. This brings his career tally to 100, placing him comfortably ahead of team mates John Terry, Frank Lampard and Joe Cole (no relati...

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Funny story: Brit Awards 2010 Snubbed By John And Toni Terry

Brit Awards 2010 Snubbed By John And Toni Terry

John and Toni Terry arrived back in the UK yesterday from their Dubai sojourn, pretending to keep a low profile, but happily, if somewhat awkwardly posing for paparrazi like any normal married couple. To all outward appearances it would appear tha...

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Funny story: John Terry In New Allegation

John Terry In New Allegation

When things start to go wrong, it sometimes feels like the whole world is going to cave in, and that's how it must seem to Chelsea skipper John Terry at the moment after a new scandal prepared to do the rounds in the Sunday tabloids this morning.

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Funny story: John Terry tries to make up with Wife for Valentines Day

John Terry tries to make up with Wife for Valentines Day

John Terry has apparently sent his wife Toni large boxes of Terrys All Gold Chocolates, some flowers and a copy of the hit record by Hot Chocolate It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this. When I spoke to John this morning I a...

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