HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...
I find it ridiculous to accuse the glorious and magnificent all-powerful Facebook being of manipulating my emotions. I was logged in for an hour this morning and found it very enlightening to rapidly assimilate the Cyrillic alphabet. Must reach Kremlin. If my emotions were manipulated surely I'd be ecstatic that England are out of the World Cup and I'm not. Mainly because they are still in it acco...
Cyberspace, The Last Affrontiere - The satirical website Farcebook has been accused of conducting a huge secret psychological experiment on its users to see how they respond to cyber crap. Sixty million Farcebook users took part without any perso...
It has been scientifically proven that anyone who has added someone after finding them through the 'people you may know' feature on Facebook is a colossal cretin, leading Facebook to delete the feature. Social networking research experts Pew Resea...
Social media is a constant battlefield for some couples. David and Amy Douglas felt bitter last year after receiving only 96 Facebook 'likes' for their wedding announcement, whilst most of their friends received 'likes' in the hundreds. "Do peopl...
A website created by Facebook for parents to create accounts for their new-born babies is to be launched this Summer, to a chorus of "thank fuck" from regular Facebook users. Insufferable parents will be able to create and control their child's p...
Warnings to set preferences correctly in Facebook after the Amazon - Facebook merger were issued by Mark Zuckerburger yesterday. The warnings came after reports of incidents attributed to "teething troubles". In one high profile error George Cloo...
PHOENIX - American Spotlight Magazine reports that lame duck Governor Brewer has stated that before she leaves office she is going to try and cause as much misery and mayhem as she can. She said that her bitterness is a result of so many Arizona r...
BEVERLY HILLS - Many of Khloe Kardashian's friends are saying that she look fabulous since she lost all that weight. Khloe has really slimmed down and she has revealed that it has done wonders for her self-esteem, her self-pride, and her bank acc...
"Aye bruh," one text message reads, "Check out dees fresh-ass Jordans." President Barack Obama was only one of many to have his cellphone calls and text messages intercepted by the NSA recently, and his apparent lack of concern for world events is be...
PHOENIX - The latest item on the lame duck agenda list of Governor Jan Brewer is the possibility of banning Facebook from the state. Governor Brewer spoke with American Spotlight Magazine's Lexington Waterbuck and informed him that she has receive...
MENLO PARK, CA--God, deluged with intercessory prayers since the dawn of social media, has outsourced prayer to Facebook to give Him more time to devote to His new hobby, scrapbooking. Explained St. Peter, at a press conference held at Facebook's...
It was a dark day of anger and irony today when Facebook co-founder, kid billionaire and professional toe-rag Mark Zuckerberg made much sound and fury over the U.S. Intelligence agents employing a campaign of digital surveillance. His frustration fil...
If I had to pick one question that sums up the past six years of society on Planet Earth, this would be it. I am asked it on a weekly basis by various people, sometimes by the same people who asked me the same question the previous month. In fact, I'm not actually sure how I should take this repeated questioning. Is it out of pure fucking amazement that I'm one of the few remaining who does...
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) is gathering audiovisual recordings of millions of American citizens in its three-year effort to compile the largest "gonzo" pornographic tape of all time. What men, women, teens, and...
Following on from Facebook allowing users of the popular social networking site to indicate a gender other than the rigidly binary Male and Female, the default profile picture will now be changed. "Not all our users want to put a profile picture,"...
Mumbai: Late last evening, Simran Kanodia, a 19 year old girl was admitted to Dr. Shrink Hospital and is being treated for depression apparently induced from the pain of not being able to change her profile picture on Facebook for 8 days. Your fea...
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