Clearwater, FL Insisting they are not going out of business, Scamatology's diminutive leader Davey Makemerich announced that they would have a garage sale on the lawn of the Super Power building. With rumors that all is not well in the Scamatology...
NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's top experts on birds and their migratory habits has just stated that the birds are having hell with the harsh-as-hell winter. Dr. Hamlet Chimney of Harvard held a news conference in Central Park and told joggers...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The snow situation in the United States has gotten way, way out of hand. Meteorologists report that there is currently snow in 49 of the 50 states. The only state that has no snow is the Plywood State of Florida. Florida's De...
Apalachicola, Florida - A team of research scientists from Chicago has just spent five weeks doing research down on the Florida Gulf Coast. The team's director Dr. Randy Sangrantino, 54, stated that after spending thousands of hours studying guppi...
A coalition of Southern States led by Florida and Texas have convened a plenary and joint session of their legislatures to draft a bill banning George Zimmerman of domicile in any of the participating states. The same bill proposes to deport him as f...
PENSACOLA, Florida - The governor of Florida has just issued a Governor's Directive which mandates that all computers within the state will no longer be allowed to use the Ctrl-Alt-Delete computer feature. A spokesperson for the governor, P.K. "Ta...
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA - The attorney general of Florida has just sent a certified letter to rap singer Flo Rida. The letter makes it abundantly clear that the state of Florida is insisting that Tramar Dillard, who goes by the rap name Flo Rida, imm...
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - National Focus Magazine is reporting that the heated issue of a George Zimmerman Theme Park has caused quite a hoopla in the Plywood State of Florida. State Senator Claxton F. Malagueña [D-Fort Walton Beach] spearheaded a dr...
Special to TPN - Florida Governor Rick Scott today signed into law an expansion of his state's controversial "Stand-Your-Ground" statute 776.013. Those with so-called "carry" permits for handguns will be allowed to conceal on their persons not more t...
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - The state of Florida has decided that in order to prevent anymore senseless acts of violence [i.e. The George Zimmerman case] it will be putting into effect a new curfew which will apply to anyone between the ages of 8 and 21.
New York City -- Lame duck Mayor Michael Bloomberg is working to install neighborhood watch favorite George Zimmerman as the city's next Police Commissioner. "Think of this as my going away present to the city," said Bloomberg, who will be out o...
ZEPHYRHILLS, Florida - Eighty-four-year-old Gloria C. MacKenzie the $590 million Powerball winner recently stated that one of the first things she is going to do is to get a complete makeover. And by that Ms. MacKenzie said that she just doesn't m...
KANSAS CITY - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that the word on the streets of Kansas City is that the NFL Chiefs could be moving. Rufus Reno with SBID said that he spoke with an inside source in the Chiefs organization and was told tha...
FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- A Fort Pierce man, Wyan William Waterman, was arrested Sunday after posting online photos of himself and two young children petting and holding a manatee calf, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (F...
TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day. Wife Tamm...
Manhattan, NY - NBC's Today Show kicked off a series of Thanksgiving week concerts with an outdoor show by rising rap star, Flo-Rida, on Monday. An impressive crowd of Flo-Rida fans turned out for the free event outside NBC's Today Show studios in...
Tallahasee - Now that election officials have finally tallied up the votes from yet another tangled mess of a Presidential election in the sunshine state, it has left many residents in the nation's most phallic-like state feeling rather… limp. Wit...
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