HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for the Nickelodeon Network has just announced that they will soon begin filming on a Halloween special based on Elvira McFiddletocky's 18th century novel The Halloween Witches Vs. The Pumpkin Eating Vampires. The specia...
A bizarre plot has been uncovered that is sending chills down the spines of many liberals, free thinkers and political independents. A leaked memo from the highest levels of FOX News to leaders of the top ultra conservative movements reveals that...
The Association of Halloween Costume Providers (AHCP) have issued a statement advising anybody who is considering renting a vampire costume for the Halloween festivities to act fast, or else face huge disappointment. Ever popular, vampire costumes...
Police have warned the public to lock their doors and stay vigilant tonight October 31st as it is feared hordes of the undead are prowling the country's streets in search of sexual gratification. One lady, 71 year old Madge Mingerly, who asked to...
'Has this story started yet?', Sherlock Holmes asked his colleague Dr. Watson, 'and if so what's for breakfast?' 'Yes, Holmes it has, but this morning we're having sauteed kippers in a hollandaise sauce with just that frisson of lime zest that makes all the difference.' 'Just peanut butter and toast for me and a pint of strong tea', Holmes said, and picked up The Daily Maily to read. 'Why, it's...
A Halloween Pirate boy called Jack (and his little sister) have made a Million pounds in one night. They achieved this act of financial wonder by dressing up as pirates and kidnapping Barrack Obama. They got the idea from watching the news. Th...
As the sun set on Transylvania Avenue in the ancient European city of Washingtonja, people rushed home after their day of working in the fields, such was their dread of being outdoors after dark in that part of the world, but one pretty girl named Monica stayed out in the fields, singing a song quietly to herself. 'Whistle while you work, Billie is a twerp, my blue dress is, in a big mess, can't w...
Cyberspace - (666-And-All-That): The Halloween ouija board rattled horribly today as a hextoplasm-encypted cyberseance message from the '69 drowning victim blamed Yale's notorious Skull And Bones Society. Her stark words caused an unexpected out-o...
Users of the ubiquitous search engine found a treat in store for them today - and then realised a trick was involved! Google's Halloween logo shows a Pumpkin-tastic display of ghostliness. Well, a spookily-fonted Googl… with a pumpkin for an e!...
London - (Bye-Bye-Miss-American-Spy): The Astrologer Royal was taken away to the Royal Freak Hospital's Witchfinder General Wing today by the Third Royal Battalion of Men in White Coats. Reporter were told his latest official advice to take arseni...
Barton looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair looked great, clean-shaven, and with his favourite blue silk shirt on he was bound to pull a bird tonight . He thought he'd try that new snazzy wine bar that had just opened in town, Bar Chique. Barton lived for sex. Sex with strangers excited him. At thirty-three he had notched up well over two hundred casual lays on his bed-pos...
WAPAKONETA, Ohio - The Great Grandma Buckeye Halloween Costume, Mask, and Outfit Company of Wapakoneta has just announced that the number one selling scariest Halloween Trick or Treat mask for 2009 is the Roman Polanski mask. Company President Sax...
Los Angeles - (Trick or Treat): Grave concerns may be behind a mystery Skull And Bones Club sperm donor's decision to post a 24-hour armed guard around Michael Jackson's Glendale mausoleum. The anonymous benefactor, a resident at Predator Chapel R...
Rome - (Trick Or Treat): A Maginot Line of Vatican resistance workers is planning a Halloween trick or treat surprise for Pope Joe Ratzinger. Fed up with a compulsory Diet of Worms in the Pontifical works canteen staff are planning on spiking Joe...
One of the country's high street banks is getting into the festive swing with a special Halloween promotion. Royal and Midland Bank of NatLand will celebrate the recently adopted Transatlantic tradition of blackmail and extortion, better known as...
Hollywood, California/Agricultural News - Hollywood babe Pamela Anderson claimed today she was a victim of a cruel Halloween trick or treater who held her at gun point until she gave him her pumpkins! The former Tool Time air ratchet, Bay Watch Bi...
12. Every single shopper at WallyMart: Skinny as a rail! 11. You hear footsteps on the street behind you but when you turn around, not only is no one there but something gooses you in the ass! 10. Every station on the radio has Alice Cooper as it's host. 9. Complete quiet at the local library except occassional cry of "BRAINS!" 8. When interviewing for a job at Micky D's, the boss man...
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