Two North Carolina Baptist pastors are observing President Jimmy Carter's 90th birthday by suggesting that he might go to hell for saying that Jesus wouldn't discriminate against LGBT people. Pastor David McManus accused Carter of embracing the "h...
HEAVEN--After existing for nearly two millennia as consubstantial roommates, the Holy Trinity--God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit--are splitting up. Theologians thought they had settled the debate of the Holy Trinity more than a...
For years now, people have feasted their eyes to the sky and have asked The Lord to come back to this earth in hopes for a better future. I'm sure god said to his people that he did not feel that the time is ready, so he sent a piece of fortune that would help them…"forget about it." "I have a Netflix account" is such an effortless sentence. Saying something more like "I hold before me the powe...
The Vatican - A secret enclave of Catholic bishops and cardinals has added marijuana smoking to the church's menu of Holy Sacraments. The unprecedented action is expected to boost the popularity of Catholicism while replenishing the church's coffers,...
Milan, Italy - An international panel of art experts and historians has unanimously agreed that Jesus Christ and his 12 Disciples were not actually present and did not personally sit for Leonardo da Vinci when da Vinci painted his famous mural "The L...
HEAVEN - In a move many observers described as inevitable, representatives of God, the Christian God that is, announced Tuesday the indefinite postponement of any "Second Coming" or "Ressurection" that had been promised to Christians for more than t...
Britain can no longer call itself Great Britain after a high court ruling today. The Law Lords have decided after seeing evidence of poverty on a scale not seen outside of Africa that from now on Britain should be known as Bit Crap Britain instead.
The Israelites had been slaves in the land of Egypt. God sent Moses to Pharaoh to let the Israelites, God's people, go. Pharaoh did not consent. God sent terrible plagues upon Egypt. Finally Pharaoh agreed to let Moses take the Israelites out. They reached the foot of Mount Sinai. Moses climbed the mountain to meet God. Israelites became restive. Gathering around Aaron, they asked him to make them...
Although crucified by both press and players, it was revealed this morning that Moyes wasn't 'the chosen one'. Alex Ferguson had described the job of leading the 'Red Devils' as being as difficult as 'Moses parting the waves, or Noah building his...
The Atheist Society of Great Britain today announced that it will be organising street parties nationwide throughout the Easter period. Atheist Society spokesperson B.L. Zebub explained why to the alcohol sodden Church of England press corps. "Wel...
A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...
Lore! Speighk Mouses as he stanp aboven over hall peipule on his (it's) hell, clapping two timey baldy's with reel forfar and mites! Did thast not tillt that if thoi bayleaf yow wold seat yore wince troube saerfjour, adverturley? Goj walk special in evy dei und evvy weight. Him lies on sandy as a crator wretching him menanwomban frillock innernaround him gurrdjin. But thei shuld bay spayed on,...
Dateline: CHARLOTTE, NC--Along with its more famous line of wristbands, emblazoned with the words, "What would Jesus do?" Dollars for Jesus, a Christian merchandise company began selling a mysterious alternative, a wristband asking its wearer, "What...
Heaven (CNN) - Saying "Enough is enough," God yesterday released a statement making it clear that He is not creating images of The Virgin Mary, Jesus, any Saints, or any other sort of image in tree bark, rust stains, scars, Cheetos, reflections from...
A good deal of attention is currently being given to retired lieutenant general William Boykin, who is also the Family Research Council's Executive Vice President. Following Mr. Boykin's public remarks that he interprets Revelation 19 to mean that...
The Vatican, currently under fire after a shocking U.N. report, issued a statement on their website defending their practice of sheltering priests who were known or accused pedophiles. "We want the public to rest assured," the statement beg...
It seems as though the fairy story of the virgin Mary giving birth to Jesus could be true after all because in Italy a baby boy has been born under similar circumstances! A Nun in Rieti, Central Italy, claimed she had no idea she was pregnant and...
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